Instant dislike

[okycoky17]

I have always been able to tell instantly, i.e within the first 30 seconds of meeting someone, whether I like them or not. And those instincts have always been proved right.

On the flip side i’ve met people who have instantly either taken to me or disliked me. And what’s weird about it is you can’t pinpoint exactly what’s happened to provoke either response. AIBU to think that we all operate this sixth sense despite that old saying “never judge a book by it’s cover?” I think we all have this quick like or dislike response when I we meet someone. We might be conditioned by modern society to say we’ll reserve judgement but in truth is probably either “yeah, you’re nice,” or “I don’t trust you!”

I think for many of those who are ASD and saying that people take an instant dislike to them - it's body language.

My friend's son is autistic. His body language is all over the place. He has physical tics, his facial expressions are often inappropriate to the situation (he laughs when people are in pain). None of this is his fault. But if you met him for the first time you would find it very unsettling. You can't tell, for example, whether he's happy to meet you or not. He has none of the usual 'tells' so you don't know whether he's about to shake your hand or punch you.

So I think it's just that people are trying to sum you up very fast - as humans do, we need to read intention - and not being able to. This tends to set off the 'dislike' radar. Some of my best friends (and indeed one DD) are ASD, but I have to admit that I was a bit frosty with them when I first met them! (Not my DD of course, I loved her on sight!)

Maybe I answered this incorrectly. I wouldn't count deciding that someone is a creepy lech "instant dislike", because I've seen them staring inappropriately / heard their inappropriate words / in the worst cases felt an inappropriate hand. I feel that I have a reason to dislike them as a result of their actions, so it isn't "instant". Every effort to avoid them where possible though, either way.

I've met a couple of people that I just haven't gelled with for no apparent reason, but, when I think logically about it they have obvious traits that I don't like in myself! I recognise these as negatives I don't like more immediately as I don't like them in me.

There was someone at work, who I had an niggling feeling about. However, I thought maybe I was being judgmental. A year later, she turns on me and creates a drama over nothing. If she hadn't had left I would have resigned. So, yeah I always trust my gut feeling.