Hyperemesis and Waters breaking at 14weeks +3 PPROM

[DyingfromHG]

Hi, this is my second pregnancy. I have had a pretty horrendous pregnancy thus far. Horrendous hyperemesis from 5weeks onwards, ( to the point I would wish for death) hospitalised numerous times due to severe dehydration. With my DS hyperemesis eased at around 16/17 weeks so getting to 14 weeks was amazing, thinking not long until I can start enjoying it. 13 week scan was great, then one day I woke up with severe pain in my lower back which spread to lower abdomin. Pain was so severe it felt like I was in labour. I brushed it off and thought it must be due to the fact I have been bed bound now for over 2 months, thought this back pain was bound to happen. DH spent all day and night massaging the spot until it became too sore to touch. In the morning I thought I have to phone the doctors. Drs arranged for me to go back to the hospital. By then I started bleeding heavily and burning with fever. Anyway long story short, hospital admitted me for observation. Around 15hrs later I had a massive gush whilst laying in bed, I had so much water come out it leaked for atleast half hour. A scan the next day confirmed no waters around the baby. Drs have been very grim and said prognosis is not good and that baby wont develop without amniotic fluid and many risks to myself and the baby due to high risk of infection.Basically only thing to do now is induce labour. Normally after waters break they expect you to go into labour with 72hrs. For me it has now been 10days since waters breaking. Iv been on antibiotics due to infection but they have now finished. Today I have been bleeding again. At my scan 2 days ago baby still had no waters around it. Has anyone experienced this?? Please share your story. I am so scared and dont know what to do. There are some success stories and alot of unsuccessful stories online

I really have no advice for you and I'm so sorry but I am just hoping all is OK and so sorry that you have to go through this xxx

Hi OP just seen your update. Yes I am a midwife I'm on my break. You should 100% have your husband with you please don't let them say you can't. You need each other at this time.

The process will be a labour hopefully of a shorter duration than a full term baby. You should be offered strong painkillers as required. At our unit we do a memory box foot and hand prints where possible and photographs.

I just don't want this process to be any more difficult for you than it already is. You will always have your memories of your little one and they will always be part of your family.

Please let me know how you get on sending you a big virtual hug

So terribly sorry you're going through this. Please remember that this is not your fault, you're left to deal with a very hard situation and whatever choice you make, no one can blame you for any of it.

That doctor sounds insensitive, is it possible that he may be trying to make you feel less pain and guilt by suggesting this is miscarriage rather than labour ? Not appropriate in any way but it may be an attempt at kindness rather than callousness.

For what it's worth, I think ending the pregnancy would be the right thing to do. It sounds like there is very little chance of the outcome being a happy one, and it will be harder with every passing day.

I know it can be hard to know your own mind in such circumstances, but remember you are not giving up on your baby, you are just ending an unsustainable situation.

That said if you decide to continue remember you deserve all the help and support doctors can give you, so don't let them fob you off.

Regarding your DH it is very reasonable to want him there, especially as déconfinement is probably not that far off and these are extreme circumstances. If they're that worried they can swab and test him.

Hi OP, just posted on your other thread before I saw this one on AIBU, I’m glad to see you’ve got lots of good advice and support. I’d second @Thedogscollar - saying your husband can’t be there is outrageous, please try to find the strength to kick up a fuss about this, there’s no time you’ll need him more. The doctor is right that it’s usually a shorter, different process than a full term labour - but you need the support for this so so much. You’re likely to have good care by a specialist nurse or midwife and she should be able to tell you about arranging keepsakes, and also about support services and counselling available afterward. X

OP, I had a medical management at neatly 15 weeks.
I know you're a couple of weeks ahead of that but I had to do this alone as well.

I felt no pain or contractions because I was up to my eyeballs on pain medication. I was adamant I didn't want to feel pain. I couldn't cope with that.
I also opted to take the baby home with me and I had him cremated privately so I could
keep his ashes or choose what to do with him.
I'm sorry you're having to go through this, how absolutely harrowing for you.

There’s a specialist hyperemesis counsellor who understands and knows a lot about trauma and grief-Michelle Nicholson, google her. What you’re experiencing is a trauma and absolutely your husband should be with you for support. I’m so sorry you’re having to go through this and it’s angering you’re having to fight for the care you need.

Hi all, thank you very much for all the messages. Really appreciate it. I have been away, not feeling too good as I have some sort of infection atm and on antibiotics. DH and I have decided we will go ahead and get induced as putting myself at so much risk is just not worth it. I am really struggling to get my head around it. @Thedogscollar I decided to call the antenatal clinic to see if i can get my care changed from the gyne unit as they are only suppose to be dealing with 13weeks and under but the lady told me that because gyne have already been managing me (for hyperemesis and then the pprom) they would be the ones to continue with it. I am so gutted because the gyne unit is nowhere near as sensitive to these situations as the maternity ward would be and gyne have refused to allow DH to be there. I just dont know what else I can do.
I have also called my dr told to ask for some counselling as I am really struggling to get my emotions and thoughts together.

Hi OP. I've been thinking about you. I'm glad you and your husband have been able to come to a decision on how to deal with what is happening.

I am really saddened that you cannot be seen by maternity services as we had a lady in the other week same gestation as you slightly different circumstances.

I would ask to speak to your consultant, should be same for gynae and obstetrics, to discuss the obvious need and for your mental health that your husband is with you whilst you are in hospital.

The hospital staff caring for you should provide you and your husband with access to councelling. We have bereavement midwives and provide info on SANDS and other support groups. You should be given time to talk and discuss your feelings for as long as you both feel you need to.

I wish you all the best in these very difficult circumstances. Communicate with your partner, talk to each other, cry with each other just be there for each other.

Hi X

Have you looked up little heartbeats.

They are a non profit that provides advice and support for when your waters break early.

There saying is where there's a heartbeat there's hope.

I know they have supported woman whose waters have gone at similar points to your and have still gone onto deliver babies at 30 weeks x

Please contact them

@thedogscollar I will definitely do that. Your place sounds amazing. I wish all places could be like that. I have another scan booked for Thursday and that's at the womens unit. We haven't booked in for the inducement yet as I'm so put off as DH wont be there, I do need to get it done asap. The nurses and drs at the womens unit are far more empathetic and I'm wondering if i should wait until my appointment and ask them about switching my care.
Have they been allowing partners in at your place?

@the1ring hi, thank you for the advice. I have been on the website and it was there that myself and DH managed to get some hope and wanted to continue with this but at this point after MUCH deliberation we have decided that the risks are far too great for us. I am already prone to infection due to another health problem and I currently have another infection, (last one being 2 weeks ago when water broke) so we are now thinking even if we do manage to continue and get further along we are probably looking at many more bouts of infections that could potentially turn life threatening at any time.
It's not a decision I've come to easily and still wonder if it's the right thing but I know I cant risk it as I already have a DC who needs me

I’m so sorry you are in this situation.

I advise that you contact PALS and request that they liaise with the Director of Midwifery to have your care transferred to the midwives. They will care for you as a family, have specialists to assist and support you and have the facilities to give you proper pain relief if you need it and OF COURSE your husband must be with you.

I cannot believe you have been told otherwise. PALS are usually quite speedy but do emphasise this is an emergency situation and feel free to copy in the hospital CEO.

Very best wishes to you.

Hello,

Just want to say that Little Heartbeats support women daily through pprom

Bleeding is normal in a pprom pregnancy

And as long as your bloods are not going sky high and your temperature is normal there is no reason why you have to induce unless you want to

But based on what I read through the messages,

It is very possible that a baby can survive pprom with little to no fluids

Please look up the pprom groups on Facebook before making life changing decisions because I hate for you to find these after you said goodbye to your baby

If you let them know which area you are in, there are far better medical staff than what you had up to date

There is a big community online and their is lots of babies surviving with little to no fluids

The data they have is out dated

Best advise I would say is look up little Heartbeats read the hundreds of stories watch their latest pprom video where they found more surviving babies than loss babies

I would hate for you to have to say goodbye and then find out afterwards that there is a community out there
Hope it helps

Sending lots of love to you and please know it is not as rare as some make out

@MatildaTheCat thank you very much, I'm am feeling so desperate and stuck now with the whole situation of doing this alone. Youve given me some hope. I've never heard of PALS but I will do a quick google search now xx

Its just so hard to be doing this right now, having to ring around and beg for DH to be able to support me

All hospitals have a PALs service and they are usually good. If you go onto the hospital website you should see their details. If you don’t have the strength to fight perhaps yourbDH could get onto this.

I’m really horrified at what has been suggested and that your DH hasn’t been able to be a part of any of these conversations. That’s wrong and needs sorting out very quickly.

Feel free to ask if you need any other suggestions.

@enigma25 I know are you being a love and being helpful but I'm feeling so confused again
The things you have said is exactly why I have been hoping and waiting, I don't want to regret having given up on my baby
All these days I have been so full of hope but now as I'm starting to feel unwell I have tried to put things into perspective.
I will definitely contact little heartbeats as alot have suggested them and see if they can offer any advice regarding care. Thank you xxx

@MatildaTheCat cant express how grateful I am for your advice thank you so much. I will be doing that asap.
Another mummy on this thread has said she had a medical procedure at 15weeks and had to go through it alone too so I have been feeling rather deflated since then

Hi OP yes if we have ladies in our bereavement suite then the partners are with them. It is a completely separate set of rooms off the ward. We obviously have to wear the standard PPE as we are with all our ladies at the moment.
As previously suggested contact the head of midwifery at your hospital plus PALS. You should not have to go through this alone. You have rights make sure they are heard.

I'v been thinking about you as well op. I still can't believe that on top of everything you are going through you have to worry about your DH not being there, it's utterly ridiculous. If you don't get anywhere with PALS have a little look at your hospital guidelines for labour and delivery during covid, I'm sure it will state that a birth partner is allowed.

@enigma25 why would you say that? Do you not think OP is going through a hard enough time already without you telling her she might regret it after?? Absolutely disgusting of you.

OP, you said you already have an infection. Is there further risk to YOU if you carry on with the pregnancy? Believe me, I know what you're going through right now but, for me, it was the right thing for me to do for my own body and for the children I already had at home x

I had a traumatic miscarriage at 14.5 weeks. I had pains (not as strong as full blown labour but still bad) and miscarried the baby. I won't go into full details so as not to upset anyone but it was traumatic. I had to get blue lighted to hospital on my own. My husband had to stay at home with our 1 Yr old. I had to have an operation under general as my womb had filled with blood clots. I was on my own but the consultant and nurses who looked after me were amazing, very, very compassionate and very respectful that I had just lost a baby. I didn't get any counselling or anything afterwards and I really wished I had. So push for your husband to be there, get as much help as you can and do not let them treat it is nothing. It is trauma, not just what you will have to endure but what you already have. People should not be working in that area if they can't offer compassion.

I'm so sorry for your situation, it is heart breaking. Push for your husband to be with you, I had medical management several times for earlier term miscarriages than 16 weeks and my partner was always able to be there. Also, ask for proper pain relief, they always gave me paracetamol first and it wasn't enough. Afterwards, look after yourself and give yourself time to recover and grieve, as much time as you need.

@thedogscollar I cant Express how helpful you have been. Thank you so much x

@sparepantsandtoothbrush. I'm so sorry to hear you had to go through the same thing. Hugs to you! I hope you are ok now..
Yes I started getting bad pains and a temperature about 3 days ago, DH forced me to the drs as in this situation I am at high risk of sepsis and other serious infections,drs given me antibiotics for a week. I'm not going to lie, I'm terrified of getting a serious infection and would've arranged the inducement today but I'm so scared of going through it alone I keep putting it off (i know it's very reckless of me)

@krispycreme thank you, I appreciate it.

@merryhobnobs, I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope you are doing ok now, I know it mustve been a horrific thing to go through. 😔

Im so sorry. Something very similar happened to me with my twin pregnancy though I didn't realise my waters had broken until my 20 week scan. I held on until 27 weeks and suddenly went into labour when I got an infection... Sadly both my babies died. I was on the Little Heartbeats page and there is support there from others who have been through this, including parents whose babies have survived.
I found it very confusing having hope but also having none, the doctors essentially told me there was little to no hope, though as my pregnancy progressed and the babies grew they did start to talk in a slightly more hopeful way. But sadly it wasn't ok for us.
I remember how awful this time was after we realised the pregnancy had gone wrong and having those very very somber conversations with different consultants. It is absolutely horrific and I'm so sorry you are going through this. It might be worth reading a bit more about PPROM and looking up Little Heartbeats, though I also don't want to give you any false hope as I learned the hard way how devastating that can be. It seems to be such a lottery about what the outcome might be, based on fluid levels, gestation of waters breaking etc.
I'm just so sorry that this is happening to you and am sending you much strength over the coming days and weeks x