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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To take my baby to see my Mum and Dad.

74 replies

Taxicus · 26/05/2020 10:05

What would you do?

My first baby arrived the first week of April, by mid March DH decided to tell work he wasn't coming in anymore, before the government announced.

We both stayed home and had our baby at home. We have been self isolating since. We have been on walks but live in a remote location (so over deserted fields.) We have not visited a healthcare center or set foot in a shop or gone anywhere or seen anyone. We disinfect and wash anything that comes in (food packets)

My Mum and Dad are shielding. My DH drives round to pick up our groceries every week that they leave in their garden for him to collect. They do online ordering for us as well as themselves.

My parents had "the letter" asking that they shield until 31st June. My DH has been told he will return to work the first week of June he works in a job that is very people facing.

AIBU to visit my Mum and Dad now and maybe stay as a combined household for a fortnight. My thinking is, we will not want to visit after DH returns to work due to risk to them. IF there IS a second wave, they may be asked to shield again and if that's the case I do not know when they will meet their grandaughter. Visiting now, logically poses the least risk rather than waiting. Nothing will change for us between now and June 30th.

I feel I've coped well the past two months but now my mental health is suffering.

OP posts:
TakeMeToYourLiar · 26/05/2020 10:07

In your shoes, yes I totally would

nomorespaghetti · 26/05/2020 10:07

Of course that’s absolutely fine. We are thinking of doing similar, my mum is shielding.

Rebelwithallthecause · 26/05/2020 10:08

I will be doing the same with my parents and newborn Flowers

PaulinePetrovaPosey · 26/05/2020 10:09

Do it. Mental health and family are important.

mrpumblechook · 26/05/2020 10:09

I would visit them. It's incredibly unlikely that you are infected and as you say once your DH goes back to work it won't be as safe.

CPParenttoDD1234 · 26/05/2020 10:12

Yes I 100% would. Covid has pretty much gone from the community setting in London! So I would say a very remote setting is safe. Congratulations on the baby. So sorry it’s not the maternity leave you expected or deserve x

emmathedilemma · 26/05/2020 10:16

Do it!

bookish83 · 26/05/2020 10:22

I would. Congratulations on your baby and managing these first 2 months too xx

FraterculaArctica · 26/05/2020 10:25

No, I wouldn't. Staying overnight in someone else's house is absolutely not allowed.

LockdownSally · 26/05/2020 10:33

Yes 100%

Santasunhelpfulhelper · 26/05/2020 10:35

I’d do it. Sounds sensible.

LividLaughLovely · 26/05/2020 10:38

I would do it.

We are in a very similar position with a nine-week old and a terminally ill relative.

Things will only get MORE risky as lockdown loosens and the relative might not have another chance. It’s very upsetting.

EastMidsMumOf1 · 26/05/2020 10:40

I'd do it now before there is inevitably a second wave.

Taxicus · 26/05/2020 10:41

Thanks for the honest responses and compassion. It has been hard as it is their first grandchild.

OP posts:
Grandmi · 26/05/2020 10:43

100% yes ...they deserve the cuddles and you a big hug..congratulations 💐

Porpoises · 26/05/2020 10:44

Seems reasonable. The risk is low and the benefit to all of you is huge.

GabriellaMontez · 26/05/2020 10:46

I cant believe the extremes you've gone to.

I wouldn't hesitate to visit your parents.
Probably would have done after the first 2 weeks if they were happy.

Bluewater1 · 26/05/2020 10:49

Absolutely

ScarfLadysBag · 26/05/2020 10:56

Yes. I think risk for most of us in a household setting now is as low as it is ever going to be, as most of us have been basically self-isolating for weeks. I'm contemplating going to stay with my parents for a couple of nights as none of us have even been to a shop in eight weeks! There's no way any of us have it, and now is probably the only time I can be certain of that before things start opening again and we try to go back to a 'normal' life.

Flowersinthewild · 26/05/2020 11:04

Honestly...I would! You need rest and to concentrate on your mental health. You parents also must be very upset at not seeing their 1st grandchild which is no good for their mental health. Go and be together it will be fine. Flowers
Congratulations on your baby as well your doing a grand job during such hard times.

Bookrat · 26/05/2020 11:31

That sounds like a sensible and accurate risk assessment. In your shoes I would definitely do this. Hope you have a lovely visit, you deserve it Flowers

LouiseTrees · 26/05/2020 11:37

Yep. Do it

2007Millie · 26/05/2020 12:26

Absolutely.
You've made a brilliant risk assessment and honestly, my mental health could not have coped without support when I had DS

Destroyedpeople · 26/05/2020 12:29

Yes I think you should do it. What about vaccinat ions ,six week check and so on?

Settlersofcatan · 26/05/2020 12:30

You might at some point need childcare so exceptional circumstances