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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To have naively thought people were sticking to the rules

145 replies

Myfriendanxiety · 19/05/2020 13:05

We’ve been for a walk at a local country park today- first time in 8 weeks of leaving our village.

I had believed people were sticking to the rules as all my friends and family are, but the place was full of people meeting up who clearly aren’t the same household!

Loads of grandparents out with children and the children’s parents, lots of mum groups with pushchairs, and lots of school age children playing with friends while mums sit and watch.

I understand everyone is fed up now and desperate to see people- but I was so surprised at how many people are clearly ignoring the rules of mixing households.

OP posts:

wanderlust333 · 19/05/2020 13:53

I think if you don't go out much it's easy to imagine everyone else is doing the same as you. Then you do go out and are shocked at how normally life seems to be going on. I went to a big supermarket (rather than Tesco express) for the first time since lockdown began the other day. I was surprised at how freely everyone was mingling in the aisles. However, I imagine that if you are out and about all the time then actually the 'rules' seem pretty irrelevant now ... what's the point in not meeting up with friends or family if you commute to work on a packed train, or if your DP works in a job where they are supposed to social distance but no one actually bothers etc.

AuntMasha · 19/05/2020 13:55

Mumsnet really has become the living embodiment of Meddlesome Ratbag from Viz.

GoatyGoatyMingeMinge · 19/05/2020 14:03

The rules are widely ignored. (A friend told me .)

Etinox · 19/05/2020 14:05

@IcedPurple
It’s not a case of “You just do you” though is it? OP and others are following the rules and other people ‘You just do you” will impact her.
“You just do you” is supremely unhelpful in this case.

Original poster

Myfriendanxiety · 19/05/2020 14:09

I was on Mumsnet at the start of lockdown when someone was pinched for mentioning they may go to their mums to sing happy birthday to her from the garden path. I’ve not really read as much recently but it clearly seems the atmosphere and opinions have changed!

OP posts:

highmarkingsnowmobile · 19/05/2020 14:10

You were out, they were out. Funny on mumsnet isn’t it that the OP is always sticking to rules or out for an essential reasons but everyone else is a rule breaker despite government data all along saying different.

This.

YABU

I was out and everyone else was! OMG!

ImInAStateOfMind · 19/05/2020 14:11

Gov's own research shows that 20% of adults are admitting they are breaking the rules. However the real number is likely yo be more than that, as people break the rules and don't admit to it in the survey.

Sparticle · 19/05/2020 14:12

YABU for making me read about walking and sitting out in nice country parks while it has been raining here for the past two days.

IcedPurple · 19/05/2020 14:12

It’s not a case of “You just do you” though is it? OP and others are following the rules and other people ‘You just do you” will impact her.

They very likely won't. The virus does not seem to transmit efficiently outofdoors. Even if the situation was as she described it and not a massive exaggeration, it's unlikely to have any impact on her - though the stress caused by pearl cluthing about a mums' group might damage her immune system.

“You just do you” is supremely unhelpful in this case.

So what's 'helpful'? Whining about it on MN?

Ponoka7 · 19/05/2020 14:16

"I am usually big on rules"

In this instance we need to think critically and risk assess. There was a really good interview on the BBC, saying how it's very stange how those who are allowed back to work, golf/tennis club staff, cleaners, housekeepers, estate agents, construction, lower rung workers etc are all to get the lives of the elite up and running. Whereas ordinary families can't have a catch up.

Why is it not safe for transport workers to return, so the people that are at work don't have to wait an hour for a bus? But it's ok for teachers?

Sweden is starting to report what we knew, that older people are being denied oxygen therapy and that's why they are dying.

We don't know how much of a killer this virus is, because we don't treat enough people, we just aid/leave them to die.

People are finally realising that there might not be an answer for older people. The vaccine isn't suitable for them, if one is available at all. So they are making their own mind up on meeting up.

OneandTwenty · 19/05/2020 14:17

People are bored, the novelty have worn off so they have decided that it's actually safe to go back to normal, because someone on FB said so.

The same ones who were curtain twitching at the beginning are laughing at the "hysterical dementors" because we are back to normal and we just have to live with the virus.

Meanwhile, China is putting another province in quarantine and imposing a real lockdown, but what happens in China never has any impact on us so who cares...

Fluffybutter · 19/05/2020 14:19

@P1nkHeartLovesCake yep and it’s always the first time they’ve been out in about 10 years ..

Walkingthedog46 · 19/05/2020 14:20

Loads of grandparents out with the children and the children’s’ parents.

Don’t assume they are transgressors! My daughter, her husbands and their two children live with me. We all go for a walk together, or sometimes I take the children on my own. We aren’t breaking any rules however it might appear.

OneandTwenty · 19/05/2020 14:20

Even if the situation was as she described it and not a massive exaggeration, it's unlikely to have any impact on her

except... even if the restrictions were only set up knowing that only a certain amount would bother to follow them, why should people accept to suffer more than others who flaunt the rules?

It's ok to refuse to be part of the willing obedient sheep whilst others are carrying on as normal.

RoosterPie · 19/05/2020 14:23

All the other countries had much stricter rules. I don't believe anything they say at the moment

Actually it isn’t just the UK saying outdoors is safer, other countries have a less than 2m distancing rule outside eg Germany is 1.5m. Think WHO says 1m.

To be fair to the OP, I don’t think she was surprised people were out same way she was, but surprised that household appeared to be mingling.

Coyoacan · 19/05/2020 14:24

I understand your upset, OP. I'm not in the UK and the restrictions haven't been lifted yet, but if too many people don't follow the guidelines, heavens knows when they'll be lifted or, heaven forbid, they might be reinstated again.

We are all going stir-crazy though and it is tempting to break the rules just a little bit.

wheresmymojo · 19/05/2020 14:28

I agree with a PP. I can't be bothered to be incensed about it...let them mingle for all I care now.

They're doing a good job at building up herd immunity while I stay out of it...

Walkingthedog46 · 19/05/2020 14:29

OMG - “my daughter, her husbands and their two children live with me ....”

Needless to say it should be ‘husband’ singular!!!! 😂😂

Dollywilde · 19/05/2020 14:30

Rule-breaking is built into the modelling. I can't get too stressed about it.

Mumsnet hates people thinking critically and evaluating their own risks. Just look at what happens every time someone mentions having had half a sip of shandy while pregnant.

dramadrama · 19/05/2020 14:32

You’re allowed to meet one other person from outside your household.

IcedPurple · 19/05/2020 14:35

except... even if the restrictions were only set up knowing that only a certain amount would bother to follow them, why should people accept to suffer more than others who flaunt the rules?

It's unclear how much rule 'flaunting' has been going on here though. The OP is making a lot of assumptions. The actual statistics show most people have not been 'flaunting' the rules, which are guidelines rather than rules in any case.

Lynda07 · 19/05/2020 14:36

I haven't been out but I heard before the weekend from someone who had been to the supermarket that there were loads of people out and about, mixing, and a lot of cars on the road. He seemed to think it was because lockdown has 'eased'. It's ridiculous, give some people an inch and they'll take a yard. In China they are about to have another lockdown for that reason.

OneandTwenty · 19/05/2020 14:36

Mumsnet hates people thinking critically and evaluating their own risks.

as long as the 'risk-takers" accept not to become a burden on rescue services and medical facilities, it's all good.

CurlyEndive · 19/05/2020 14:38

This is why we've got to get the kids back to school and adults back to work! If people are breaking lockdown for social reasons then we have the worst of both worlds - the virus spreads and the economy suffers.

AWryGiraffe · 19/05/2020 14:39

FLOUT not flaunt for gods sake.

I really hate that phrase now. Argh.

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