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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not do any schoolwork with DC at all?

176 replies

HomeSchoolingDodger · 19/05/2020 21:13

NC as I expect to be completely castigated!

DC is in Yr5, above average in terms of reading, spelling and maths. Just had another excellent school report again. Not behind at all.

School have been posting weekly activities for DC in each year group to do on their website with a small project each week. Work is not handed in but DC ‘can’ bring some of the work into school after lockdown so teacher can look through it.

DC did a bit in the first few weeks but quickly lost interest as he needs class stimulation really and didn’t see the point in doing it if it doesn’t need to be handed in each week and tbh I can’t be arsed to chase him!

I am planning to start getting him into ‘school mode’ on the last few weeks before school goes back by completing all the work set then so we have a timescale and motivation to complete it

AIBU?

He is currently learning a lot from Animal Crossing, which involves setting up home, debts, loans, so he tells me Hmm. We also do a daily bike ride or walk, he helps me cook, looks after loads of seedlings we’ve planted for veg, reads, plays Articulate, Monopoly and Mexican dominoes with us.

OP posts:
Ilovecats14 · 19/05/2020 22:53

Mines at secondary school so has been doing work. I had to contact the local primary for work (lots of parents do not have laptops/computers) they said the children do not have to do any of the work set and they would be recapping everything so they are not helping with laptops or giving print outs.

MarylandMayhem · 19/05/2020 22:54

It's not too late to start doing some school work now, just pretend the summer holidays came early and it's now back to school time.

Goatinthegarden · 19/05/2020 22:56

Another teacher here. As the parent it’s your prerogative to decide how much home learning your child does, or what type of learning activities he does.I know it’s hard to juggle everything, but at the end of the day, he is your child and surely his education matters to you?

I think it’s important that you show him you care about his learning by engaging him in something. If you can get him to learn some resilience and self discipline for getting through a set of tasks that he might not want to do, that in itself will be a good life skill.

Original poster
HomeSchoolingDodger · 19/05/2020 22:58

TBF he finished the entire Harry Potter series of books in Yr3. He knows all his times tables and I do occasionally do a quick fire round when we’re walking. Knows quite a bit of science stuff so I don’t think he’ll be behind! As I said we’ll catch up on what the school has set in the weeks before he goes back. A lot of it is websites anyway.

He’s picked up a lot just from playing ArticulateGrin.

I don’t want stress in the current situation so I’m not going to create it, for him or for me so I’ll have to live with BU I suppose!

OP posts:
Beechview · 19/05/2020 23:01

Cooking, growing plants and playing games are great for personal development, practical skills and some education but it’s not going to help to keep him above average.
Many Dcs have been doing all of that plus lots more. Of course, many have been doing nothing too which is a shame.

Ugzbugz · 19/05/2020 23:01

Not doing any anymore, making my job at risk and will have to get a tutor if needed. Cannot concentrate and answer questions at the same time. Ridiculous think parents can teach full time and work full time

switswoo81 · 19/05/2020 23:02

I don't want stress either but I am spending 6 hours a day preparing lessons while looking after a 2 and 5 year old so that parents like you decide they couldn't be arsed doing the work I prepare .

whattodo2019 · 19/05/2020 23:04

Have you looked at BBC Bitesize? Lots of free resources.
I have subscribed to IXL for my two children for maths and English. It's superb. I would highly recommend it.
Our children need to be furthering themselves academically during this time as well as learning to cook, keeping fit and being creative.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 19/05/2020 23:05

If you cant fair enough. If you can't be arsed then that's quite a shame.

30mins reading every day would be a start. Order some maths work books from Amazon for his age group and even if he does a page per day.

Teach him chess. Or knitting. Or coding. Or cross stitching. Or french. Something to stretch him slightly.

MinesAPintOfTea · 19/05/2020 23:06

DS is Pokémon obsessed, and would play it all day. Failing that, he would do Lego all day. So I told him he could earn screentime (switch) at 15 mins per 15 mins of schoolwork. Plan is that he gets 90 mins of each . The rest of the day is music/garden/reading/Lego.

One day he tested me on this and tried to pay without having did his work. Switch was hidden for 24 hours after (and the switch is really easy to lift out of its cradle to hide). He has had occasional "days off" since where he has gone and played Lego much of the day, but 90% of the time "up to you, no Pokémon today" gets him at his desk.

Even if he doesn't quite get learning for is own sake, at least he's learning the discipline of work first.

OTOH, this means I have to read lots of stories he has written about Pokémon...

Cb2020 · 19/05/2020 23:08

Tbh, I wouldn’t bother stressing you or your DS out. I don’t force my DD who is 7 to do copious amounts of school work...the way I see it, this is unprecedented times, our kids are just as stressed as what we are so why would we want to make things even more stressful? DD is a bright kid so I’m not in anyway worried...teachers will be able to pick things back up whenever it’s safe for them to return to school. Also we have spent this time (time we don’t normally have as I work FT and have always worked since she was 39 weeks old) doing things we don’t always have time for, for instance she’s learned to go her bike and tie her laces and helping me prepare family dinners for us to enjoy. Defo not worth stressing!

MinesAPintOfTea · 19/05/2020 23:15

Oh, and I'm wfh full time. Literally I can do is have a 5 min chat of "this much of a maths workbook, these spellings, write a story" and leave it up to him whether he does the work or doesn't get the switch.

You have a high value treat that he is currently getting daily, and he's 9. He needs to learn some restraint on that, preferable before he's 6 inches taller than you

Healthyandhappy · 19/05/2020 23:23

My yr5 has online learning this week via zoom. But it's all handed in on class dojo and marked

qweryuiop · 19/05/2020 23:34

There's nothing wrong with doing no schoolwork, and I totally agree that there's no need to create stress, but your posts seem a little off to me. It does seem more like you don't want to try than that you can't. There's a difference between stress and challenge.

Bright children need to be challenged too, or they switch off and learn to only do easy things. Board games and cooking are great, but maybe he could be challenged to learn something new - use apps like duolingo, scratch (coding), do puzzles, or get him to design and make something. He might even enjoy these things once he gives them a go!

He's your child in the end, but this is just my teacher opinion on it!

Happymum12345 · 19/05/2020 23:36

I am primary school teacher & my dd does the bare minimum. I know she’ll be fine. It sounds like you are doing things that are good, like cooking, family games & cycling. Do what you can & don’t take to heart what others are saying. You know your child better than anyone. If he’s bright, he’ll be absolutely fine & probably be ready to jump back into school when they open again. Mental health, is much more important at this moment in time.

Playdonut · 19/05/2020 23:36

Its only on mumsnet that people are pretending to do schoolwork. Even the school says dont worry about it when they set it. They dont teach new stuff just recap so its boring for the kids. I bet he will do loads when he knows he is back to school in a few days 😂. Ask real life people who you trust and you'll get more honest answers. Dont stress yourself xxx

superduperconfused · 19/05/2020 23:40

Wow, as in wow to some of these responses .

OP, My DCs are also doing very little in the way of homeschooling, not because I don't think education is important (as some of the responses seem to think)...but wtf we got thrown into crack on with it....oh and whilst you are at it take on extra hours, not only working more than full time, looking after previously independent but elderly relatives ...oh just squeeze 2-3 hours into that imaginary day of back to back video conferences....the 2 hours queues at the pharmacy for prescriptions....but it is ok .. you can make up those hours in the evening... Deadlines still have to be met...wfh is less productive..everything takes more time....2 DCs who couldn't work independently for any form of reward, and doing the 10 mins here and there to try to get them started on anything ends up as world war bloody 3.

I'm going to get my household through this by trying to stay sane, homeschooling sheets that involve flaming hours of activities are not going to happen. If geology has to be learnt via mine craft and maths skills through monopoly for a few months..then so be it.

Not all of us have 9-5 jobs, not all of us are super human or in any shape or form "making precious lockdown memories". Some of us are run bloody ragged with work, families and all of a sudden huge amounts of additional responsibilities.

Yes we are all in the same storm, but it really is true that we are all in different boats. I count my blessings that I don't have the money stress that a lot of households have at the moment. Yes there be catch up required in terms of education, but I will have to deal with that later - I am not super woman.

OP just do what you can to get through this. It's all any of us can possibly do. From an equally exhausted working parent.

Original poster
HomeSchoolingDodger · 19/05/2020 23:41

I think if there was some kind of online lesson (even pre recorded) and work to be handed in at a set time, it would be a different ballgame for us Healthy but the attitude from the school seems to be ‘do what you can or don’t’ really! Not really much impetus to do it. Quite surprised nothing has been set up considering the length of time schools are going to be closed. If it was a few weeks of homeschooling it would have been easier to keep it up.

He has 3 older sibling so is involved with them a lot and not left to his own devices on screens 24/7.

OP posts:
superduperconfused · 19/05/2020 23:41

Ps. It wasn't obviously I do not think you are being unreasonable at all Smile

Original poster
HomeSchoolingDodger · 19/05/2020 23:49

He’s the only ICT rep in his year (normally only Yr6 do it) and has done a lot of coding already. Helps having an older brother who’s a computer geek!

Too right superduper. You do what you have to do to get through it! All 4 of my DC are really finding not being to meet mates and go out tough so I’m trying to keep the house calm and fuck anything that’s not completely necessary to do!

I’m a SAHM though so you have my deepest respect working full time too.

OP posts:
superduperconfused · 19/05/2020 23:59

@homeschooldodger thank you, and apologies for the rant - it's been a long week already!

new moto Stay Safe/Alert has translated to Stay Sane

You sound like you are doing a grand job btw. Keep going and stay as sane as you can Wine

BackforGood · 20/05/2020 00:06

Whereas I'm a believer in 'all doing what we need to do to get by', and that everyone has different amounts of time and different educational abilities and different levels of resilience, I too think it would make a lot more sense to get into a routine of expecting 2 hours a day of sitting and working.
If you had drip fed you were also working 12 hours shifts whilst being a single Mum to 2 yr old triplets, then it would be different, but you say you are a SAHM, with older dc, so a routine of a couple of hours a day to include some written work, some reading / research and some other 'topic' sounds like it would make sense to me.

2 of my dc (at that age) would have fought it and moaned, but would be a whole lot better for some structure and routine in their lives.
Still leaves plenty of time for gardening and cooking and exercise and reading for pleasure.

MinorArcana · 20/05/2020 00:10

I know that the home schooling can be tough, but I do think it’s important to at least try to keep DC doing some of it while they can’t go to school.

Even a little bit of regular reading and writing and maths will help when the schools do reopen. I know there’s an assumption that the teachers will get all the kids caught up, but there’s presumably only so much even the best teachers can do.

We’re not managing to keep up with everything the school send out (primary school DC here), but I’m trying to make sure they’re at least doing a little bit every day.

TheLashKingOfScotland · 20/05/2020 00:13

I think when schools say 'do what you can', there is an inherent assumption that you will at least try.
Your DC may be 'bright' but if their classmates have worked regularly and consistently then your DC will fall behind.
Ime the parents who think their DCs are much brighter than everyone else's, are usually mistaken.

QueenofLouisiana · 20/05/2020 00:21

Ultimately you can choose to do as you wish. Please don’t demand additional support when your DC can’t be arsed to engage in yr6. Of course DC doesn’t particularly want to do the work- my yr6 class aren’t thrilled, but most do something and I worry greatly for those who will have done nothing except play video games for 5 months by the time they return in September.