To not do any schoolwork with DC at all?

[HomeSchoolingDodger]

NC as I expect to be completely castigated!

DC is in Yr5, above average in terms of reading, spelling and maths. Just had another excellent school report again. Not behind at all.

School have been posting weekly activities for DC in each year group to do on their website with a small project each week. Work is not handed in but DC ‘can’ bring some of the work into school after lockdown so teacher can look through it.

DC did a bit in the first few weeks but quickly lost interest as he needs class stimulation really and didn’t see the point in doing it if it doesn’t need to be handed in each week and tbh I can’t be arsed to chase him!

I am planning to start getting him into ‘school mode’ on the last few weeks before school goes back by completing all the work set then so we have a timescale and motivation to complete it

AIBU?

He is currently learning a lot from Animal Crossing, which involves setting up home, debts, loans, so he tells me . We also do a daily bike ride or walk, he helps me cook, looks after loads of seedlings we’ve planted for veg, reads, plays Articulate, Monopoly and Mexican dominoes with us.

*times tables

*are (d'oh)

Do a daily timetable
Allocate times to everything
Stick to it
If motivation rises, reward it
If motivation dips, sanction it
Send pics and comments of what he does, his teacher will be all over that as they want to encourage it. Send your family with pics too, they’ll support you and make a fuss of him.
What difference does it make if the teacher marks the work or not? All learning is learning.
Too many parents have given up for an easy life and made excuses that their child will get back on it...yeah, with a teacher’s huge effort they might but why take the risk with something as huge as education.

@BillieEilish thanks for that. I was starting to think it was just this particular class in this particular Italian school that was piling it on, but maybe it's more common than I thought.
@Mosschopz You are of course absolutely right, because at the end of the day, the obligation has made me find the time to keep education going, even if it has sacrificed my paid work somewhat.
The unschooling is a great idea of there is no obligatory work. But it can only called such if you allocate time to spend with your children. I fear the alternative with my kids would be the iPad because I'd be doing my work from home rather than interacting with my kids.

In my opinion you are doing the very minimum. The things that you are doing will not stretch a child your sons age. For instance rather than learning about how wheat is milled ( which I am going to look up myself) you could talk about the parts of a plant and what they do, basic photosynthesis etc. This is something that is built upon in schools and is revisited when doing SATS. I would be encouraging reading of one book a week and then a comprehension task the next week. There are so many resources online for a child your sons age and if he is not stretched by the school worksheets you could print out some sats papers and mark them to gauge how he is actually doing. That way you could gauge what he still needs to work on. You could also try printing off his syllabus and using it as a way to find out what he does know and what he needs to work on. Exercising is great for his physical and mental health.

I think the main issue I see is that you feel he won't be disadvantaged because you are going to do the work anyway but if he and yourself are not motivated now why will you be closer to school opening? The he will be alright and can just cram it in is a poor precedent to set for your son, it might work at primary school or high school but won't for A-levels or further study (which is a long way off but behaviour changing is hard). Also, you would be putting yourself and him under unnecessary stress trying to cram all the work in when if you do an hour or two a day or would be easier? You said he is bright so why not make an effort to challenge him and get him further ahead?

Appreciate you are a sahm and won't just he twiddling your thumbs at home. Kids being home more means more washing, cooking and cleaning etc. but you have an advantage over working parents in that you can organise your day depending on what you need to get done and are not at the back and call of an employer so you can do more with your son but are choosing not to.

I struggle with this tbh. Our school send through ideas, but very loose and no feedback, marking etc. A series of worksheets or video links normally. Thus far we haven't really engaged with it.

My feeling is that while my kids may go back to school in some way shape or form after half term as key worker kids, we may start afresh with Oak Academy and follow that timetable and ignore the school suggestions. They can do that through the summer.

If you're happy with him no longer being above average when he goes back, crack on.

I think people who think parents aren’t supervising/homeschooling are a bit deluded/in denial.
I’m working from home and have 1 dyslexic year 8 who needs loads of support and a year 5 who is good at cracking on alone.
My year 8 is expected to do at least 3 hours a day which we do in one hour chunks. I am expected to do 6 hours of work a day which I work around the day, usually getting a good few hours in before my dc are up.
Even if your dc are bright it instils a good work ethic/discipline in them that will stand them in good stead. And if you are a sahp you have the time to help them.

@Sceptre86: "The things that you are doing will not stretch a child your sons age. For instance rather than learning about how wheat is milled ( which I am going to look up myself)..."

You reckon it won't stretch the OP's son, but you are going to go look it up yourself? Why is it worthy of your attention but not his?

At any rate, people take different things away from their experiences. A four year old, a ten year old, and a 40 year old could all learn about wheat being milled and have varying levels of understanding, and make different connections with other things they know. There are few things which are intrinsically "too easy" unless the way in which the learner engages is limited, e.g. by not being allowed to ask questions and explore the subject.

Like one or two other posters, I am on what is often considered the radical fringe of home educators, who let their children decide what, when and how to learn. There is a great fear that children given such freedom will "do nothing" but that doesn't happen. They are curious people by nature.

Certain subjects are introduced at school earlier than they should be, with the result that it does take some kids years to pick them up. This gives rise to the perception that they are intrinsically difficult and therefore must be practiced hard from an early age. It also can put kids off learning. But you can instead just wait until the child is ready.

My eldest went to school for a few months aged nine, having done no formal study whatsoever. She was not particularly "behind". Her handwriting was very slow as she hadn't done much of that. It is fine now. Her spelling was also largely phonetic, as she had only been a fluent reader for a year and hadn't yet absorbed much spelling. She spells very well now. Her maths was average and later progressed well. She knew roughly as much history as the rest of her class, just a different selection of history. She came top of the school in a general knowledge competition. So even for children who are going to start or resume school, it isn't essential to plug away at school-style learning week in and week out in order to be ready for school.

There is also a widespread worry that a proper work ethic will not develop and that one needs to plod along at each individual subject at a fixed pace in order to reach the necessary level by adulthood. That isn't true either. They learn really quickly when motivated, and insofar as a given skill (say maths) is actually necessary to them, they see its importance and want to acquire it; why would they not? You genuinely can leave a subject alone for years on end and then they pick it up and run with it.

A work ethic comes when kids want to achieve something enough to work at it. Motivation comes from within. It isn't something which can be instilled by other people. My eldest, now 20, has a wide friendship group of other formerly home educated teens and 20-somethings, many of whom were never made to do formal academic work they didn't choose to do. She mentioned recently that of all of them, only one is now NEET. They aren't the feckless underachievers which some people expect them to be.

OP, your update about the ways your son has been learning sounds like the way we do it. You are giving your son access to knowledgeable people and resources to learn. It will be fine. He isn't learning less or more than he would learn if he did schoolwork. He is learning different things. It isn't as if he is at risk of being left behind and baffled when he returns to school.

@SirSamuelVimesBlackboardMonito: "If you're happy with him no longer being above average when he goes back, crack on."

Maybe the OP has a broader view of education than you, and attaches less importance to where her son comes in the class ranking as to whether he is learning things which excite him and are meaningful to him.

Anyhow, it's quite possible that he is above average at school not because he has worked consistently for long hours to know more than his peers, but because he is a fast learner whose natural talents map well onto what the school system values. Such a child will have no trouble making up any shortfall. Cramming may well be perfectly effective for him. The OP seems to think it will work, and she knows him better than anyone else does.

To those who have to work hard to keep up, or whose children do, it can be infuriating to see someone succeed with less effort, and thus have more time to explore other topics instead of "schoolwork". It's an unfortunate fact of the school system that it matches some people's skills better than others. It's unfair. But it isn't the fault of the OP's son, and he doesn't have to limit his methods to the ones which other children use if there are ways he finds more efficient. Why shouldn't he do whatever works for him?

The OP made the point of him being above average. I therefore assume she knows & cares where he comes in the class / year ranking. Kids regress just over the 6 week summer holiday - ask any teacher. So IF lots of other kids are doing work at home and are making progress, and IF OP's ds does nothing and slides back, they may well find that he is no longer in the 'above average' position he has been accustomed to occupying.

Now, if the OP is fine with this, then, as I said, crack on. If she's not fine with this and will at a later date be putting pressure on her son and / or his teachers to be doing as well as before, then don't.

Oh, I assumed she mentioned the fact that he was above average in order to reassure people that he wouldn't flounder due to not knowing some essential basic idea which all the other kids understood, and that he wouldn't be requiring the teacher's time with this.

Ah, who knows? The difficulty of inference.

True.

"Kids regress just over the 6 week summer holiday - ask any teacher."

This I don't really buy. If it is true, it suggests that we are teaching them the wrong things in the wrong way. Real understanding does not disappear. My kids, who don't go to school, have left certain subjects by the wayside for years on end. They may be a bit rusty when they return to the subject, but not to a significant extent.

www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/freedom-learn/201707/facts-and-fiction-about-the-so-called-summer-slide

Except the OP was quite clear at the start that he is mostly playing computer games. There is marching kids through endless worksheets or getting them to engage with the world in a curious way, or letting them stagnate on addictive games (or TV). Engaging with curiosity is best, but if that is too much effort, a few worksheets before the screens each day would be much better.

Could you quote the bit where she says that? I've just reread all her posts and got a different picture entirely.

I think it's important for structure so we do it all most days. If it's really sunny (not that often) we spend the day outside with no structured work. My child isn't ahead so that makes a difference.
It's your call at the moment, if you're confident it won't affect him in school next year then work away.

Except the OP was quite clear at the start that he is mostly playing computer games.
Perhaps you could clarify exactly where I said that MinesAPint*. My 9 year old has better reading comprehension than you it seems.

I certainly won’t be putting ‘pressure’ on his teacher when he goes back to school SirSamuel . Do I really sound like that kind of parent? Another ridiculous assumption!

Saracen Thank you for a bit of sanity in amongst all the hysteria!

OP, if you hand-on-heart think that you are doing the very best for your son then you don't need to justify yourself on here, and it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks.

If there is any part of you that suspects that you are not, then make a few changes.

But please don't kid yourself that he's learning anything from animal crossing. My kids have it and it's mind-rotting nonsense - a fun diversion for a 9yo, but you're not really learning anything collecting rocks or pears to upgrade your house.

As a primary teacher I would say that it is positive that he is a reader. He will almost certainly be learning a lot of life skills from the cooking which many people haven’t grasped by adulthood.

However writing a list of things you want off amazon is not a year 5 level writing activity. You need to get him doing more extended writing. It could be writing a diary or book reviews. He could try writing some stories but going into year six you do need to be able to write well.

That's the message I took from this:

"He is currently learning a lot from Animal Crossing, which involves setting up home, debts, loans, so he tells me"

Sounded like excessive screentime with a few bits of family activities. As your posts went on the activity descriptions increased, but a lot of people only read the op and the last few posts.

I also made the assumption he was having a lot of screen time because you said:

“He is currently learning a lot from Animal Crossing”

And writing your amazon shopping list

YANBU. I think if you force learning, it just has the opposite effect. I also think it depends on the child's personality, some children will be easy going and happy to take on the learning, others will be more stubborn and resistant too it. Also, from what I have just heard in my own circle of friends and family there is a big difference of how the schools are dealing with this.

I took a middle ground and decided that my DD would do some of the learning but not all. None of this is easy, go with what you think is best for your child and your family.