Any first time mums with own eggs age 46 after recurrent m/c history?

[Getintogear963]

Hi ladies
Just wondering if there’s any of you who’ve become first time mum’s around age 45-46 with own eggs and trying naturally?
I’m 45 not yet a mum. My history is (from age 39 to 43) : a Down’s syndrome aborted pregnancy (baby was very ill) followed by 4 miscarriages. I also had one round IVF in June 2017 but didn’t get pregnant.
My last m/c was Dec 2017 and I’ve done nothing since! But hubby and I thinking to get back on horse again and give it one more year to just go for it and try. We want our own biological baby.
Any success stories you can share? I know it would be a miracle but these can happen!
I’m 45, periods still like clock work and to date after seeing several top specialists and investigating the NK cell route through to so many others.... (I’m an expert!) the reality is that it’s just been “bad luck” for me. There’s always a chance of throwing a six in the dice.... I’d love to hear from you successful older first time mums! Thank you 😊

I would post in infertility- it’s more of a specialist forum.

Sorry that was rude of me- I’m very sorry to hear about your history. I’m sure you know though that, whilst not impossible, chances of natural pregnancy at 46 are very unlikely. Good luck.

Thank you Ilikeviognier 😊
Trust me I’ve done infertility route to death, I could write a book.
I’m truly only left to believe that it’s just been terrible luck for me as I’ve had 100’s tests over the years from top specialists including Prof Regan at St Mary’s (and a good few other too specialists in London), and bottom line is there’s nothing medically wrong with me - I’ve simply had bad luck.

I literally am just looking to know if any there are any first time older mums out there with own biological baby. I’m not looking to learn anything about recurrent miscarriage or infertility.

for you, OP.

I think in your position I would do IVF with donor eggs.

Thanks peperethecat.

As my periods are prefect and as I conceive really easily, I’m going to brave one more year of getting on the horse to try naturally. I do hear of women having own baby naturally at 45. Just keen to hear from one who might be living through it now.
Egg donor doesn’t appeal to me. For me it’s own baby or nothing. xx

You probably know this already, but supplements like Ubiquinol could really help you with egg quality. You just need to catch one decent egg.

I think it is still possible to be ovulating like clockwork every month but for your remaining eggs to be poor quality resulting in aneuploid embryos. It's possible that I am in this situation - I'm more than 10 years younger than you but also conceive easily and suffer from recurrent pregnancy loss. My doctors told me that the only way of knowing whether your egg quality is the problem is by doing IVF with PGS testing. If all or nearly all the embryos you get are aneuploid, you can assume that was the problem. My doctor also told me that if I was over 40 they would assume that was the problem and if I was under 30 they'd assume it wasn't, but because I'm in my mid 30s it might be that or it might not be.

You sound like you've been through the mill in terms of fertility treatment, so is it safe to assume you've had your FSH and AMH levels checked and an antral follicle count done recently? If you have, what have your doctors said about your ovarian reserve?

If you really want your own biological baby with your own eggs then I wouldn't waste any time trying naturally. I'd just go for IVF with PGS testing. Then if you get normal embryos you transfer them and hope for the best, and if you don't, at least you know and you won't be transferring embryos that are destined to fail.

On the donor egg point, I guess everyone has their own feelings about this. But what I will say is that in women with ovarian failure, IVF with donor eggs makes their chances of carrying a healthy baby to term more like those of a much younger woman. The baby might not have been made with your egg but you would still grow it inside your body, give birth to it and have your baby from the very moment it is born. I too would rather have a baby with my own eggs but I am much more OK with the idea of donor eggs than I am with using a surrogate (if it turns out that my eggs are fine but for some reason I can't carry to term) or adoption, which is an amazing thing to do but we wouldn't get a newborn that was ours from day one. I think donor eggs are worth considering if it doesn't work out for you with your own eggs.

Statistically 3% of women can get pregnant naturally at 45. Only 0-1% give birth to a live baby, because of egg quality and not managing to develop a healthy placenta.

But if you absolutely don't want to use donor eggs, then it's a case of 'nothing ventured, nothing gained', as long as you can cope with what it might bring.

Peperethecat and Ilikeviognier just going to read your comments and reply. Thanks. xx

In meantime here’s an article below. This is where my heads at. (Obvs not got the baby though but still believe and relate to it).

thegoodshufu.wordpress.com/2016/05/02/how-i-got-pregnant-naturally-at-45/

I remember my friend who is an early pregnancy nurse telling me of a lady who was terrified of giving birth falling pregnant with twins when she was 45. She also sees at least one woman a month in her fifties who is pregnant.

Thanks Ponoka7. Yes very grim stats indeed.
I think because I’ve lived the past few years coming to terms with being a childless (own baby) woman and because I’m of the mindset of knowing it’s over for me, that one more year of a dice shake is worth it whilst I still can. It’d simply be a miracle if it worked which is how I genuinely see it.
I just don’t want regrets when I do finally reach menopause and feel I’ve got it in me for one last go, especially after a 2 year break and now mentally and physically stronger than I’ve ever been xx

I remember my friend who is an early pregnancy nurse telling me of a lady who was terrified of giving birth falling pregnant with twins when she was 45. She also sees at least one woman a month in her fifties who is pregnant.

I imagine the vast majority of these women are pregnant with donor eggs from treatment abroad.

Thanks Ilikeviognier x. Yes I’m aware of coQ10 and although a good health supplement and worth taking, it has not been proven to be effective with any rigorous scientific research. But worth adding to the mix as it can’t hurt. 👍🏻
You’re so right - just that one good egg is all it takes. 🥚 For us “just unlucky” women so many doctors and nurses have said to me over the years “you just have to be strong 🎲 game-players!” 🤢😆x

I really hope you get your baby.

A former work colleague of mine had her first baby in her late 40s though I don’t know if it was assisted or not.

peperethecat Thank you and I’m so sorry you have been suffering. 💔 💐

I totally get you and yes PGS is the recommendation to me (from the IVF clinic I used previously).

But yet Professor Lesley Regan (a top professional in recurrent miscarriage) has total opposite advice. “Try naturally”.

A lot of the problem today regarding recurrent miscarriage is there are conflicting specialists. Each have their own research, their own ideas, their own recommendations and in some cases they just want our money so will say anything!

Who does one believe?

I’m now just concluding to “if it it’ll be, it’ll be” and if trying naturally fails then that’s the cards life dealt me - that being a mum was just not on my cards.

I am not even going to bother with hormone tests to check egg situation. (Had these in past). Again if I get pregnant great and if it works, great.

As for donor eggs, I already have “half of my husband” in my 2 gorgeous step-children. I just wanted a mini me/hub as an addition - never been keen on egg donor - guess some women either feel it or they don’t. I realise I’ll have nothing if I don’t get my own baby but I’ve come to accepting that now.

As for you, you’re a whole ten years younger so you must stay positive!! 🙏🏻. There’s thousands of success stories for women your age and in your situation, there’s so much hope for you for sure. I wish you all the luck and keep positive and stay strong. xx

Thank you Saladmakesmesad 🙏🏻 ❤️

Thank you SerenDippitty 🙏🏻❤️ and PaperMonster 🙏🏻❤️

2 cousins (on completely opposite of family) had children late. 1 had her 1st age 45. The other had a 20yr old, then had another age 44 with her 2nd husband. Neither had IVF and both had healthy kids.

I imagine the vast majority of these women are pregnant with donor eggs from treatment abroad

I've saw an investigative piece about abortion services - there are some (horrified) women in their 50s falling pregnant and accessing abortion services, having thought they surely cant conceive at their age. They could, and did, and it stuck.

Dsis had her first and only, at 45 from a one night stand Perfectly healthy baby.

I second the pgs with IVF. I was 35/36 had 2 egg retrievals, had a total of 11 'good quality' 5 day embryos, transferred 2 (separately), both MC, tested the remaining and only 1 was normal. If I hadn't pgs tested I would have transferred a lot of abnormal embryos. I'm pregnant now but I really don't think I could try naturally again as my abnormal embryo odds are very high. In your situation I would go down the ivf route again. Good luck.

OP, it sounds like it is possible for you, though the odds may be low. If I were you, I would be throwing everything at it at this stage: diet (read ‘It starts with the egg’), exercise that’s good for fertility, acupuncture and hypnotherapy for fertility (both of these have been shown to double conception rates). Reduce stress as much as possible. These will all help. And if they don’t, at least you know you tried.

With donor eggs, it’s worth remembering that the genetic information from the donor is only a blueprint and there are many epigenetic changes that occur during pregnancy and early life (and indeed all through life) that will be influenced by you, and not the donor.

Keeping everything crossed for you 🤞

They don't have a history of miscarriage but I know 2 first time mums at 46 and two others had kids at 47&49 respectively but had children much younger (different partner). I went to gp and had my hormone levels tested (late 40's) and was told definitely to use contraception as I was still likely to be fertile (I don't want more kids!)

Thanks for sharing Elouera. Keeps reminding me that miracles can happen. 👍🏻❤️

I think this is the thing, a lot of the women people are talking about who got pregnant in their 40s and had a healthy baby will either be women who had fertility treatment (with or without donor eggs) and have chosen to pretend it all happened naturally, or they will be women with unusually good fertility.

It's possible to get pregnant with a miracle baby after years of trying, and it's true that it only takes one good egg and one good sperm. But the odds of that happening are very low.

Personally I wouldn't want to waste any good eggs I had left at that stage trying naturally and hoping for a miracle. I'd be throwing everything at IVF. Doing IVF now versus doing it in a year or two might make the difference between getting one normal embryo and not getting one.

If it means this much to you, don't leave anything up to chance.