to ask what advice you would give your 24-year-old self?

[cheekyrobot]

I have Name Changed for this.

I am 24 years old and over lockdown have had the time to reflect. I want to make big changes to my life. I am hoping some advice from others can help me choose the right path so thank you in advance for your time to respond.

What advice would you give to your 24 year old self regarding finances, friends, family, career, travel, and anything else?

Stop worrying! Everything will be fine! I spent a long time worrying about things that never happened. Now I try not to worry too much about things until absolutely necessary - and, even then, it's better to plan/come up with solutions than to panic.

Save some money every month, don't spend it all on clothes and holidays
Take every professional development opportunity you are offered.
Really think about how and when you might become a mother because it's not going to happen the usual way.

Another one saying don't worry, it's such a waste of time and makes no difference to outcomes anyway.
Do things to please yourself, not other people like your mother or your boyfriends/girlfriends. Be your own person with your own ideas and have the courage of your convictions.
Look after yourself and try and keep relatively fit and healthy.
Don't get into credit card debt.

Start a pension. Private one if necessary. Even if you only put £10/month into it. Compound interest over the years will make this very worthwhile.

You are not a student anymore, so stop living like one! The money you spend in the pub each week would probably be enough for a deposit after a year or two!

I was already married and settled with my first son age 24 so everyone else's advice about travelling and not settling down wouldn't have been much use by then...!

The one bit of advice I'd give myself is to try and remember how little and cute my older son still is even when his little brother arrives. My kids are now 6 and 3 and I feel so terrible now I realise that 3 really is young, barely more than a toddler... Back when DS2 arrived, DS1 suddenly seemed so much older compared to a newborn. I feel like I lost him for a couple of years and our bond has suffered a little I am glad I finally realised it recently and am working on being a more patient mum to him again.

I was married, living and working overseas, working towards ttc either then husband.

Hindsight being a perfect science I would with the knowledge I have now (there was no indication at that time how things would pan out with ex) say

Leave him certainly don't get pregnant with him

Learn a European language so you can stay living and working over there without him

Travel more, you love it and get so much out of it

Stop allowing drs to fob you off on the gynae stuff

Stop eating crap! You're getting away with it now but you won't as you get older, maintain the exercise also you'll be glad you did.

I would advise anyone your age not to tie yourself down to a relationship unless it's really awesome, no settling you have ages to do that stuff. Travel as much as possible, take chances - with travel, work, potential new friends, experiences...

Take care of your health, it seems unnecessary now as you're likely feeling pretty fit and healthy but it's as we age that bad habits creep up and scupper us! And that's everything from diet and exercise to skincare, alcohol and smoking etc it's far easier to address these issues and make healthier habits when you're younger.

Take more risks when you're young enough to do so.

You are allowed to stand up for yourself in the face of a bullying boss.

Don't mistake getting on well with him, and having a nice life together, for actually being in love.

Not taking that job abroad because he said he'd miss you too much is not thoughtful or accommodating of you, it means you're sacrificing your happiness for his.

When he asks you to marry you, listen to your initial gut.

(Fortunately I realised these things not long after and was able to move on before it was too late!)

Envision your ideal future and work to make it real.
Don't settle for safety.
Time is the most precious commodity of all.

Finances: It is exciting to earn & enjoy it but if/when you can put some aside to have as a cushion so you are less fearful on those rainy days or to allow yourself the financial space if you need personal space such as considering career change or time off for education. And always maintain some financial independence. I've always worked & paid my own rent & now mortgage but I have watched friends stay in unhappy relationships due to their financial dependence & lack of belief that they can do it for themselves.

Friends: They are your life treasures, for fun, for tears...just being there. I have such such good ones who have my back in a heartbeat & vice versa. Be a good friend.

Family: Celebrate it where you can. I am lucky to have a great one. It always saddens me to see the NC posts altho I understand of course in some situations it gets to that point & there are no alternatives. Respect each other & love each other.

Career: Study hard, work hard...but don't let it be the only thing that is a measure of your worth. Too many people measure themselves by career status & wealth. Be the best you can be when you are at work...but turn off the pc, phone, close the door & enjoy the other people & pleasures that give life meaning.

Travel: Do it... have an adventure

Anything else: Value yourself, set your standards high & if someone does not make the mark & shows you their true self, see it, hear it & know the ones to keep close or keep at a distance.

I reiterate everything pps have said!

1. Travel

1. You are gorgeous make the most of it.

1. Stop worrying about getting a boyfriend just have some fun.

1. Don’t give boys/men the time of day out of politeness. They will take advantage of you let them. Don’t worry about offending them.

1. With boyfriends, what you see is what you get. If they upset you/confuse you a lot that’s what’s in store. If they’re lazy/ tight/ messy/ skint/ jobless don’t expect that to change or listen to empty promises.

1. In your career go for the promotions. Be ambitious and make your own money. Don’t hope for a man to support you.

Success is a lot easier than you think it is. Run away from him. Get a job. They are really easy. Don't be afraid. Write code. Make art. It's all easy. It's so much easier than what you are doing. You only have to try and not even very hard. Just show up. Just risk it. So many people want to give you so many opportunities.

Oh I feel so so sad for her.

Stop trying to please everyone else.
Appreciate how good you look.
Take risks.

All very much depends on YOU. Some people would much rather travel and have experiences, some would rather settle down earlier. Either of these paths is fine! Choose what YOU want to do.

I went travelling aged 26 with my now DH. I don’t regret one second of it, it was an incredible experience.

If I could tell my 24 year old self anything, it would be to have a better work ethic and get my finances in order! Save a 3-6 month emergency fund, start a pension and set up an S&S ISA.

I look back at all the years I lived at home and pissed my salary up the wall on eating out, drinking and clothes. I could’ve easily saved £500 a month, but I didn’t! Obviously this depends on whether you’re still at home or renting, but whatever position you’re in, try to save SOMETHING. Having a good cushion of savings will make life so much easier in the future.

Oh and definitely travel more.

I was living with an idiot controlling boyfriend who I adored and hoped to be with forever.
When he left with my friend I was shattered but it really was the best thing that could have happened to me.
I was a lot more careful about choosing DH!

I'd say look after your teeth, find an exercise that you love, so it's not a chore and remember to keep up your hobbies.

Cherish your Mum and Dad and put effort into your sibling relationships, they will probably be your longest relationships!

You will never have such mobility (Current pandemic excepted!!) so move to wherever you dream of living for a few years and find work there.

Avoid credit if you can and if borrowing is unavoidable at least arrange a loan rather than using credit cards.

Dump the cock lodger, don't let anyone tell you you're not good enough or stupid to have aspirations and have more faith in your own opinion...you know yourself better than anyone!

Oh and don't try to plan everything/the future...things will come along which will change your path so take those fun, spontaneous moments when you can as you don't know when you will have to put things on hold for a little bit.

Travel and party even more than you did. Save more and complete that masters!

Lose the weight now while it’s easy to do so. If you don’t you’ll pile even more on and it’ll become near impossible to shift. Don’t waste the best years of your life being fat.

Go on that singles holiday to Australia, it could have been the adventure of a lifetime.

Dont sell your house and move 70 miles away to live with your boyfriend.

Realise that the reason you dont want kids is because he isnt the man you want to be their dad.

Dont marry him and move back nearer family.

I haven't done any of that by the way!!

I personally disagree with all the live it up stuff - save as much as you can, you don't know when you will need it. Free stuff can be fun too.

I was a very old 24 though, more interested in walking and gardening.

Prioritise friends not boyfriends

Take up running.
Don’t be afraid to end it with someone who doesn’t treat you well all the time.
Travel and explore. You can do it alone. (Just do it safely!)
Do a better job with the sunscreen.

You're doing great- don't doubt your intuition. You're hot as hell so stop worrying. Sleep with many and varied men without guilt and sleep with a woman too- you'll always wonder no matter how much you love men. Be more hedonistic. When you travel don't come home for a lot longer- a job will be there when you get back. Listen to your heart, not your head- be with who YOU want, fuck the fallout. You're having the time of your life- stop and remember that sometimes. Dance, dance and dance some more- clubbing will never be so good again.t

Stick to your guns that you'll never marry. Listen to those warnings in your head and don't do it- who cares what people think or how much money you lose. You knew the day of the wedding but you left it too many years of him gas lighting you and eroding who you were before you left.

OP what a fabulous time to be young- you're wonderful, believe in yourself.