to ask what advice you would give your 24-year-old self?

[cheekyrobot]

I have Name Changed for this.

I am 24 years old and over lockdown have had the time to reflect. I want to make big changes to my life. I am hoping some advice from others can help me choose the right path so thank you in advance for your time to respond.

What advice would you give to your 24 year old self regarding finances, friends, family, career, travel, and anything else?

@GhostCurry has it in one. I'm 39 and starting to wish I'd done all those

Don’t stay with someone who you aren’t sure about, you deserve to be truly happy and that is possible with the right person. It doesn’t matter if you don’t meet the right person immediately, just have fun, so no rush. Also- believe in yourself and don’t lose passion for whatever it is you care about.

When I was 24 I moved from another country to the UK. I was a bit scared (had escaped a controlling hideous partner though).. came to do a PhD. And I went wild! Met loads of people, many are my closest friends still, travelled when I could, worked in bars and as a cleaner as well as teaching. I loved my life eventually... but when I was 27 I felt I’d really become comfortable with me and who I want to be.
I have no regrets from that period of my life.
So I’d say... you aren’t old!!!!! Just wait til you are 27, then you’ll never want to get even a year older.
20 years later... on good days, I still think I’m 27.

At 24 I was having my first child. I would tell myself "you are a great mum. Believe in yourself"

But specific but put more money into the work share save as you would have been quids in!! As it was I didn't understand it and didn't make as much money as colleagues!

Boring but if you're able to, put money into a pension, the compound interest makes it worth doing it as early as possible.

Also live your life...I am now 34 and live a much more sedate life...somewhat frustrates me but I have a baby so I chose this really...!

SPF Every single day - make sure you do chest and neck too

Shag as much as possible and really enjoy yourself

More confidence will come to you later but I promise you are more beautiful and complexion more radiant than ever. Just enjoy it.

Care less what others think

Trust your instincts about friends and ones that don’t make you fee nice just try and find new ones

Just really enjoy yourself as much as you can. Treat it almost like an obligation. I don’t mean mindless pleasure at all costs. I mean just find the fun and your heart and follow them

Don’t get into debt!

Oh yes

Please start a pension

Watch your posture and care for your back - do strength exercises

Do not, I repeat do NOT, marry him. He may be a nice guy and make you feel safe but you know deep down that you will be settling.
Be brave, go and travel to get it out of your system but then for the love of God go home. You will regret living abroad when you have children.
Train and pass professional exams and really invest in your career but make time for friends and fun.
Be brave, know your worth and stop being a people pleaser. Go NC with toxic people and don't feel guilty about it.
And yes to lightening up and having more fun with men.
Don't even think of settling down until you're 30.

Ooh, I disagree with don't save at the expense of fun. Where exactly does that end?

I was well on the housing ladder by 24 in a job that did well for me. I travelled but not for extended periods of more than a month at a time

Don’t marry the useless Wanker.....

Emigrate before it all turns to shit in this country. Try New Zealand.

Move to a place that enhances your social life and doesn't make you feel it's unsafe to venture out .
Don't let him make you doubt how lovely, funny and beautiful you are .
Don't be the 'cool girlfriend '.
Don't settle for someone who is less into you than you are into them .
Don't sacrifice your family for your relationship.

I would tell myself that it will be OK. Regardless of the shit choices in men, the wrong paths ... you will end up in the right place so don't dwell, be anxious or feel a failure. I am a 51 year old struggling single mum but it's OK. If I hadn't made those choices I wouldn't have my gorgeous DS, a job I love and the wonderful family and friends here. Most of all I wouldn't have the strength I have.

I would probably advise myself to lose weight and keep it off as it's bloody hard now.

Buy a house / flat. I think this one is important.

Establish your career, or at least have fun in a job you like.

Have fun, go out at the weekend drinking, sleep with the sexy bloke with the cheeky smile. Repeatedly.

Consider marrying for money if you want to be rich, like everyone else, apart from me, on MN. The majority of them on here have husbands earning £80,000+. You don't have to marry a poor man to be worthy/righteous. I never married rich and I am v poor in comparison to everyone I know.

I wouldn't worry about travelling that much. I think its a waste of money and a very middle class way to put off life.

Do the freedom programme. Read 'Why does he do that?' Google narcissistic personality types, narcissistic hoovering, cycle of violence, drama triangle, red flags and how to set healthy boundaries. Don't be a people pleaser. Don't try to make them like you. The man you pick will be the most important man in your child's life so choose wisely.

I wish I had a time machine to travel back and tell all that to myself 😔

Ditch anyone who doesn't treat you with respect or as an equal.

Ditch anyone showing signs of low empathym, even if he showers you with declarations of love and affection. Those incidents when he hurt you were not aberrations but who he actually is.

Any cracks in your relationship will become chasms once you have children and will tear you apart.

Never move to follow your husband's career. It is nearly always women who move to where their husbands want to be. It's societal sexism. Men don't feel guilt for asking wives to make sacrifices for them and women feel guilt for not wanting to make those sacrifices.
Don't become a victim of this. You are worth more than that.

The new boyfriend's a keeper. Get some counselling about the old one.

Meet new people
Keep in touch with the people you love just don't see (just occasional - you cant keep in touch with everyone)
Buy as little "stuff" as possible, so you are free to move if needed
Don't get into debt
Wear sunscreen
Exercise more

I moved back from abroad at 24 after 2 years as I thought i needed to buy a house and get a 'proper' job... i didn't. I could have had a few more years travelling at least.

I married that knob... still married to him now aged 41, except he is a bigger knob 🙄 Don't marry anyone with a hint of aggression, they never change. Never be afraid to walk away,I wish I had (in fact i will one day!).

Look after your friends, they have your back. But dont compare yourself with them.

Look after your skin and love it (i thought i was spotty til my 30s but actually just compared myself to airbrushed people!) i love my skin now and i look ok for my age, i wish i had appreciated it more when i was younger and slapped on less foundation.

Save a little (will reap rewards in your 30s)and don't use credit cards.

Enjoy yourself 😀

Enjoy the money while you only have yourself to spend it on!!

Build a company to be ready to sell PPE in 2020 🤣

In all seriousness, I'd tell myself to get the paramedic qualification and start my career

I find this tricky as I don't have any regrets for my life, I'm very lucky

Stop spending on credit.

Don't settle.

I wish I had chose a career path that was more flexible. Whether that fitted more travel in when I was younger or now childcare.

Try and work out what you want out of life if it's to travel the world use your money for that. If you want a family plan towards that.

Skincare is 100% important at any age.

Always have back up savings before anything else. It allows you more freedom and independence.

Take lots of photos and back them up everywhere so you don't loose them.

Memories are more important than materialist items.

Don't compare yourself to others. In a couple of years you really won't care.

Buy the flat. Actually, buy the house.
Travelling the world is overrated. Get on the property ladder.
Cherish your true, lifelong friends. Travel to see them if you're going to travel.
Walk. Don't drive.
You're never trapped and it's never too late. And above all, you're never alone, even if you're convinced you are. Everyone has somebody who's truly there for them in their hour of need.

If your first career choice is poorly paid choose something else that isn't. You have the luxury of time even if it is lots of hard work.

Take risks in your career which may mean moving aboard - it may or may not be permanent. I came back after a year each time of working aboard, I have friends who came back after 3-5 years including with spouses and friends who have never come back.

Don't rush to settle down you have plenty of time as divorce can be difficult and expensive.