Hyperemesis and Waters breaking at 14weeks +3 PPROM

[DyingfromHG]

Hi, this is my second pregnancy. I have had a pretty horrendous pregnancy thus far. Horrendous hyperemesis from 5weeks onwards, ( to the point I would wish for death) hospitalised numerous times due to severe dehydration. With my DS hyperemesis eased at around 16/17 weeks so getting to 14 weeks was amazing, thinking not long until I can start enjoying it. 13 week scan was great, then one day I woke up with severe pain in my lower back which spread to lower abdomin. Pain was so severe it felt like I was in labour. I brushed it off and thought it must be due to the fact I have been bed bound now for over 2 months, thought this back pain was bound to happen. DH spent all day and night massaging the spot until it became too sore to touch. In the morning I thought I have to phone the doctors. Drs arranged for me to go back to the hospital. By then I started bleeding heavily and burning with fever. Anyway long story short, hospital admitted me for observation. Around 15hrs later I had a massive gush whilst laying in bed, I had so much water come out it leaked for atleast half hour. A scan the next day confirmed no waters around the baby. Drs have been very grim and said prognosis is not good and that baby wont develop without amniotic fluid and many risks to myself and the baby due to high risk of infection.Basically only thing to do now is induce labour. Normally after waters break they expect you to go into labour with 72hrs. For me it has now been 10days since waters breaking. Iv been on antibiotics due to infection but they have now finished. Today I have been bleeding again. At my scan 2 days ago baby still had no waters around it. Has anyone experienced this?? Please share your story. I am so scared and dont know what to do. There are some success stories and alot of unsuccessful stories online

That is so so sad that the caring profession that we profess to be can get this so wrong. Are they allowing partners in with women during labour? If so I would be pushing that point. I can't for the life of me see what the difference is.

Our ladies in your situation are given a tablet to take at home they then come back to the unit the next day for the full procedure to be commenced until the labour is over.

When you are in the hospital they should offer you strong analgesia as required. Our ladies can opt for a PCA( patient controlled analgesia) which is self administered by the push of a button. It is intravenous so works quickly and is effective. Ask what your options are. You definitely do not need to be in great discomfort as sadly in your case they do not need to take your baby into consideration.

I am sending you a great big hug and will be thinking of you. Please let me know how you get on. X

How awful, where is the compassion.
NHS website states that women can have a birth partner providing they have no covid symptoms. It says time may be limited after the birth. It seems that they are minimising what you are going through.

I just wanted to say so so sorry for your loss. Try to allow yourself to grieve fully even if others around you want to move on and put it behind them.

I hope PALS get back to you soon, and hope the hospital goes ok (as well as it can in this situation). Thinking of you, I know it's the hardest time, the waiting.

@Thedogscollar - wonderful advice, thank you for being so caring, your patients are very lucky to have you.

I know your only 14 weeks. I had my waters break at 24 weeks, however there was still fluid around the baby, I was still leaking fluid constantly the whole time I was carrying. I was told to bed rest for the remainder of the pregnancy and was having weekly scans and tests to make sure baby was developing and so on, however a month after my waters broke I started to go into labour and ended up having an emergency section due to infection. The drs told me that my daughter would not survive being born that early and when she was born it was touch and go but she pulled through, she is now 10.
I was told that the hospital should not have let me carry on with the pregnancy due to the risk of infection with the sac being opened, and I did end up with an infection. This was my first and only pregnancy I have had due to the PTSD I got from it.

I am sorry you are going through this as I know what your going through. I don't really have any advice but didn't want to read and run.

I am so sorry for your loss.

@Thedogscollar @krispycreme @AlexTheLittleCat @Governoress86 @wouldthatbeworse

Thank you all for the messages and the support from some on here I will never forget.
Sorry I took so long to update. The past few weeks have been so very difficult!
I just couldn't get myself to do anything. Now I am a little better and feel ready to talk

They didnt allow DH to be there But it wasnt as bad as I thought it would be, it was alot quicker than I had anticipated. I ended up going in and staying the night before as bleeding had got quite heavy. In the morning they gave me the tablets to induce me and within 2 hours baby was here. They allowed dh to come in and sit with me for an hour after it was all over.

I waited until DH got to the hospital to see the baby. My precious angel was so perfect in every way!! We got to spend some time together before DH had to leave.
We took baby home with us

I was ok that day, managed to get through the day with only bouts of tears but the next day I was a complete mess! I spend hours and hours looking at the photos. I honestly thought I would drown in my sorrow the last 2 weeks..even dh struggled to understand why I was so upset. One minute i would be ok and next I was wailing uncontrollably.
I have never felt so alone the last few weeks, it has been horrendous and if anyone has gone through the same and feels the need to talk, I am here, please feel free to message me at anytime. I never thought it would affect me so badly.
Some days are ok and others arent. I am struggling today, tomorrow is suppose to be my 20week scan.

Anyway if anyone ever goes through the same and needs to talk I am here.. after my pprom i was so desperate to find someone who had been a similar situation.

Thank you all who helped me through this tough time with all your kindness xxx

❤️ thinking of you OP

Big unmumsnetty (((hugs))) OP.
So sorry you had to go through this...

Hello OP I've been thinking about you. I'm so sorry you are going through this. Please reach out to those that can help. The SANDS charity are excellent providing a listening ear and advice with other parents who have been through the same experience.

I am so glad you had time with your baby and had the opportunity to take them home with you. It is such a traumatic experience made even more difficult for you with the restrictions in place due to Covid. Please be kind to yourself talk to your husband let him know how you feel. Don't suppress your feelings it does you no good.

I hope you can begin to feel better over the next few weeks and months. It is a difficult journey and one day you will smile and laugh again. I am not saying you will ever forget your darling baby you won't but the pain will ease just give it time.

xxxxx

I am so sorry you had to go through this, I can't imagine what it's like for you. Big hugs ❤️

@Thedogscollar thank you so much. I feel blessed that you came across this thread and took the time to write to me. Your input throughout has been so helpful. Your patients are very lucky to have you!

@governoress86 thank you. I hope no one ever has to go through it. Xx

I'm so sorry you have had to go through this terrible suffering. The fact in the midst of your pain you are already thinking of how your experience will allow you to support others says everything about who you are as a person - a genuinely good heart.

I will remember your story and your baby. Please take care of yourself xxx

@Governoress86 sorry just looking through the thread. I'm so happy to hear that after everything, everything worked out for you and you have your precious 10year old! you were very brave going through it

@VeniceQueen2004 thank you so much. Your words mean alot and are so very kind.

Alot of people have told me to forget it happened and move on but I never want to forget my baby!! I looked on alot of miscarriage sites over the past few weeks when I struggled to cope, I looked for ways to remember my baby forever. The idea of a piece of jewellery that would remind me of the baby that I could always wear or keep seemed really nice.. has anyone on here done something similar or have any suggestions for me? Thanks xx

Hi OP. I'm so sorry for your loss. If you've still got any ashes/ then gave a look at the companies "milk diamonds' and "rejewelled". They work with breastmilk inclusions but also others

I am so sorry to hear about your loss. What has happened truly broke my heart and I wish I could give you a hug.

A member of my family had a stillborn. Every yes they celebrate the day she was born they call it Grace's Day. They also planted a tree in the garden to remember her by. The tree grows every year like she would have done. If you were worried about moving house in the future you could put a tree in a pot so it can be moved.

Remeber that little girl will always be in your heart and no one can take that away from you.

Be very kind to yourself- whatever you’re feeling is ok. Remember your hormones and body will take some time to recover, took me several weeks to feel physically ‘normal’. And do access support, you’ve been through a trauma and had poor care. Take each day as it comes. Xx

@Jokie thank you. I will look into that.
Unrelated to that but your suggestion of 'milk diamonds' reminded me.. one thing which I didnt hear anyone talk about or was ever mentioned to me was that I would lactate. Around 3 days after the whole thing. My milk came in.. it was so painful physically and mentally. Milk but no baby! I really felt myself slip deeper when it happened and I think because I wasnt warned it would happen it really affected me even more. So heads up to anyone who may experience a late miscarriage. Non of the midwives mentioned it to me.

@Sorocknroll thank you. Sounds like a lovely idea

Hi OP, I found your thread today and was really hoping for a different more positive outcome. I am so very sorry.

I lost my boy at 4.5 months. I had a low placenta which led to me bleeding and I went into labour. Drs and midwives weren’t able to explain it, they checked my cervix and did a scan when I was in the labour room and everything looked ok, cervix was closed. My baby lived long enough for us to say hi to him dress and cuddle him. He spent his entire life on my chest. We spent the night with him in the bereavement suite afterwards.

This was in February and I am still so broken. I am on maternity leave which I am grateful for as there is no way I am functioning well enough to go into the world. I had a mmc in August last year and although my husband was sad, he did not feel the depths of the pain as I did. This time however, it happened so fast and was so unexpected that we both struggled so much. The first few days after getting home we both lay in bed and sobbed for most of the day, the nights were riddled with anxiety. I had felt alone the year before with my pain so I understand what you mean when you say you feel lonely. Cry, sob, stare into space, stop contact with people, stay in bed - do whatever you want to do right now and the next few weeks.

I made the mistake of going for a walk a month after. I ended up sobbing in the middle of the park having to be consoled by my husband.

Please be kind to yourself and feel free to message me as I am still very much in the middle of it and will do what I can to help you if possible. X

If you would like to more about your baby, did you name your baby? Was it a boy or a girl? Then please do. We are here to listen. If you can’t then that is ok too.

Im sorry you’ve had ppl tell you to forget and move on. Traumatic experiences shape us more than the happy ones. Someone on Mumsnet told me something I’ll
Never forget:

He only ever knew my love, it was perfect and complete. A life is not measured by its length but by its quality. Your child knew the warmth and love of you it's entire life. It was very short, but very perfect.

As for jewellery, yes this is a great idea and somewhere you can keep your baby close to you. My husband got me a necklace with our sons name on it. It’s written so small you can barely make it out which I like. Happy to link it.

For my birthday I was given my sons birth stone. an amethyst ring by my siblings and an amethyst necklace my my husband.

For Father’s Day I got my husband a keyring with a print of our sons hand and foot print on it. If you have this, You can Send a picture of What you want and they can personalise a necklace /keyring etc. We’ve done other things too like a book where our families have written to our son in it, something we’ll read each year ok fathers and Mother’s Day.

I’m sure you will find your way with things or ways in which you want to celebrate and remember your lovely baby.

@DyingfromHG I've only just seen this, I hope are as ok as you can be and continuing to heal. It is a long journey, and only you can determine the pace. Please don't listen to the people who tell you just to move on. You have been through a huge trauma and if it comforting to remember your baby, you should. A piece of jewellery sounds like a lovely idea. Mine were a lot earlier but I sometimes wonder how some of people who expect you just to move on would cope in the same situation. It takes time to recover and it can't be rushed. I would second contacting SANDS for support.

Sending

@Greentrees33 I'm so sorry for the loss of your baby. I hope you and @DyingfromHG are able to support each other though this difficult time.