To think most property owners don’t understand how hard it now is to buy a house

[Boredfromboredshire]

DP and me earn 40k between us and our rent is 1200 a month for a 3 bed house. We don’t have rich relatives, we are in our early 40’s and circumstances (ill health) meant that we didn’t buy a house before. We can’t save a deposit & houses are expensive by us. We have stable jobs & our kids are happy so moving in the current uncertain time’s isn’t an option. Life has happened to us & some of it has been out it control.

Cue well meaning friend (who bought their house for peanuts) asking me why we couldn’t afford a house when we could get a house in a cheaper area for ‘only’ 400k. I’m so fed up of it. We really want a home of our own & we would move but in the current recession, it’s not a good idea to give up a job. And we can’t afford to save. My friend (whose deposit was 12k can’t understand it and looks on pityingly while telling me the house they bought for 120k is now worth 700k.

For many of us, the housing market is closed for ever. I’m so tired of the pity and the complete cluelessness- I quite often feel utter despair about it. It makes me feel such a failure for no real fault of our own. Some people were lucky because they happened to buy at a particular month in time & then some of us couldn’t & it’s over.

I don’t think people who own really understand what it’s like. Low interest rates, cheap mortgages, everything weighted in favour of owners while renters are treated like the Victorian poor.

Aibu to be sick of it. We are a normal family in normal jobs.

Also, keep an open mind about your commute. A 90 minute one way commute is doable, and could put you in a cheaper area.

I get it. We had to move out of London to buy a house. We were paying similar amount of rent for a 1 bed flat in zone 3. We could save a little bit no where near what we would need for a deposit. We moved to the North East. I'm not massively happy here tbh but I was genuinely concerned about not owning for retirement. I'm not massively obsessed with home ownership like many people but I can't imagine retirement with also needing to pay private rent.
Loads of people get help with a deposit, this is the big difference between being able to buy and not for most. We didn't get help and could definitely have afford more per month mortgage. But we didn't have the deposit to buy a more expensive house.

Yanbu

And I speak as a home owner, (mortgage payer) we were similar earners to you when we bought. but we were only able to buy through a massive stroke of luck medium size windfall

I rented for years and years, I hated it, I hated the insecurity and how expensive it was. Eventually I got a council house which was better Cos at least the rent was more affordable and stable. But I used to get so mad at the constant insensitive comments and how so many people looked down on me for "only" renting even my own damn family

It's fuckin bullshit op and it's so hard ...I hear you

I absolutely feel for you. It's a scandal that some people own more than one property and charge extortionate rents. Housing is a basic human need and when there isn't enough of it to go round, those people who were lucky enough to get on the property ladder early or be very financially fortunate should not be buying something they don't need that someone else does need, making it harder and harder for first time buyers.

I don't understand how any 'ordinary' person manages to buy in the South East tbh.

As for all those properties bought as investments and left empty; it makes me furious. So unfair.

Imagine if food was extremely expensive. Someone who already has food offers the seller more than the highest amount that anyone else can pay then makes the people without food buy it over a period of time for more money than they bought it for. It's that or starve. This is our housing market. Awful.

18 years ago we had a mortgage that was 4 times our joint income despite already having a child and being heavily pregnant... you can't do that anymore!

6 months later we couldn't have afforded our house as 2002 was the start of house prices really starting to climb again.

It is bloody ridiculous that the U.K. is basically socially engineering itself into an even worse north south divide. My partner and I did move from the south to the north because it was the only way we could afford to buy, but driving people on low incomes out of the south is not good for communities.

I actually found having a mortgage quite stressful and missed renting in some ways (we had a fantastic landlord), but we worried about being stuck renting into retirement.

It would be good if the U.K. had more secure long term rental properties like they do in Germany. That would solve a lot of problems.

It’s not about it being Rosy. I work in a very expensive town 30 miles away, we could probably just about afford a 2 bed semi there, compared to our 5 bed detached where we live. It is about having a large dose of realism as well, of course where I work is nicer all round, but I can’t afford to live there.

Yabu.
I’m a home owner but I understand as we’ve been there. I realise how lucky we are but it wasn’t handed to us. It was all saved ourselves.

Ah the just cut back brigade are here. Some people are so privileged they don't understand some people don't have any luxuries to cut back on. So suggesting to save money by not buying food in pubs or restaurants is stupid when many of us can't even afford to do it in the first place! Some of us add up every penny when doing the weekly shop ffs.

Just waiting for someone to say they had no family help but lived at home for years on end rent free whilst working full time!

Completely with you on this. Like you say, some people have no idea on affordability, especially in areas south of the midlands. There are baby boomers out there which have their detached 4 bed home they bought with one salary whilst having a pretty low/average paid local job. If you said could you in todays world buy your house doing the same job, it would be very unlikely. People suggesting move to a different area also do not get it. The whole of the south is ridiculous expensive, from the back of Londoners selling up and buying cheaper properties. Why should you have to move let’s say midland and above if you have all your family where you are? All it does is inflate the prices of houses where you move to aswell.
The only real fix is the government to give local authorities money and the green light to build mix tenure housing estates on a large scale like in the 60s. This will then move away from depending on the private sector for housing, which if they leave it as it is will never solve the problem as it will always limit supply. By the way, I’m a home owner, in the south which We bought 10 years ago, old ex council 3 bed semi.We can’t move up the ladder as we can’t borrow enough to move up the next step, I earn over 60k.

Okrightbut - you did what you needed to to make it work. Alternative would have been continuing to rent. Hard choices.

Some people are lucky and get an inheritance or gift that lets them buy in an expensive place. It’s hard if you live in one of those places and don’t have that luck and it can feel like everyone else does and make you bitter. But most people don’t get that lucky break and have to make the choices that fit their budget. Some I think are ‘make it happen’ people who are determined, make a plan of steps even if they are hard, and tread to path to the goal. Others are more defeatist - sorry if it’s not a nice word - but they can’t see the path to lead to the goal, or they can but they let obstacles prevent them from moving along it at every stage. And they stay renting and watch the homeowners around them gain equity and their landlords put up their rent and feel more and more bitter.

Moving can feel like a bitter pill. People keep saying you shouldn’t have to and the market is wrong.....but we live in this system and have to make our housing situation work for us and we often have to do hard things we would rather we didn’t.

Op, the sooner you prepare to move somewhere much cheaper than Oxford, the shorter the path to home ownership will be for you.

2 working, responsible adults, With reasonable credit should be able to buy a property in the town they were born in & lived in their entire lives. They shouldn’t have to move away from friends, family, jobs & everything they know just to get on the property ladder.

This is the problem. It’s so easy to say ‘move some where cheaper’ that in itself has so many obstacles & challenges.

As a previous poster said, every town, city, village need bin men, supermarket assistants, hairdressers, taxi drivers...
If they all moved to cheaper areas, there would be no one to do those jobs in expensive areas? & if Covid as taught us anything it’s that essential workers are often low paid workers.

I’m not saying they should be living in the best houses, in the best areas. But a modest home should be achievable for those workers in the place they live & work.

So you’d “only need 20k” to buy a house

Totally agree. It’s really difficult, me and DH are 30. Really struggling to save. Seems impossible. Years ago you didn’t even need a deposit. It’s frustrating. I feel for you, we still have time but it’s tedious work

@PerfidiousAlbion we never had any kind of help. We dont earn masses of money, and our earnings are based off owning a company which makes getting a mortgage harder.

We lived somewhere we didn't want to and saved saved saved, until we had a large enough deposit to keep our mortgage payments low and get a decent rate. Then we bought a cheap house with a chain in an area we'd rather not stay, with a commute so we could buy our house.

I really dont like the attitude towards home owners and business owners. Always the assumption that they've had a leg up or some massive cash gift. Even my own family who know damn well I've never had anything given, I've had to work for everything I have.

If you dont earn enough to buy in the area you want then you move to an area you can afford. That's just how it is. It may not be nice but you cant complain that you cant afford a house in an expensive area with an average job.

The housing market has produced winners and losers. I am similar age to you and managed to buy in my early twenties. I appreciate I am lucky, my house increased in value by 50% within two years.

But I also have friends who bought a few short years after me who found themselves in six figure negative equity.

Ignore all The stupid comments.

@WaterOffADucksCrack having 3 children won’t be a luxury DH and I can afford if house prices crash. But that’s fair isn’t it because homeowners = evil and renters = victims. It’s justified if we lose everything because we were privileged in the first place. It’s part chance but also part choice where we end up.

You need to move, and save costs that way. £40,000 combined income is not a lot, when rent is £1200.00.

Is some of your income PIP? Are you getting help with rent costs from DWP or local authority? That’s the only way I can see how you can pay such high rent.

I suspect those that think house prices in the south east and the whole system are disgusting and no-one should be ‘forced’ to move area to buy a house, are those who might be renting for some time.

There’s no right and wrong about it. Saying it’s a disgrace doesn’t help Op or people like her. Simply knowing that her salary isn’t high enough for prices in Oxford but would be high enough in other cheaper areas and that moving will enable both saving a deposit and buying a cheaper house, is the useful practical advice she needs.

She can take it or be on here on 20 years time saying she’s renting and can’t afford to retire ever as her rent in Oxford is so expensive. There’s still time to change things but in 20 years it might be too late.

Yes op I did read that which is why I know it's not easy but the point I was making was that no matter when in history, most people have had to make sacrifices to buy and in your situation, doing more was just not possible.

Just like for some people they either have children already or do not have the time to wait to not have them.

Some people can buy and have missed out on opportunities to buy a home. However it should not be homeowner vs renter. All homes should be somewhere people can live and enjoy and have a stable base, owned or not.

It's the government that pits people against each other like this, with decades of divisive anti renter policies that leave people feeling that they have no choice but to buy.

Prices then continue to rise no matter what, as the alternative to not owning is so much worse. Of course some people private rent happily and housing association homes are great especially as you can mostly treat them as your own. Its just a shame that more people don't have the stability and low rent of a housing association property or the stability of owning their own home.

But your op spoke about homeowners not understanding, where for many that I talk to, so many struggled and sacrificed to buy a home. Of course there will always be those who have a good income, family money or both. And you nd people who did not want to at that time in their life.

I think that for many, the 90s and 00s were a great time to buy a house, up to the Peak of 2006/2007 and before the crash of 2008. Since then it has been much harder to buy but still people do manage it. They scrimp and save as renting can be awful and far too expensive. Something needs to be done about private rent in this country but will that ever happen?

I hope you find a way forward op and even though I'm a homeowner, I do hope house prices do fall. Yes those who bought very recently will be on negative equity but that's only affects you if you want/need to sell.

Those who move will find their corresponding purchase will have also fallen in price, so overall the affect should not be too bad. My house and car are my only assets and even though I want to move, I recognise that prices do need to fall in some areas. Also I recognise, some places are stagnant and have been since 2008, it's a shame in these areas but may be the best thing overall for this country.

What would be better though, is if rental prices fall. I can't afford to rent. It is too expensive. I'm happy that I bought as right now I would be in homeless accommodation waiting for a council/housing association place. A wait of years, in some areas even with high priority and the rules around local connection make it very hard to move area, even following domestic violence which is what I did.

But please op, turn your ire and anger to the government and their policies and not homeowners. I do hope things change for the better for you.

I don't think it's a battle between "young ppl" and "older ppl" I think it's just timing. OP is older than me by at least 5 years and all of my peer group and even cousins younger than me have bought houses!! I think the clincher is that 90% of us bought before we had children!! Once you have dc it's harder to save, you need more space and your affordability rates decrease.

Also here in Ireland help to buy scheme is not limited to certain houses! You can literally use it on ANY house as long as it is your first house and you meet the criteria.

Is some of your income PIP? Are you getting help with rent costs from DWP or local authority? That’s the only way I can see how you can pay such high rent.

Many people are living on similar amounts. I pay similar mortgage with less income.

So the only way to buy a house is to save up for years by living off other people (parents), put off having children until you've both lost the urge, live a lonely, uncomfortable life and move to an area you don't want to live in.

And that's fair, is it?

I think one of the big things that makes a difference is having kids before buying a house. If you do it that way round you need to buy somewhere big enough for a family and pay out for childcare whilst trying to save for a deposit. That's really tough. The people i know all sitting pretty in houses they bought all lived in shitty shared houses as singletons or young couples and saved like crazy and bought their first place before having kids. It's much easier that way around. Most people with kids wouldn't put themselves in a situation of living in a room in a shared house when they could afford to rent somewhere else by sacrificing saving for a deposit.

It's not about different lifestyle choices. It's not about iPhones and avocados. Obviously, saving more is better than saving less. The fact anyone thinks it necessary to explain that to the OP and then complains about eye rolls... that says much more about the 'helpful' explainers that it does about the OP.

But it is about lifestyle choices. Maybe not phones and avocados no, but having children whilst in low paid jobs and before buying a house is a lifestyle choice. The OP says most property owners don’t understand how difficult it is to buy a house now but it’s never been easy to buy a house on a significantly below average income, in an expensive area, when you already have the expense of children and need more than a starter home.