Who is right, me or DH?

[WhoKnew19]

So today, the weather has been absolutely glorious and I have been working from home with both kids now for what feels like forever. I have one DC who is delighted with the situation, and the other who is miserable as sin, misses friends, grandparents, going out etc.

The dispute between me and DH has arisen because I have let the DCs off their school work for the day so that they could enjoy the weather and play together in the paddling pool. They have done work every single day since school closed and have been trying really hard. My reasoning was that we don't often get weather like this, things are a bit shit at the moment and they deserve to have some fun.

Since he got home from work (critical worker and so has been out of the house every day as normal), DH has been fuming with me for letting the kids have a day off. His view is that it was a 'school' day, and they should have been working. The older one has got year 7 assessments after half term and he should have been working/revising.

I don't think IABU, but am doubting myself. Views?

He wants his own children to be as miserable as he is. What an ambition.

It’s really not a big deal, and of course you haven’t made a rod for your own back. There’s always one who has ridiculous notions like that. 🙄 Next time it’s sunny, if they expect the whole day off you’ll just tell them no, but once their work is done they can play out for as long as they like, and that will be that; no harm done whatsoever.

They wouldn't have had full lessons every single day in a normal term, they'd have had a school trip or sports day or play rehearsals, an afternoon playing rounders.

Of course yanbu.

Your DC's mental health is really important at the moment. This was a spontaneous diversion that they will probably remember in all this grimness.

In fairness to your DH, everyone is stressed at the moment (unless this is a pattern of longstanding controlling behaviour), and some people cling to the concept of routine for grounding.

Enjoy your cup of conciliatory tea.

YANBU
Sometimes when people get anxious, they can't handle any deviation from the expected. I can get that way sometimes . Working on it!

You are CEO of household and made a good call!

My son is 14 and I NEVER let him off school. I mean I'm one of THOSE mums, however I let him off school today. He's been so good and committed to work since lockdown.

He's literally just turned to me and said "thank you for today. I've had the best day ever".

It's fine as long as you won't complain when your child gets lower results than others in the Yr7 assessments and consequently gets put into a lower set next year than those who didn't opt out of a day's education.

Must admit, I'm a little torn.

I did exactly the same thing today, but reading this thread makes me wonder - if the kids were in school, would I have kept them home for the day because the sun is shining and life's too short? No I wouldn't have.

Fuming and ranting are never OK though.

they're demonstrating how to achieve a healthy work/life balance

does he have anything useful to proactively contribute?

Jesus your DH would be horrified at my home school schedule! It seems to fall totally by the wayside if sun is out!!!

I let a child off school work today to binge watch a series as it expires tomorrow, so no obviously YANBU

Dude, didn't he know? It was an inset day!

YANBU. Lots of children were taken to the beach today.

I think on a hot day like this at school they would have struggled to learn.

“Must admit, I'm a little torn.

I did exactly the same thing today, but reading this thread makes me wonder - if the kids were in school, would I have kept them home for the day because the sun is shining and life's too short? No I wouldn't have.”

But they aren’t in school, disquieted. That’s the whole point. We are in lockdown. These are not normal times and we need to consider mental health more carefully than usual. This entire post is about making exceptions in a healthy way.

One day off in year 7 and below isn't going to destine them to failing all their GCSEs.

Lockdown is stressful for us all. I'm working from home and my employer actively told us to try and take regular short breaks to sit outside and get some sun on a beautiful day. I'm spending 5 mins on my balcony right now!

Time spent outdoors is beneficial to mental and physical wellbeing. You've done nothing wrong OP, sounds like you all had a lovely relaxing day and I'm sure it's done you all the world of good.

You are both right, but I feel like he is in the wrong for the way he has approached it?

I let my LO have the afternoon off yesterday to play outside in the sandpit. She’s been brill at her work this week. But I know schooling is important, she can catch up. Don’t beat yourself up over it, I’m sure the efforts that your DC have gone through your OH will realise they are absolutely fine and deserve some time off!

This is one of the benefits of homeschooling even in normal times. When the weather is rubbish at the weekend or during the half term, they can make the day up. I homeschooled my two for a while many moons ago and we used to do all sorts during the normal work week because we could. Holidays are cheaper too.