Bad taste to enjoy lockdown

[schooba]

To think it's bad taste for people to enjoy lockdown?

I think some people are sleeping and in total denial to the damage of it.

YABU

The change of pace suits sone people. That doesn’t minimise how hard it is for others.

We don't live in fear of the virus, every time lockdown has been relaxed (and it was quite relaxed anyway compared with what my relatives on the continent were experiencing), we are the first out of the doors to make the most of it- meeting up in parks, I've driven to see family, go for walks.

I won't be going to Ikea though. I have realised just how much I hate shopping in person and will be continuing to spend huge amounts online.

No YABU. Everyone is different. Something which is bad on the face of it may be ABSOLUTELY RIGHT in those particular circs. My mental health was suffering before lockdown as I had a lot of pressures - I wasn't reaching my personal goals and was becoming depressed. Lockdown has helped me reach goals, and I'm feeling better than I have been for a while.

Some people were damaged by the life they had before then.
My 60yo husband is a different man since the office decided he can work at home and doesn't have to do a 4 hour daily commute. Now his office are allowing him to work from home for the first time and he is a different man.

Some people are terrified of the damage that may be done if lockdown is lifted too early. If that leads to a spike in infections that may lead to the death of my daughter who has to access medical care but also has problems with her immune system. She had a busy happy time doing her dream education in London but last time she caught a bad virus (though nowhere near as bad as Covid) it took her a year to recover her ability to walk normally. If she is forced back into education too early it may cost her more than that. I know her mental health is suffering in lockdown, but not as badly as it would suffer from a bad attack of Covid.

Some people are grieving for the people they have lost. Some are grieving for the people who are still incapacitated after 9 weeks of illness and may never make a full recovery. Or they are those people.

In the meantime, some people are also suffering more from lockdown than (as yet) from the effects of the virus, but most people are trying to put a brave face on it. As my dd did last year when she couldn't walk or speak normally. It wasn't bad taste, enjoying what she still could was vital for her survival.

Nothing bad taste about enjoying the life you have.

As long as you are not trying to prolong the period during which that other people can't live their lives.

At the start of lockdown when most people were scared, it was different.

But this is not war spirit pulling together in hard times any more.

It's people who think lockdown is a holiday and people who would prefer not to have that "holiday" enforced on them any more

Great, if you enjoy a slower pace of life quite your job or go part time, pull your kids out of their clubs.

It's not enjoying a slow pace of life that is morally suspect.

It's wanting to enforce that pace on EVERYONE that is unjustifiable.

This used to be a free country. Now it's not.

It's pretty weird to love that.

Although in all systems of control there are people who enjoy it and conspire to keep it going.

No way. I am hating it and have been suicidal at times as I have no adult company, my boys scream and fight and are very challenging, and I am scared about our future and run ragged. If there weren't people who were content, or appreciating large aspects of it, and everyone felt like me....wow.... can you imagine? I will need a lot of support and childcare when it's available and so will my boys, and there would be no one available to offer it if everyone was so dangerously, mentally damaged by it.

Lockdown changed lives pretty much overnight. We were having a grand old time prior to my DH taking a 20% wage cut but now working 12 hr shifts 5 days a week plus working weekends to cover work furloughed colleagues would usually have helped with. My business had to shut and I'm not certain it will ever be the same again. Missing my job, my husband and the money.

Friend up the road, been having a really shitty time of things now her and her DH both off on full pay, loving spending some time with kids, had time to work out some of their issues, no change to income but says savings of their usual commute has made a huge impact on their disposable.

I'm miserable this week- it doesn't mean I think everyone else should be.

Why should people be forced to acknowledge the damage lockdown is doing? Everyone's life has/ is been negatively affected in ways. Why should they be forced on focus on others' pain right now while they are trying to mitigate these circumstances for themselves and their families?

As long as you are not trying to prolong the period during which that other people can't live their lives

And Jow Bloggs would manage that.. how, exactly?

Nothing weird about loving a way of life that suits you.

But then you always do post deliberately contentious comments that don't always make sense.

e.g people on furlough posting barbecue and chilling out pictures all over social media when they have non-furloughed colleagues on there.

But that's not really any different from the way social media can highlight the differences between people's lives in normal times. On that basis you shouldn't ever post pictures of your family because some people don't have one, or your holiday because some people can't afford one,or your garden because some people don't have one, or your coffee with your friend as SAHMS because other women are at work.

As long as you are not trying to prolong the period during which that other people can't live their lives

What would be the mechanism for that??

After a terrible trauma a few years ago and the following life that will never be totally happy again I've vowed to make the most out of every situation.

So although I lost a lot of work and income I was still working and got to have more time in the garden.

DD is shielded so I'm missed her and my GS greatly but we've had great laughs while FaceTiming and having a glass of wine

The shops are shut so I've saved money

I've made lovely friends of next door neighbours over the fence when previously we were all so busy we just passed each other

I've walked weekly with my elderly parents and got to know them as real people rather than just as parents.

I've cooked dishes I'd never thought of doing and some have even been edible.

I think what I'm trying to say is I'm sure no one would have chosen lockdown. But it kept many of us safer and gave us breathing space from the hectic world mostly.

So what do you think people should be doing @schooba? Having exactly the same experience as you? How do you think they should be dealing with the lockdown?

I totally agree @lazylinguist. Nobody is telling people with children not to post pictures of them because people that can’t have them find it upsetting. I’m off Facebook at the moment because that’s my issue, not anyone else’s.

@Nihiloxica - sorry I've done you an injustice by misunderstanding what you posted. I realise now that you're thinking somehow, if we enjoy or are making the most of the lockdown, we're somehow able to influence it?

I don't know how the 'I love lockdown' can possibly make it last longer? I'd love it to last longer (there, I've said it). But my furloughed sister needs to get back to work. DH's company is working out how they can get their people back - so DH will be back to working away from home five days a week.

My sister would love to stay furloughed but she's back on 15th June when the shop she works in opens. She has no control over that, anymore than she did when the shop shut.

My DH would love to carry on working from home but if he's called back, he'll go. How could he change that? Refuse to go? That'd mean losing his job so that won't happen.

I don't understand how me sitting in my garden, or another poster enjoying a daily walk with their family and thinking 'I'd love this to carry on' is actually going to influence Boris and the science?

What it probably has done is made people who are 'enjoying' things in lock down to think how they can carry that on. Like, if you enjoy the walks with the kids, keeping that going at the weekends when you're back at work. Or if you've been baking, trying to slot that into your week somewhere. DS, DH and I have been enjoying our garden. Pre-Covid we'd have been rushing about even at the weekends. Now we've spoken about trying to make sure we keep Saturday or Sunday clear when we go back to work. Just to stop and enjoy the garden. That's not a bad thing surely? But there's no way I can influence anyone to keep this going. My only way to ensure I keep lock down going is to give up my job. If I won the lottery I would - but now? Not a chance!

If the 'enjoyers' amongst us could influence the government, then the 'need this to stop' people could too - probably more so as the economy needs us to go back.

Lockdown has been brilliant for me - however I am well aware that for many it is a truly terrible time - for those who have been unwell & lost loved ones and those facing economic and other hardships. I am conscious I live in a secure bubble and thank my lucky stars. I’m not however going to torture myself to make it more fair....what I can do is support to the best of my ability those that I know who are in need.

I decided to embrace this is my new normal (however temporary) and I have worked on trying to enjoy the benefits of increased time with my children. I am not unaware of the tragic and frightening reason why I have this privilege, or that I am very fortunate. YABU to insist that we all sit around feeling sorry for ourselves.

It is the best of times and it is the worst of times.

I've been enjoying alot of aspects of lockdown immensely, and it does make me feel guilty, as it's devastating when you stand back and look at the big picture... The lives that have been lost, the financial implications for some families and businesses, the knock on impact this could have for years to come, it's awful. But on a daily basis, at home, for me and my family, I can't deny, it's been wonderful to have this extra time together with the children. The extra hours they've got to spend with their dad who's now wfh, but usually out the house 7-7, has created huge happy memories for us as a family, and it's made me appreciate our situation so much, as I know we're in a fortunate position to not (so far) have been affected negatively. I will always cherish this extra time I've got to spend with my children and husband, but I will also always think about and feel for the people who suffered during this pandemic. I don't think that makes it "bad taste".

I work in mental health.

If people are enjoying lockdown, good for them. It genuinely boosts me a little and makes getting through a little easier to hear about people being happy, feeling safe, finding joy. Everyone I come into contact with is anxious and tired and miserable, with fraying relationships and a terror of what is coming next. I would love to hear some positive experiences and happy stories. The sadness is exhausting. If this time is a good time for you, good. I am glad for you. Value it and enjoy it. There's precious little happiness around right now so to know some people are experiencing it is actually really nice.

I think most people are aware and worried about the future but why waste your life worrying? What's wrong with making the best out of a difficult situation if you are able to?

Perhaps my perspective is different because my partner is terminally ill, with around a year life expectancy. I am acutely aware that life is not to be wasted and wearing a hair shirt only makes you suffer - there is no nobility in misery.

My DH had no leave when DS was born. He's been furloughed so he's had weeks and weeks with him. Why would he not enjoy that? It's obviously not the best circumstances that have made it possible but we may as well make the most of it.

@lazylinguist I think people can do what they want but shouldn’t be surprised about being resented if they are bragging about being paid 100% for staying at home to their colleagues getting paid the same who are still in work. That’s not the same as if you happen to be furloughed just making the most of it but being a little sensitive knowing your colleagues are on there i think it just common sense.

Personally I don’t add work colleagues on social media am enjoying lockdown and saving money, but I know I have lots of friends who aren’t and I do generally try and be sensitive.

What would be the mechanism for that??

"Please don't send your children to school, it will be like sending them to tell." signed A Lazy Teacher

"OMG they want to get out children, I'm going to write to my MP to make sure no children get to return to school" signed Anxious Parent who doesn't want child to grow up

"Schools must not return until there are no risks at all" signed Teaching Union making massive strategic error

So I guess you walk around miserable all the time OP. Bad things happen every single day in life, infact absolutely terrible things, things worse than this.