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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Why did you say no?

59 replies

Sometimeswinning · 25/05/2020 23:19

I've been working throughout this since lockdown. Childcare has been an issue but we've used annual leave etc. Schools are hopefully being reopened and I'm now having to listen to people objecting to the fact I will be sending my child back. Aibu to think people should be honest and just say they're scared instead of putting us, with no choice, workers down?

OP posts:
LoveIslandVirgin · 26/05/2020 01:37

Put more thought into your answer?

Here’s my thought - don’t second guess other people by saying they must be scared and focus on your own needs/emotions. You need to work and you need your children to go to school. What anybody else thinks is their business. Don’t concern yourself with that.

CuppaZa · 26/05/2020 01:54

You sound bitter OP

nettie434 · 26/05/2020 01:57

At the end of the day, you do what’s right for your family. Sod what others think

Is that you Dominic?

Sorry couldn't resist it, CuppaZa

ViciousJackdaw · 26/05/2020 02:13

I'm now having to listen to people

You don't have to listen to them though. You can blatantly disregard them if you want. By 'people', do you mean MIL?

LovePoppy · 26/05/2020 02:27

Do what you need to do

But you shouldn’t be snotty to people trying to understand your issue to give you advice

Namesgonenow · 26/05/2020 02:32

What a shitty snotty poster OP is

ScubaSteven · 26/05/2020 02:34

My husband is shielding, my youngest is the only one eligible for a place and the only one who forgets to social distance when we’re walking in the woods, I don’t believe it is in our family’s best interests. That’s why.

If I needed childcare then I still wouldn’t consider it because it’s hardly covering a working day which means I’d have to rely on other childcare thus increasing the number of people my DC were mixing with.

For the reasons above and more it is not safe.

What do you plan to do with your DC for the hours you’re working which aren’t covered by the new school day?

ohtheholidays · 26/05/2020 02:35

I would never judge you OP,you have to do what's right for your family no one elses!

We wont be sending our DD12 back because she's disabled(she attends a mainstream school)so she won't be going back untill things are alot clearer.

VodselForDinner · 26/05/2020 02:37

Put more thought into your answers

Put more words into your questions.

CovidicusRex · 26/05/2020 05:10

We got trapped on holiday. I really don’t mind and am happy to extend our holiday given that the school are indifferent and it’s only a month of school. Besides, I’m not sure how long it would take us to get back (all sorts of issues we’d have to rush through if we tried to make the return journey). It woulda so be really annoying if we came home only for schools not to be opened.

Monty27 · 26/05/2020 05:16

If people have the luxury of being at home with their DC's that's fantastic I hope they do so. The less at school the better. Flowers

Puds11 · 26/05/2020 05:27

Jesus there’s no need to be such a dick @Sometimeswinning.

I find it odd that you’re letting social media and Mumsnet get you into such a state. They aren’t compulsory you know.

I’ll be sending my baby to nursery from Thursday. If anyone wants to judge they can. I’ve just watched my friend wreck herself trying to work and look after a baby. It’s not sustainable.

R2519 · 26/05/2020 05:37

The issue we have is whether or when to send our daughter to nursery, when they reopen, weighing up the risk to our parents should we do that. Covud isn't going anywhere so older people or those with medical issues like my father, who isn't shielded but is vulnerable, potentially not seeing us for a very long time.

Question for those sending kids back, and I genuinely don't mean any judgement, how are you going to deal with older parents and seeing them over tge coning months, perhaps those with health issues and at risk.....bearing in mind covid isn't going to go away. Are you risking it or planning on not seeing them for a long time?

This is something that's really concerning us at the moment.

Redwren · 26/05/2020 05:46

If your really happy and confident in your choice then you really shouldn't care what others think

Did you say you have three children though? And only one is going back? So it wont actually make a difference to your situation.

Bibijayne · 26/05/2020 05:51

You have not been clear. You have been vague and then rude.

You say you feel judged for planning to send your children back to school. By whom? A reasonable question from a PP that got a shirty response from you.

You beg the question, why don't people just say they are scared? Many do. This is not acknowledged.

Several PP have said everyone has different circumstances which is why people will take different approaches. You waffle on about how people doing something different to you are judging you by default. Which is nonsense.

You do you. They do them. If someone is rude to you ignore or address it when it happens.

HollyBollyBooBoo · 26/05/2020 06:15

Christ Op, did you have a bad day yesterday?!

Hope you have a better one today!

WanderingMilly · 26/05/2020 06:24

Most people I know who are not sending their children back to school are doing so for their own reasons. Some are shielding, some worry about the kind of school experience their child will get with so few children back and think it's best to wait until everyone is back. Some are scared....scared that it is too soon and that their child may bring the virus home into the family who have thus far avoided illness.

I don't have small children these days but I wouldn't be sending mine back either if I had, for the above reasons.
However, I wouldn't judge anyone else who did so, because each parent has a choice and acts in the best interests (usually) of their child and/or family situation. Some parents can't work while the children are at home and family finances are vital, for some mental health issues of being shut in at home are problematic and others need to see schoolmates or colleagues....

All this has been said before, over and over. Who on earth is putting you down? I don't get it, no-one's putting you down. Just do what you think is best....

rwalker · 26/05/2020 06:36

It's a personal choice but think I know where you are coming from. There are people kicking off and on about not opening schools voting for not opening them but they have no kids and there decision had little or no impact on them.
In brief if it doesn't affect you keep out of it .

Butchyrestingface · 26/05/2020 06:58

Sorry, I have no idea what you're asking.

I don't have a clue what she's on about the either. The thread title is confusing as hell.

Other than that, OP appears to have a posting style modelled on the Dominic Cummings school of charm. Grin

DustyMuse · 26/05/2020 07:00

I suspect Sometimeswinning might be more judged IRL for her unpleasantness than her decision to send her children back to school.

rottiemum88 · 26/05/2020 07:07

I'm judging you for your fucking shitty attitude

This. I have a feeling people may be judging you for other reasons than you think Hmm

MaximumDose · 26/05/2020 07:11

Op, you sound stressed. I am in the same boat as in I'm sending my y1 back the day school opens. I have no idea who of my friends or school mum acquaintances are doing the same, i've not asked them. Do what you have to do. From what I've seen there's judgement in both directions.

TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross · 26/05/2020 07:15

I don't think people are judging you for sending your kids back to school. If you feel judged, you might need to look elsewhere for reasons why.

Beautiful3 · 26/05/2020 07:16

I'm not judging. If you can get a place at school and happy to send your child I, then do it. My school have said they have issues with social distancing and lack of space. So may not open up fully until September when rules may be relaxed. I'm a sahm so happy to keep mine at home.

SnuggyBuggy · 26/05/2020 07:22

You need to ignore the judgy people, don't give them so much power