Help settle an argument- Xbox and teen related

[Coronaedout]

AIBU to only allow Xbox from midday on Friday until 10pm Sunday night for 13 yo DS?
Apparently ALL other parents allow their children on everyday and I’m horribly unreasonable for not allowing him.

He’s normally dead sporty and plays football 4 times a week. He does his school work daily and some zoom sports classes.
I don’t want him glued to the screen all hours and he can’t seem to self-regulate - I allowed him on at Easter whenever he liked and he was never off it, even ate his food super fast to get back on.

So
YABU - let him play as much as he likes
YANBU - limited playing is fine

Thanks in advance, I thought this the easiest way to answer the “everyone else can play all the time” argument .

Have a conversation with him about it, give him the control. Tell him your non-negotiables ie. School work, specific chores, exercise etc explain your concerns and why, so he gets an idea if what your worries are.
Then hand it to him to find a solution that pleases both of you, you might be surprised at how considered his ideas can be.

We were somewhere in between where you are in terms of strictness with X box. But somehow at the start of year 11 he wised up on his own and rarely went on it. He is a bright lad and has really good predicted grades. He can also have a good debate about it (he is socialising with friends and who are all scattered about and he cant see face to face now anyway, he isn’t doing drugs, drinking or hanging about the streets or getting into trouble with the police like X, Y and Z from primary school are. However, he is on it now most afternoons until 9pm but he will come down for meals, watch the occasional film with us, comes on the occasional dog walk with us or come down for a family quiz etc.

I don't think you are being unreasonable. It is hard to strike a right balance when parenting and only you know your kid and what would be the right thing for him.

13 years is old enough to be able to reason with. Also good time to teach actions = consequences.

I would maybe talk to him and ask him what are his expectations, and try to work from there. Ask him what he thinks would be reasonable amount of time on xbox, try to work out something and put rules in.

Give him a few weeks trail of new rules and tell him that if homework, house work or his attitude will slip, the new rules are being scrapped.

Make rules clear:

• Meals are eaten with family, and no leavingtable until people finished
• Homework has to be done
• House work that is his responsility needs to be finished
• Attitude towards members of household needs to ok
• Any family trips or activities have to be attended without moaning.

Or any other rules you want to put in. That is just an example. If stuff is clear it should be fine. Games are not bad, tv is not bad and books are not bad.

You can even tell him that there will be no limits on his gaming as he is old enough to learn to self regulate. It does not mean he can spend whole days palying xbox, just that he needs to learn responsibilty for his actions. If he will not self regulate, you will have to do it for him, so balls is in his corner. You are going to trust him and it is up to him to prove that it was right thing to do.