to be peeved my DPs dad and sister arent coming to our wedding??

[kitsandbits]

His dad booked a holiday because he didnt't realise we had changed the date - but he could change his flight but his reaction was

'oh...bummmer, wee take lots of pictures for me' Said to me on MSN!

His sister works in a bar in lanzarote - and was ahving trouble having time off in november, so the weddings dec 22 and she was supposed to be home for christmas.

But talking to MIL whos in menorca she said 'oh xxx(sil) says xmas is a really bust time at the bar and she wont be able to get time off'

i said ... has she explained its our wedding? and MIL sAYS

'NO - SHE SAYS THERES NO POINT IN EVEN ASKING'

Im really pissed off, DPs other sisters wedding was a HUGE event

and i feel like were being shitted on

Dps just lost it lately - he got anti-Ds yesterday - and he says hes not bothered but i know he is

sorry he said 'oh bummer ... ah well ...'

lol

YANBU they should make time for it, its not as if its going to happen everyday is it??

Lmao at oh bummer wee and also not that im nit picking but...... xmas is a really bust time?? lol

YANBU That's a crap excuse IMO. If it had been a 2nd cousin twice removed then maybe ok, but his dad and sister??!! Do you get along with them usually or are there any rfits in the family that are unresolved?

They are a really odd lot - MIL & FIL are divorced so theres alot of tension between them all, but NOT between DP and his dad. So he just cant be bothered i guess

My Mil wasnt going to come when it was in November - as shes in menorca working as a kids enntertainer at a holiday resort

But now she is .. but they arent.

I mean i have anxiety anyway and am convinced noone will turn up - and now im really panicking we will look like saddos

Maybe I should say something to FIL- ask if he cant change his holiday dates?

And tell MIL we are pissed off at SIL?

Or just leave it?

any advice?

Just enjoy your day.

Weddings just aren't a big deal to some people.

Hows Dp supposed to enjoy his day when his Dad and sister arent there - thats 50% of his family!

He'll have to try though, won't he?

Weddings just aren't a biggy to some, and they obviously aren't so your FIL and SIL.

It's sad, because if I knew they meant that much to my child or sibling, I'd deffo be there.

But they just sound like they can't be arsed so I'd be like, 'fine! having fun without you then!'

I would tell his dad that his son with be very upset if he doesn;t make the effort to come.

yeah, i mean it's his son getting married!

Danielle says:
what day are you flying out?
Jim says:
Hiay love......we're out the 13th
Danielle says:
oops - hiya aswell
Jim says:
to the 27th
Jim says:

Danielle says:
awww lottie isnt coming either
Jim says:
I know I spoke to her last night and we've decided we'll cheer each other up !
Danielle says:
yea
Jim says:
so ya'll need to take extra pics !

nobhead

this is a really personal question, but has your DP been married before?

perhaps they're a bit more blase if this is not the first time round?

i don't know, just trying to understand why they'd blow it off like that.

i would just tell him, 'we can't be bothered to take extra pics as you can't be bothered to care.'

nope - were both 22 been together since we were 15.

I think I'd let them know how incredibly upset he is.

Do they know that your DP is depressed?

You should tell them that he would really love for both of them to be there.

Nothing else you can do really- as expat says, some people just dont get fussed about weddings.

No they dont know.

He was only 'diagnosed' yesterday - and im not sure he would want me to tell him.

I understand some people arent fussed - but BOTH of them were fussed enough about dps sisters wedding. There was a lot of bloody fuss over that

You should tell them how upset you are- you want it to be a family occasion.

Has he booked a flight only or is it a package deal?

Hi kits, just got back to this thread - i think you should tell them, you've been a part of their family for 7 yrs now and its heartbreaking to think they won't be there for you both. I wouldn't normally say such slushy things but after having been to 2 weddings in a weekend 2 weeks ago ( a very close friends and then dp's bro's) i wouldn't have missed them for the world - it was so emotional for all concerned and the fact that dp's dad wasn't there to witness his eldest's wedding was particuarly sad (he passed away in Jan)

You can't force them but make it absolutely clear that you want them there more than anything in the world....That it would mean so much to you both, esp. dp.. I don't think you'll regret trying kits. Good luck, let usknow how you get on

Agree absolutely with Lizzer. Let them know how important this is to you and more importantly to your dp. If after that they still won't budge then at least you'll know you tried and can get on planning your wedding without them. And know that you don't need to put yourself out in the future for them.

Sure they are not thinking your sil's wedding was more important - it might be that she made a mahoosive fuss about it so they realised it was important but if your dp has been depressed and not that chatty about it then they might just not realise how much it means to him.

Can't imagine ANYTHING stopping me going to my ds's wedding though - unless he wanted an intimate do with just his dp and didn't want me there himself. In which case I would be totally devastated but respect his wishes....

But you'll both be there, that's the main thing. As upsetting as their absence will be, I promise you won't notice on the day.

And it is their loss.