To feel my employer are suddenly discriminating because I have a young child?

[Tayo23]

I work for a government dpt where it is not usually commonplace to be able to work from home. On 19th/20th March when the schools closed, I was asked in work if this would impact me in regards to childcare - it does, and I was offered a laptop to work from home which I gratefully took.

At this point all my colleagues (except for a minority shielding or in similar positions) remained in the office every day as there were a lack of laptops for them - it was BAU. I worked remotely from home, with colleagues in the office uploading my (and other remote workers) work. A week later my office closed (a non-critical govt dpt) however I have continued to work from home since then although my colleagues without laptops were not working at all. My partner was furloughed a week or so after my office closed so has been a great help keeping 4yo entertained.

At the end of April my office advised those without laptops must return to the office one day a week on a rota basis to upload, (to maintain social distancing). I was not asked because it was understood I was working from home. Last week they provided everyone in my office (around 80 people) with laptops. I have now been told that because everyone else now has a laptop, I am now too required to work one day a week in the office, and spend the rest of the week working from home.

My partner returns to work next week. I now am in same position as end of March before lockdown re childcare. They are allowing me to take special leave for the one day a week I can’t come into the office, for 4 weeks. After then I have to use annual leave. I have repeatedly stressed I am willing to continue working each day from home. I just simply cannot leave my child at home alone. My partner is unable to get paid leave off and we would struggle without his pay.

AIBU to feel this way, they understood initially and accommodated me which I was extremely grateful for. I have worked each day whilst my colleagues barely have done until now, but now they too have the facilities to work from home, the goalposts have been moved.

I am not happy being told when to take AL when I have not asked for any time off. Do I have a leg to stand on here if I take this higher than my own line manager (who robotically regurgitates things without much compassion or consideration for people’s individual circumstances)

I’m self employed and yet am not entitled to any help. You have a job and have received an income so be thankful. You or your partner will have to take a days leave

It sounds as if your employer's have been very accomodating, why do you feel they are discriminating against you?
They allowed you to work from home when your colleagues were still required to go into the office. Your post reads as if you feel you are owed something because you continued working when you colleagues were furloughed but unless they were furloughed on full pay you were better off. They have given you four days special leave to cover the first month you would have been required to go into the office, is that paid leave? And you will continue to work from home for the remaining 4 days even though you will also now be looking after your child.
If the situation continues beyond the four weeks, where you have arrangements in place, then you will have to try to share the load with your partner. I don't think you now need to carry it alone because he looked after your child whilst he was furloughed, surely that was the best arrangement and enabled you to continue working and earning full pay.

Agree with @Heartlake - use your annual leave (or DPs). That is what it’s for. Your child is your responsibility.

"And since she and the rest of the office can work from home, by asking people to go in they are breaking guidelines"

That's not quite true - on part (uploading across an airgap, fsunfpd of it) has tombe done in the office. People go in to do that task. When some people were still working in the office, they did it because they were in anyhow. Now that everyone is WFH there is a rota, which includes everyone, so that the one task which cannot be done from home is covered.

It s, unfortunately for OP, entirely reasonable on the part of the employer.

So, together with DH, they need to find solution for this. Use his and your leave in the short term. What childcare are you using so you can work properly at home, or is that essentially unsolved since end of DH's furlough too?

sorry OP this is so shit. They are saying you must come in with no childcare.

Can't believe the "reasonable" responses on here. We should be rioting in the fucking streets.

This government has hung us out to dry, comprehensively. By making everything a "consumer choice" it has pushed the responsibility for all vulnerable people in society onto us as individuals.

Oh, hey, you can return to work "if you want"! Opens the door for employers to demand we all come back. "Oh, hey, the schools can open, send them if you want, but we won't provide any up to date transmission data in schools so you can't calculate risk - but it's still UP TO YOU, NOT OUR PROBLEM!! Bye!" Forces us to put our children at risk or leave the workforce.

This is not just OP not wanting to use her leave!!

Man the barricades, I say.

And since she and the rest of the office can work from home, by asking people to go in they are breaking guidelines

Well quite obviously they can't do everything from home as they need to be in the office to upload stuff...

It doesn't make any sense for the employer to force OP to take AL.

Either the work needs doing or it doesn't. By forcing OP to take AL rather than perform that specific work on that specific day, they are signalling that the work does not in fact need to be done by OP at all. It doesn't sound legal.

Crazy.

I think there needs to be a bit of give and take with your husband. It sounds like you are being made responsible for childcare and the onus is on your employer to make all the allowances but there is no onus at all on your husbands employer. If I were you I would get you husband to request the odd days leave and go in occasionally.

The suggestion of a day "swaps" with another employee is the most equitable solution.

Common sense is lacking seems like.

It's probably different in the public sector.
But increasingly in the private sector people are being told to get back to work,or take unpaid leave ,or quit.

It isn't different in the public sector. Prior to coronavirus we (a very large public sector organisation) had a strict rule - you could work from home if your manager approved it, but absolutely no care for a dependant could happen at the same time. It was permission to work from home, not to do something else and try to juggle that with working. Over the past weeks that policy has remained in place but managers have been slightly more flexible about it because of peoples situations. But we are now going back to observing the rule. You can' work from home and provide childcare and do both safely or effectively. We allowed for some flexibility to get people through an immediate crisis, but work has suffered. I don't care what anyone says, the productivity of parents in my team has definitely suffered - and this is a highly motivated bunch of people who have worked really hard to manage their work. But I can see the toll it is taking on the work. And I can also see the toll it is taking on the mothers. Funny, men don't seem to think that it's equally their responsibility even in these "enlightened days".

As of 1st June we will be reverting to "no juggling" as well - people may be working from home still but they must not be the primary carer for another person at the same time. They will have to take leave - either annual leave or unpaid leave - to manage their caring responsibilities. Men and women. And the relative amounts that each one earns has no relevance to our interpretation of the rule.

They are saying you must come in with no childcare

No, they have allowed OP to work from home since the beginning whilst her colleagues were still going into the office, have now offered her 4 further weeks with one paid day off so she doesn't have to come into the office and are allowing her to use leave to cover any remaining time.

Of course it's reasonable. You can't expect employers to accommodate (on full pay) childcare issues forever. They need people in the office, if OP can't do that then they have offered solutions.

And I can't believe that OP is the only one in an office of 80 with a child.

It doesn't sound legal

It may not sound fair but I believe it's perfectly legal for your employer to 'force' you to take annual leave at a certain time providing they give notice.

Nurseries will open to all children on 1st June so you'll only have to take a couple of days annual leave then you'll be able to use nursery.

They could use a rota system for uploads , they could sort their IT out, or they could ask younger none vulnerable people if any would volunteer...I bet in an office of 80 there will be a number who should be supported to stay a home due to medical conditions

or they could ask younger none vulnerable people if any would volunteer

OP isn't in a vulnerable category just because she has a child. As per PPs have pointed out, nurseries are supposed to be opening soon so realistically it should only be a few days.

If nurseries are open especially then I don't think it's unreasonable for employers to expect parents to use them so that they can do their jobs properly, which in OPs case is going into the office one day a week on a rota with the rest of her colleagues.

I think they are being reasonable. It’s normal to be asked to use annual leave to cover domestic situations and the company can make you have leave whenever they choose. That’s normal too. When my DC were young I had to use all my leave in a year this way for hospital visits.

Moondust001 - As of 1st June we will be reverting to "no juggling" as well - people may be working from home still but they must not be the primary carer for another person at the same time.

Curious - how are you going to enforce this?

I can't believe some of the responses here. Yes in normal times childcare is the parents responsibility
, but in normal times OP has a nursery and a GM. A poster said contact your nursery to see when they are open again - I think that's your best option - hope they are opening soon.

It seems bonkers that your manager is forcing you in when as you say there are others who would be happy to go into the office. I have a self sufficient DS 14 and DH working from home - I'd bite your hand off for a chance to work in the office.

It isn't discrimination
Just use your special then annual leave until the school reopens

I don't see why people think that all of the compromise should be done by the employer or other colleagues. It's really not a huge ask after all the accomodating that's been done previously, that OP take what is likely to be a few days annual leave until nurseries reopen.

Nurseries and childminders here are opening on the 1st. My DD goes back to the childminder on reduced hours as she has reduced her numbers. I would contact your nursery and if they are not planning to open, ask what their plans are. If they don’t have any plans to open (and if you are in England, I would be surprised as most seem to have a plan even if it is working with another setting.) Then phone/email round nurseries and childminders and find out who is open and whether they have space. If after that you don’t have any luck with childcare, then go back to your manager explain, and it should only be until September again if you are in England as your DS will be at school, but come up with a solution that allows you to be in the office at some points e.g. half a day a week because you go in really early do hours and go home then allowing your husband to go to work - if that would work for him.

It’s a crappy situation but I think if they’re willing to let you take AL One day a week To buy yourself out of this toys that’s the solution. Presumably you’ve had you holiday plans cancelled anyway do one week off translates to another five weeks out of the rota on top of the four you have, that takes you to the end of July.

I think your Dp needs to ask for time off to look after your dc.
This is why women get the worse deal, as they seem to always be the default parent no matter what there job is.
Your DP needs to tell your employer that you are doing 4 days and he needs to do one day even if it means using annual leave.
Fwiw my department have been told/asked to use annual leave now during lock down as it will be severely restricted once lockdown is lifted.

Agree your DP should also be taking AL though if your DS is his child.

I’m confused. What are they expecting you to do then? You literally have no where to send your child... it isn’t your choice not to send them to school or nursery (can’t remember which it is).