Who is right, me or DH?

[WhoKnew19]

So today, the weather has been absolutely glorious and I have been working from home with both kids now for what feels like forever. I have one DC who is delighted with the situation, and the other who is miserable as sin, misses friends, grandparents, going out etc.

The dispute between me and DH has arisen because I have let the DCs off their school work for the day so that they could enjoy the weather and play together in the paddling pool. They have done work every single day since school closed and have been trying really hard. My reasoning was that we don't often get weather like this, things are a bit shit at the moment and they deserve to have some fun.

Since he got home from work (critical worker and so has been out of the house every day as normal), DH has been fuming with me for letting the kids have a day off. His view is that it was a 'school' day, and they should have been working. The older one has got year 7 assessments after half term and he should have been working/revising.

I don't think IABU, but am doubting myself. Views?

You’re right.

I think your husband is being absolutely ridiculous. Everyone needs a day off sometimes. Does he really think one day is going to torpedo their education for the rest of their lives? He's being absurd.

You’re right. I did exactly the same thing today.

Well done you for being spontaneous and seizing the moment! You’re in charge, your decision and it won’t ruin their lives. Shame he can’t see that.

You are right.

You’re right, and your DH might be one of those people who make their own lives (and those of those around them) difficult and joyless for no reason. His judgement is not good.

How can you even live with someone like this? Even teachers are saying prioritise the kids well being in these difficult times.

Love being single sometimes, today me and DD sacked off work/school and went out for the day without having to ask permission from anyone

You are right. Working every single day is really something.

He is right. It's not a holiday.

I think you did the right thing, a break on a nice day to have fun and blow off steam wont do their education any harm, and their mental health all the good.

You're right. He's just pissed off because he was stuck in work.

You’re right one day isn’t going to harm their education and it won’t of done either of them any harm.

He's not the one who has to sit home all day and oversee all this? Not his call. Not if you've been supporting them studying all along and decided they get a day off. It's not like you just can't be bothered.

Thank you! Feeling slightly better having seen your responses. The atmosphere is still toxic and I think I am going to take myself to bed with a book. He is being an arse. One day is not the end of the world!

You're right. Life isn't about nose to the grindstone working. They'll be emotionally better today for what you did.

Tell him he can choose to do school work with them when he gets back from work/weekend...i,e on his time and under his direct supervision whilst he also gets on with chores....... he'll be singing a different tune then!

You’re right. There is more to life than the really very narrow education provided by school work.

Also, why is he acting like he’s your boss? Fuming? Toxic atmosphere? Tell him to get over himself! Seriously.

He’s not doing the hard work of supervising learning and keeping everyone engaged and happy, so it’s not his call.

They can make up for lost time with a few lessons over the weekend, if need be. Or an hour extra here and there tacked onto the end of normal school-days.

One day won't make a difference. Sounds like he's just in a grumpy mood.

Yes, it would be interesting to see him working and supervising the school work as I have been trying to do, grrrr! He has just made me a conciliatory cup of tea, he is still an arse though!

it's half term next week isn't it? YANBU unless they were live zoom lessons and their absence was missed.

Our school are having 'mindful Wednesday's from this week. No work set. Teachers send out ideas for things to do with kids to relax and ask kids to stay off screen for the day

Does he not understand that you're working, like he is, so the time you can spend with them is limited anyway?

I think you say hes right and from now on he can take a much more active role in their education since you're failing so miserably in giving them one day off in 7 weeks. They can have their 2 days off a week on one of the weekdays and he can do 2 out of the 5 days of schoolwork on the weekends or his days off.

I think his whole attitude stinks to be honest. It's not like you kept them off school- doing work at home isnt the same. And you're the one thats got the day in day out responsibility and you made a decision. He can calmly say he wouldnt have made the same one, but what is going off on one and having a sulk going to achieve? Why is he having a go at you after the fact after he has made his feelings clear? Why does he think he gets the final say??

Call it an inset day?

He wouldn't be impressed with my teaching methods op!
It was a lovely day.....we enjoy those days as we could well be stuck in for weeks once the weather breaks.

There is no need to make up lessons over the weekend, nor do they need to tack extra hours on.

Just pick up where you left off.

He needs to sort himself out, btw. Freaking out like that about one day off to relax and enjoy the sunshine is ridiculous; he’s likely to put them off learning and giving them all kinds of negative associations if he keeps going like this.