To think most property owners don’t understand how hard it now is to buy a house

[Boredfromboredshire]

DP and me earn 40k between us and our rent is 1200 a month for a 3 bed house. We don’t have rich relatives, we are in our early 40’s and circumstances (ill health) meant that we didn’t buy a house before. We can’t save a deposit & houses are expensive by us. We have stable jobs & our kids are happy so moving in the current uncertain time’s isn’t an option. Life has happened to us & some of it has been out it control.

Cue well meaning friend (who bought their house for peanuts) asking me why we couldn’t afford a house when we could get a house in a cheaper area for ‘only’ 400k. I’m so fed up of it. We really want a home of our own & we would move but in the current recession, it’s not a good idea to give up a job. And we can’t afford to save. My friend (whose deposit was 12k can’t understand it and looks on pityingly while telling me the house they bought for 120k is now worth 700k.

For many of us, the housing market is closed for ever. I’m so tired of the pity and the complete cluelessness- I quite often feel utter despair about it. It makes me feel such a failure for no real fault of our own. Some people were lucky because they happened to buy at a particular month in time & then some of us couldn’t & it’s over.

I don’t think people who own really understand what it’s like. Low interest rates, cheap mortgages, everything weighted in favour of owners while renters are treated like the Victorian poor.

Aibu to be sick of it. We are a normal family in normal jobs.

We bought our first house almost 20 years when were in our very early 20’s. Within a few months of buying our house it had gone up in value by 50% and if we’d have bought a year later than we did it wouldn’t have been affordable to us at that time.
I’m very aware that buying a house may not be a possibility for our children without a lot of financial help from us and even then they may be in their 30s when it’s possible.
I’m 40, partner is slightly younger and we get how how difficult it is. Our parents are all in their 60s and 70s and are clueless as to how difficult it is to buy a property now. When I told my parents that our bills were £800 per month, they presumed that included our mortgage. I wish.
So yes, some people are clueless. But many people like us realise just how lucky we are and feel really bloody sorry for our children’s generation. Just ignore their ignorance.

It is your choice to remain in Oxford but it is super expensive. Other university towns would mean the buy market is not necessarily closed forever.
Durham 115k 3 bed semi
Manchester 3 bed new 189k 5%deposit

House prices have created a massive financial divide, It’s completely insane the rate at which they’ve risen and it’s frozen so many people out of the market. it does feel like younger generations are heaped with university debt and then need huge sums of available money to buy a home. Houses should be homes not investments. We all need them to live in!

Houses in St Helen's are 65k for a 2 bed terrace. The fact is that you can't afford to buy a property in the area in which you choose to live. So move to a cheaper area, go without stuff. It's about choices.

@Boredfromboredshire and others in the same situation.

Just I am late 40s mortgage nearly paid off, managed to buy 1st property 21 years ago.

I frequently explain to people my own age that starter properties 20 years ago cost x times graduate average salaries and now they cost x multiplied by 3-20 times depending on where in the country you live.

It boils my piss that people conveniently forget that salaries have no way kept up with property prices even in "poor" areas in the NW!

We inherited nothing and had no parental help .
When we got married our combined income from two fulltime jobs was £16 per week and the rent of our first home was £4.50 a week. It was a couple of unheated attic rooms with no front door; the only bath and toilet was two floors down and shared with the other occupants.
When we bought our first property, our mortgage lender required a deposit of 25% of the price and the interest rate was 8%, which later rose even higher and peaked at 17%

 It was always hard to buy a house.

Although I call it a flat it was just a room, bedroom and kitchen; the only bathroom was two floors down, shared with the rest of the house, and we were rationed to two baths a week. We lived poor and saved money.
When we bought our first house, we had to pay a 25% deposit.
At one time, we were paying a mortgage interest rate of 17%.

So please, give up the idea that propert

Why will some people in Ops situation manage to buy and others not....even with kids and low paying jobs and previous health issues?

Lots of different decisions carefully worked out to tread a slow bit steady path to the end goal - knowing it will be very hard and take a long time.

Lots of people find the choices just too hard. They say they can’t do extra hours because the kids need to see them, or they are too tired or the tax makes the gain not worth it. They say they can’t live in a 2 bed flat with 2 kids who need a garden. They say they can’t move from where their jobs are. But people make these hard choices every day to make it start to happen. Even when their savings grow slowly, they don’t become despondent and blow a chunk on a holiday or new TV to cheer themselves up. They don’t decide it’s not worth trying because it’s too late and too hard, but they tread the hard road - they make the sacrifices.

People in the past did make sacrifices to buy. The market is different today and different sacrifices are needed sometimes, but it isn’t always the case that home owners don’t understand or can’t understand.

Some renters have given up or are not prepared to do the hard things which are options to get to home ownership eventually. If they’ve decided the sacrifices are too much, that’s fine, but they should acknowledge that there were things they chose not to do (possibly perfectly validly) that could have or could still make it happen.

The inequality between homeowners and tenants is absolutely horrendous. In no way is this your personal issue OP, the system is broken. If anyone suggests you try harder to save, why not suggest they try harder next time they vote, to get a party in that tries to level the playing field a little more and make home ownership attainable again.

YANBU. The price for an average house in an average area is insane.

However there's a chance the property market will crash like it did in the 1990s. Then the clueless homeowners you're frustrated by will all be in negative equity which is a really tough strain on morale and finances, while you might finally be in a position to buy at the market's lowest point. There hasn't been a likelier time for this to happen than now.

So, Wombat, what you are saying is that it's all our own fault if we can't afford to buy a house in a place that we would like to live in?

Are you saying that people should buy houses in places that they don't want to live in?

I’m not sure where the confusion comes from, £40k is very low for a combined income, of course you can’t afford a house. Why don’t you just say that, that will shut her up

our rent is 1200 a month for a 3 bed house

people like me made different choices. Of course it's hard, borderline impossible when you rent an expensive house. Most of us wouldn't have been able to.

So we chose cheap rent, or house share even, and only spending a few £100 a months bills included is how we saved.

It's not about right or wrong, or not eating avocadoes , it's simple maths. Add your rent, possible childcare and extra expenses... that's the difference.

I am bored of people playing martyr and pretending everybody else had it easy. You can't have it both ways.

*- live at home when first working if poss and save hard

• look to buy before having children - can buy small to start you off plus no childcare bills and more flexible working
• look to buy as part of couple of with a friend as 2 incomes make massive difference
• be financially wise. Boring choices like limiting holidays and purchases do mount up to thousands in savings each year
• if you reach 30 and can’t afford to buyin a couple or with friend, seriously consider moving to cheaper area even if you have to change career*

This is good advice. I also did the math how many kids I could have while still being able to buy a flat (1). My wedding was registry office. I didn't take a holiday for six years. I bought second hand clothes for 2 pounds a dress. These things do help a bit in terms of deposit but you need to start young and keep it up for some years. Also keep an open mind about using the bedroom for a future child and sleep on a sofa bed yourself. An extra bedroom is really costly.

hat you are saying is that it's all our own fault if we can't afford to buy a house in a place that we would like to live in?

most of us can't afford to buy a house in our dream place
Either you compromise and you take small step, or you just stay bitter about things. It's a choice 🤷

“Why will some people in Ops situation manage to buy and others not....even with kids and low paying jobs and previous health issues?”

@WombatChocolate because they received a hand out from parents somewhere down the line that’s why. I don’t know a single friend (i’m early 30s) who’s managed to save for a house without parents helping or dying to facilitate it!

I appreciate that it is very difficult if not impossible for young people now. However being of a similar age to you, I think your situation is maybe due to unfortunate circumstances as much as anything else. We had a joint income of £43k and bought a £170k flat with a 10% deposit. (Were able to borrow more 13 years ago than nowadays). Got a shit interest rate but continued to save and moved to a better mortgage rate a couple of years later.

I do sympathise with your situation but it's easy to think everyone else has it easy. Some do but lots don't.

Because I can’t afford a Porsche doesn’t mean I can’t afford a car.

Very often people mean they can’t afford a family house or a flat or whatever somewhere expensive like the south east or Oxford. Those are Porsche’s. The 2nd hand VWs are what you might be able to afford and while you keep looking at Porsche’s and other people who have them, you’ll be disappointed. So start saving the deposit for the 2nd hand vw by travelling by bus and accept the reality.

Agree with Eww if your combined income is 40k, and DH is the higher earner Then I assume you are NMW at £17k per year and he is on £23k.
There are very low paid jobs and you are choosing to live in a very expensive city.
If DHs job is uni. Related then there are literally hundreds of university towns where house prices are a fraction of those in Oxford and you could afford to buy a house, and you could get a different NMW job, some suggestions above but we can go much cheaper - Middlesbrough www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/Middlesbrough.html
£70 K For. 3 beds
Lincoln
www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-67349653.html

You may well end up being one of the lucky ones since house prices are possibly going to crash in a big way. Banks may be begging people to take mortgages etc soon so you never know, soon you can patronise them who have lost a load on their houses in this new crash!

I get it. I really do. We bought our first home 13 years ago right at the height of the property bubble (we agreed on the Monday, Northern Rock collapsed on the Tuesday). It was a 87k 3 bed flat in Manchester in a deprived area. When we bought again three years ago (in the same area now gentrified), we were lucky to get our home within budget (225k). If we had waited a few months we wouldn't have been able to afford it as the prices were rocketing. We bought in June for 225, a house a few doors up went for 235 in July and the one a few doors up went for 255 in August.
It's easy to be smug but the reality is that a lot has been down to luck and good timing. Our flat is now worth over 175k. Given that wages haven't increased in line with house price increases. There's no way we could afford our flat let alone our house especially as I'm now redundant due to Covid19.
It sucks and is absolutely unfair.

Of course it's much much harder, and more expensive to buy a house these days; I don't understand how your friend doesn't understand that, unless she's thick as a brick shit house.

I'm kicking myself for not having bought 35 years ago, when I could/should have bought a one bed flat in central London for 40K, like my friend did.

We all know the housing market is barmy and something should be done, but what can be done? There will always be people with more money who can gazump.

I do feel for you, OP, but as suggested above, move to a cheaper area is the only way we managed to buy a house rather than a tiny flat for the rest of our lives.

So everything in the garden's rosy (see what I did there)? It doesn't matter that society is so unequal that people are having such different life experiences? It's always been like this, and this is how it should be?

Don't think so.

Are we really at the point where people are so desperate to own, and unable to afford it, that they will spend years breaking their backs at 5 jobs and sleeping on a sofa, to get there? It shouldnt be that way.

It’s not that everyone who buys has a family handout. Lots still buy without it - perhaps less and less in the south east and expensive places, but it’s doable in many other places even for those with modest incomes. It really is.
The trouble is that people aren’t prepared to move. But if they don’t, many will never be able to buy. Fine, but they need to acknowledge there was a choice.

Just because you live in an expensive city or area for whatever reason doesn’t mean you must stay there or are entitled to or cheated somehow if you can’t. It’s just economic reality that you can only buy what you can afford. Luckily there’s lots of affordable in other places.