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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not do any schoolwork with DC at all?

176 replies

HomeSchoolingDodger · 19/05/2020 21:13

NC as I expect to be completely castigated!

DC is in Yr5, above average in terms of reading, spelling and maths. Just had another excellent school report again. Not behind at all.

School have been posting weekly activities for DC in each year group to do on their website with a small project each week. Work is not handed in but DC ‘can’ bring some of the work into school after lockdown so teacher can look through it.

DC did a bit in the first few weeks but quickly lost interest as he needs class stimulation really and didn’t see the point in doing it if it doesn’t need to be handed in each week and tbh I can’t be arsed to chase him!

I am planning to start getting him into ‘school mode’ on the last few weeks before school goes back by completing all the work set then so we have a timescale and motivation to complete it

AIBU?

He is currently learning a lot from Animal Crossing, which involves setting up home, debts, loans, so he tells me Hmm. We also do a daily bike ride or walk, he helps me cook, looks after loads of seedlings we’ve planted for veg, reads, plays Articulate, Monopoly and Mexican dominoes with us.

OP posts:
june2007 · 19/05/2020 21:17

To do nothing for so long will not be good. I have just stepped up the work, we have been doing what school as set. Some of it he gets feedback on such as mymaths. Now we have set a time table. Use BBC bitesize and do the on line sessons, they follow the curiculum. Twinkle has a lot of resources for free at the mo. (Not the easiest site to use.)

peanutsandcream · 19/05/2020 21:18

Ynbu. My ds has to hand his work in or send photos of it. So he has the motivation to do it. I think what you are doing is ok.

BigBairyHollocks · 19/05/2020 21:20

Just cover the basics, I’m in NI so not exactly sure what Y5 is. My nine year old is doing times tables, revising grammar and comprehension work, and learning basic science. They need practice regardless of how above average they are.

BearFoxBear · 19/05/2020 21:20

Ds (5) isn't getting much in the way of school work, but we're doing lots of reading, writing letters to friends and family, quick fire maths quizzes, experiments etc. plus loads of cooking, DIY etc. DH and I are both working (well he's in hospital at the moment, but that's another story) and just don't have the time or energy to be doing worksheets and the like with him. He's bright and is learning in his own way, and that's good enough for us.

Yester · 19/05/2020 21:22

Is he reading/being read to? Doing some maths? Learning somw stuff? Hours and hours on screens isn't great.

ittooshallpass · 19/05/2020 21:36

I haven't done anything either. Single mum working full time and been ill, so not a great combination. Have had to leave DD to it. Swing between not worrying about it and feeling sick with guilt.

We just have to get through this and trust that the teachers will get them back on track when schools reopen.

WelcomeToTheNorth · 19/05/2020 21:45

We are trying with our five year old. It’s getting harder and harder to motivate her. She enjoys reading and writing so there is a lot of that but number work - hell no. I’m trying not to get too wound up about it.

FergusSingsTheBlues · 19/05/2020 21:59

You’ve got to keep it going because if you think about the brain drain issues that teachers complain about every September..
Imagine after 6months..?

Then imagine that most kids have kept going?

You’d be doing him an massive disservice tbh

EvolvingElle · 19/05/2020 22:12

I don’t personally get this attitude at all.

Education is so important. Why would you passively allow your child to miss out for no reason than you can’t be arsed?

If he doesn’t see the point in doing work that doesn’t have to be submitted (an understandable POV for a child), educate him in the value of learning things for your own personal benefit and development.

A research task or project or essay doesn’t have to be marked and looked at by a teacher for it to benefit your child. There’s plenty of value just in the doing of it.

AtopAHighHill · 19/05/2020 22:21

I'm having lots of issues with DS yr7. He has ASD/ADHD and has a 1 to 1 assistant in school normally.
At home he's simply refusing to do any work. I've bought him a new laptop he wanted, to try to encourage him but it's proved useless. Had a lovely reply from his year head telling me not to be worried about it after I emailed her regarding it.

Try not to worry op. It sounds like he'll be learning a lot from what you're doing as a family.

1AngelicFruitCake · 19/05/2020 22:22

I knew before you posted that your child would be bright. Whenever posters say they are doing little, their child is always above average!
Are they significantly above average? Fine to do nothing if you can accept they may not be doing as well when they go back.
He can’t see the point? Children need to learn to self motivate! Even if it’s only to do some work in small bursts!

Ijustreallywantacat · 19/05/2020 22:28

What a shame that the teacher is putting all that effort in and you can't be arsed. Sorry to say it, but this is pretty poor.

Do what you like but accept that:

  • He may fall behind and not be in the same place when he goes back.
  • Important new pieces of learning may be missed.
  • He may develop a shitty attitude as he is being taught that if you can't be bothered, there's no point in doing it.
Breastfeedingworries · 19/05/2020 22:28

I’m doing more with my 17 month old.... come on op! I’ve got charts, letters, numbers, days of the week posters. We ready about 10 books together, (me to her obviously)

Water play learning about floating and sinking. Bit of science , Maths as we do shape work and amounts. Share out the balls ect.

Isn’t it o my like 10 mins of work per subject? Can’t you do it outside with ice cream? Make it fun. And also he has a choice??? Er no he does it or he’s got no tv no screens and generally no fun until it’s done! Grin

Breastfeedingworries · 19/05/2020 22:29

Read*

Grin
Beechview · 19/05/2020 22:29

It’s seems a shame to not be doing anything at all. Is he interested in anything himself?
Mine don’t necessarily follow everything that school has sent but they do something. Whatever interests them.
Daily reading, some maths and just learning about things in the world would be good for that age.

1AngelicFruitCake · 19/05/2020 22:32

What bothers me is that when we return parents like you will be up in arms if their child has fallen behind, whilst the parents who’ve got on, gritted their teeth and got on with it will be relied upon to cause no problems!

rawlikesushi · 19/05/2020 22:36

I'm a teacher and we're providing timetables, resources, video tutorials and 24/7 helpline.

Our message has consistently been to just do what you can. We understand that people are wfh, supporting vulnerable neighbours and relatives, or struggling with illness or anxiety.

I've been very supportive of parents telling me that they pick n mix what we send, dip in and out, do some days and not others, don't always mark it.

But, honestly, and I'm sorry if this sounds unkind, doing absolutely nothing sounds absolutely awful, and quite hard to understand.

Full time work leaves you with some hours during the week, surely?

Even just reading and following the maths would be so beneficial to your child.

And my kids have animal crossing - nothing educational whatsoever.

It's not just the fact that they're not learning it's the fact that you're giving your dc a very clear message about the importance of schoolwork/education.

HeckyPeck · 19/05/2020 22:36

I could understand if you were too busy, but you just can’t be arsed.

At least you’re owning your laziness I suppose!

I think you should get him to do something or he’s doing to really struggling going back.

HeckyPeck · 19/05/2020 22:37

Going to really struggle that should say!

Wasail · 19/05/2020 22:37

DS is year 5 also and we have had almost nothing from the school. They finally set up google classroom this week but for some reason our login is invalid Hmm. We have been simply following our interests. DS is learning to type and code online, he does daily Italian and music and we take a lot of exercise. He won’t know the same as the other kids when they do go back to school but it seems to me that they are all in the same boat. I’m very disappointed in the school but enjoying the time with DS, he is a lot of fun.

zoemum2006 · 19/05/2020 22:40

My DD is in year 5 too.

This is an opportunity for him to learn new skills that will serve him well in the future: how to work independently, how to organise his time, how to persevere.

I wouldn't want my child to stagnate unnecessarily.

He needs to keep the discipline of work. There's a good chance year 5 won't be back until September and that's too long to form bad habits.

Porridgeoat · 19/05/2020 22:44

School only teaches a very narrow range of topics. Your sons cooking, games, bonding during long walks, reading and veg growing are invaluable. You’re teaching him about health, resilience, domestic skills, developing enriching hobbies and so on. As long as your son is happy and not stressed, who really cares if he has a little catching up to do. There will be children who have had a horrific time during lockdown.

SeasonallySnowyPeasant · 19/05/2020 22:46

My DS is also 9. We have a proper timetable for the week but it includes ‘fun’ things as well as core English and maths. Some ideas:.

  • Joe Wicks
  • keyboard practice
  • science experiments
  • cooking
  • having his own patch of garden (my garden’s tiny so he has a pot)
  • work set by the school

I’m working FT so having a timetable really helps him and 7yo DD sort themselves out while I crack on. I
Some days go better than others but I wouldn’t just leave them to it. I don’t want either of them to fall so far behind that they essentially have to repeat a year.

Littlepond · 19/05/2020 22:49

I think you are doing him a great disservice not instilling in him how important education is. All the other things you are doing are great and important to but I can’t get my head round why you wouldn’t get him doing any school work. You’ve basically told him it’s not important so why will he suddenly bother in 3 months time when you’ve made it so clear to him you don’t care about it?
I honestly don’t get why if you have the time you wouldn’t do some education with him. Honestly a bit baffled.

FTstepmum · 19/05/2020 22:52

Don't sweat it. There are lots of people in the same position.

He'll go back to school eventually and get into the groove easily.

He's now learning lifeskills that will serve him well.