What do they do that I don't?

[BoujiSnail]

Dd goes to a quite alternative school in a big city. The class is made up of very different kids but one thing I find strange is that the parents never talk about work. We live in an expensive part of the city and it seems to be me and dp are working full time, some of the European parents work ridiculously hard yet we all live in smaller houses in rougher areas. There is a large majority of parents who live in huge, £300,000 houses who do every pick up and are always on the WhatsApp group all hours of the day.
I always imagined that they worked from home during school hours and maybe stayed up all hours on Skype calls to China but during the Covid drama I've realised that this doesn't seem to be the case as they're all out on bike rides, teaching intricate geography lessons using the various items they've collected on their world travels and genuinely having a lovely time. They don't want to send their kids back until September so obviously not struggling too much.
If I sound jealous it's because I am! What is there secret? How can both parents be free every day and not seem to struggle financially? I'm dying here, working every day, striving for that promotion, promising that I will definitely play Lego as soon as I've done this meeting. Just for us to pay the mortgage on our ex council house. I pull up to little Jago's massive house where the mum is an artist and the dad is a gardener and think what am I missing?

Inheritance / trust fund

Very few people will walk into a lucrative business that doesn't need much effort. That almost always comes after many years of hard work, long hour, debt and general struggling.

People might have had to try several options before they hit the jackpot, so to speak. Possibly combined with an inheritance or releasing of housing equity, eg moving to a smaller house and/or cheaper area.

Working families I know are splitting the childcare.

Parent one gets up at 5am works through until 9
Parent two gets up with child/ren, does breakfast, washing, dressing and sorting out first ‘lesson’ for 9am.
Parent one does lessons until 11am then plays with child/ren
Parent two works 9am until 1pm
Family have lunch together and then take daily exercise until 2:30.
Parent one takes a power nap of 20-30 minutes.Then works until 6pm
Parent two does ‘lessons’ 2:30 until 4:30.Then works until 6pm
Child watches tv or plays games on their iPad until 6pm.
They all make dinner together or one parent plays with children.
One parent does bath and bedtime, then does more work until they are done while other parent works until they are done.

All the families I know doing something along these lines usually have an hour plus commute each way so by not going into the office they are gaining 2 plus hours a day! (All though some of the mums do work on the commute, none of the dads do, make what you will of that!)

I live in the wrong area clearly. A quick Rightmove search for £300,000 max in my area leaves me with the choice of 5 x 1 bed flats to choose from. This is why I feel my kids will never get to leave home, unless they start again totally in another area totally.

Tell us where and I’ll buy one tomorrow
300k where I live gets you a crappy 2 bed bungalow or a 2 bed new apartment

300k wouldn’t buy a flat round here!

People probably think that about my DH & myself
Always at home or just going out walking the dogs . No set patter for a obvious job. Nice new cars, big house for just the two of us

We had just come back from a month long holiday in Feb and had others planned which have gone tits up due to covid 19 .
But my DH inherited a lot of property years ago along with industrial type storage units from a relative and he’s built on that which now gives us plenty of freedom and money .

And he still works part time in his self employed business 3-4 days a week every other week
I just married him 😂

@amispeakingenglish I've spoken about it before on Mumsnet, I've said what industries (art supplies and recruitment the two main ones) on this thread - I'd happily set up a thread but from my experience, there's usually a lot of grief and accusations of lying . It's difficult to talk about without being accused of being smug, or patronising and there's always the posters that come on to give a good bash about privilege too. I've found that success is quite often scorned in the UK, as if one should know ones place.
I was bought up by a single mother who had so little money she often chose between nappies and food, we moved around a lot (I attended 11 schools), my father was abusive (i finally ditched him in my early twenties) and I had two abusive step fathers. I have several significant health issues that are limiting, which require me to be on medication for life - I inherited no money and I'm a millenial (I'm 28) - so no housing boom benefits either.
In my opinion, if I can do it - anyone can, I am not special and I had no advantages. My only significant privledge was to be born in the UK - so the same advantage as 67 million others.

Very few people will walk into a lucrative business that doesn't need much effort. That almost always comes after many years of hard work, long hour, debt and general struggling.

This is very true.
I was about £20,000 in debt just 4 years ago (had an ex that stole a lot of money), I worked 2 jobs and had two side businesses. I lived in what could only be described as a fancy slum in the Midlands for a year. I've had two businesses fail really badly - and several just sort of flop. It doesn't come easy.

There is a large majority of parents who live in huge, £300,000 houses

Can you let me know where these huge 300 grand houses are? I'll sell up my normal sized one and move to a huge one!

£300k houses are hardly top end of the market

There are tiny 2 beds with paper thin walls, along the dual carriageway going for that much in my part of london.

Sorry, huge £300,000 house made me smile. Gosh, if only.

In Bristol 300k will still buy you an ok house, I don't live in the arse end of nowhere. The city is full of ex Londoners.

You are 28, have a mortgage and children. To be honest, you are doing fantastically already. Give it time. By the time you are 45, which is no longer an unusual age to still have small children, your kids will be grown up. You will probably have sold your property and have a bigger one, and much more. It's normal to be jealous, but it seems to me you are doing well already!

At your age, I had only just finished university 🙂

OpenWheelRace
I think you must be very special, you are doing yourself down. You are very inspiring and put me to shame. The bit I don't get is how you actually start.?? You are right about the sniping in the UK. I love Joe Wicks, he is inspirational too. Yet one person I know said they had heard something dodgy about him, he said he admired Margaret Thatcher!! I am not a fan of her to say the least as old enough to have lived through the miners strike etc. I suspect he is talking of her work ethic and strength. The point is they have never listened to him and just picked on one thing that could be considered a negative. I hate that. Art supplies was something If was looking at (as an artist). I have spent a long time bringing up kids, lost my pension and don't have the energy I had when younger. I have had a lot of opportunities I haven't grasped( due to idiocy and not thinking ahead or seeing how other could be of benefit to me) and lost a lot money on one venture basically all my savings. What I (& suspect many others) don't get is how to start. What comes first? Do you do it through the Amazon platform or do you have a website? Are you good at Instagram etc or does someone do it for you. How do you start with no much capital if any?? Do you brand your products?

I didn't leave uni till 26 as had a horrible experience with schools and worked before going back to education.

I want something that will pay me a living and give me time to do art? Sick of going around open studios seeing women with partners who basically fund them and they have their hobby, yes still there are a lot like this even in the 21st C.

Is this just during lockdown? Are they furloughed?

Well that’s your answer in part. If you can buy a big house for 300 k then lots of people moving from London will have made that in equity over ten years . Therefore no mortgage. And no mortgage really really cuts down how much you need to earn to cover costs

Also surely you are relatively young compared to the other parents. Therefore they have probably had another ten years to build up equity, career level etc.

Eg I work part time but earn more in real terms than I did ten years ago because I am so much more experienced

Everyone I know spent their twenties working flat out and are now more senior so have flexibility around time etc.

Then had children

You really shouldn’t compare yourself with people a decade older than yourself as even though you all have children the same age they are simply at a different life stage

300k here will buy you a 4 bed detached with plenty of land. What money buys you will vary hugely depending on whereabouts you are in the country, so it's not really an indicator of much. If you've bought a small house in an expensive area, you can sell up and buy a huge property somewhere much cheaper without too much effort on your part.

Hingeandbracket
I'd love to know what business I could design so I get loads of cash and have to do nearly fuck all.

Justine earns £25k a month although I assume she does some work - maybe you could start the next MN?

Old money.

Mind you, with 300k, you'd be lucky to get a 1 bed in a good area here in Edinburgh.

What now? What city has “huge” houses for £300,000? Are you in the capital city of Shetland?

£300,000 will buy you a couple of garages in an alley, where I am. Maybe £200,000 if it’s particularly ramshackle set-up.

OP I know exactly the sort of people you're talking about, there are a lot around where I live.

I often wonder how the parents at the school gates, who are an artist & environmental lobbyist, survive. They don't seem to be arting or lobbying much so have a lot of free time. IME this freedom comes from:

1. Family money - inheritance & house bought for them makes a good life.

1. Moving from London and using proceeds to buy property for cash + extra money. No mortgage & no debt means low living costs and boho freedom.

1. Property as income - has kept property in London and make 3k/month in renting it out.

1. DH works part-time as a 'consultant' - if you have one of the above then one in the couple only needs to work part-time if in a high salary role, like the proverbial 'IT consultant'.

Having no. 1 makes nos. 2-4 easier and often being able to 2-4 relies on having a wealthy family as a buffer.

@Waferbiscuit thank you! Yes I have no idea. It's just hard when you're telling your children 'mummy and daddy have to go to work to buy food and pay for our house' when little Elsie's mum does every pick up and drop off and has enough time to make the best World Book Day costume and volunteer on a weekly basis!