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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Why did you say no?

59 replies

Sometimeswinning · 25/05/2020 23:19

I've been working throughout this since lockdown. Childcare has been an issue but we've used annual leave etc. Schools are hopefully being reopened and I'm now having to listen to people objecting to the fact I will be sending my child back. Aibu to think people should be honest and just say they're scared instead of putting us, with no choice, workers down?

OP posts:
SierraHotel · 25/05/2020 23:21

Everyone has their own story don't they, you have to do what's best for you and your family.

Original poster
Sometimeswinning · 25/05/2020 23:28

I would love to say I have no issue with other peoples choice. Comes to a point where you are judged so much you end up judging back.

OP posts:
DontStandSoCloseToMe · 25/05/2020 23:46

The people I know who've said no (distant relatives and their friends) have all travelled two hours to go to a very well known seaside resort today asking with tens of thousands of others, to accidentally bump into each other for a beach party, they've also had BBQs with non household guests. I despair.

SerendipitySunshine · 25/05/2020 23:58

I don't understand your post. Is there a word missing in the question?

ktp100 · 26/05/2020 00:03

Say no to what? Sending kids back to school?

If so, it's obvious, isn't it? Some people trust the government and others don't. Some will be able to work from home so see no urgency in sending kids back, others are working and so will. Some have family members shielding and some don't.

We all have to make the decision based on our own family circumstances.

Also, why would you care what anyone else thinks about what you do? Life is too short for that shit!

SpillTheTeaa · 26/05/2020 00:09

You do what you got to do. No one will ever agree. No one should also be judged on what they decide to do but it will happen. You'll get judged if you do or you don't. You can't win.

BackforGood · 26/05/2020 00:14

This is a bit confusing.

Say no to what ?

Who is objecting to you sending your dc to school when the time comes ?

Wo is putting you down ?

Original poster
Sometimeswinning · 26/05/2020 00:19

As you've all guessed the topic, I assume you must have picked up the issue?? Sorry I didnt spell it out. Not hard though was it??

OP posts:
FlamingIris · 26/05/2020 00:24

I’m sorry you feel judged. Schools are open for those who require it. Like yourself.

If you could work from home and sending your child to school was an option rather than a necessity, would you?

NeverTwerkNaked · 26/05/2020 00:25

The mums i know who have said "no" and are going round judging other parents are the same mums who are driving for 2 hours to go to the beach regularly, and are posting pictures of "meeting up for a few cheeky drinks"....

I think some people who have been furloughed are just quite enjoying a long summer "off"

Mistressiggi · 26/05/2020 00:26

Who's judging you? You need better friends.

NeverTwerkNaked · 26/05/2020 00:27

@FlamingIris I would. The risk to children and healthy adults is negligible and they miss their friends and they really miss getting an education and it is blooming tough trying to do a full time professional job with children at home

hope40 · 26/05/2020 00:38

I initially thought you meant why did you say no when you were proposed to op Grin I feel embarrassed now lol.

Saying no, or yes, to your kids going back to school next week? Forgot other people and do what feels right for you and your family. People will always have opinions / judgements about everything (there's nothing we can do to change that), but ultimately we all have our own unique families and different circumstances. Weigh everything up and do what feels right for you and yours.

SharonasCorona · 26/05/2020 00:42

I really don’t understand the AIBU.

Original poster
Sometimeswinning · 26/05/2020 00:43

@Mistressiggi, unless you have social media, read mumsnet, papers, watch news its not just friends. Luckily my friends have been supportive. Not all agree but most of them have been home or furloughed. Put more thought into your answers.

@FlamingIri Me and dh have used our a/l to work through this. This wont make any difference to us as this only helps 1 of 3 children for less hours than we need. We will still be booking leave for childcare.

OP posts:
Original poster
Sometimeswinning · 26/05/2020 00:48

@SharonasCorona and yet you still posted? Sorry I couldn't ignore your comment. If you had read comments above you may have picked up some clues????

OP posts:
dellacucina · 26/05/2020 00:51

Sorry, I have no idea what you're asking.

CuppaZa · 26/05/2020 00:51

OP you are being quite aggressive towards posters. Welcome to parenthood, a world of judgement from other parents. If you do something differently you are judged. But, if you believe in your actions as a parent and know you are doing the right thing for your family, why would judgement from others bother you?
I am doing the right thing for my family and I don’t give a damn about anyone else’s opinion in the slightest! What others are doing or their views really doesn’t even register on my radar. I certainly don’t take their opinions to heart or give them a seconds thought. You know why? Because I am doing the right thing for us. Why do their voices opinions bother you so much?
At the end of the day, you do what’s right for your family. Sod what others think

Picklypickles · 26/05/2020 01:00

I wont be sending my 6 year old back for a variety of reasons, we've had virtually no communication from the school about what a return to school will look like or what is supposed to be happening, parents questions have not been answered. I don't need to send him back, I don't work and I'm quite happy to keep my children at home until I feel happy to send them back - at the moment I have literally no clue what I'd be sending the 6yr old back to or even if he'll be in his usual school or another school in a different village with teachers and children he's never met. He is currently on a waiting list to be assessed for ASD and he would struggle with social distancing etc.

I have no interest in judging what other parents are doing, I really don't care.

Mistressiggi · 26/05/2020 01:01

Put more thought into your answers
You're a rude wee fucker, aren't you?
Or just having a bad day?

Original poster
Sometimeswinning · 26/05/2020 01:05

I've been a bit condescending to those who came on here confused. I've probably rolled my eyes at those who say why do you care after explaining their reasons for keeping their children home. Not aggressive really is it?

OP posts:
Heathcliff27 · 26/05/2020 01:15

I'm judging you for your fucking shitty attitude

ramseyspamsey · 26/05/2020 01:16

You do sound aggressive OP.

Who is judging you? You implied it isn't your friends? I haven't picked up any sense of judgment just through reading the news. Which just leaves social media and the standard reply of "delete social media". Keep in touch with actual friends on whatsapp.

Kljnmw3459 · 26/05/2020 01:24

Who is judging you? Not your friends as you said. Your family? Colleagues? school mums/dads? Or do you feel judged by posters on MN with different opinions?

Toomuchtrouble4me · 26/05/2020 01:28

What are you after? Some kind of pity party? FFS - Nobody cares if you send your kids back or not. We all have to what suits our own situation. I will judge you on your attitude though - It stinks.