What do they do that I don't?

[BoujiSnail]

Dd goes to a quite alternative school in a big city. The class is made up of very different kids but one thing I find strange is that the parents never talk about work. We live in an expensive part of the city and it seems to be me and dp are working full time, some of the European parents work ridiculously hard yet we all live in smaller houses in rougher areas. There is a large majority of parents who live in huge, £300,000 houses who do every pick up and are always on the WhatsApp group all hours of the day.
I always imagined that they worked from home during school hours and maybe stayed up all hours on Skype calls to China but during the Covid drama I've realised that this doesn't seem to be the case as they're all out on bike rides, teaching intricate geography lessons using the various items they've collected on their world travels and genuinely having a lovely time. They don't want to send their kids back until September so obviously not struggling too much.
If I sound jealous it's because I am! What is there secret? How can both parents be free every day and not seem to struggle financially? I'm dying here, working every day, striving for that promotion, promising that I will definitely play Lego as soon as I've done this meeting. Just for us to pay the mortgage on our ex council house. I pull up to little Jago's massive house where the mum is an artist and the dad is a gardener and think what am I missing?

So might it be age. I'm 28. Most of the other parents are a decade or so older than me. Could they have worked really hard at my age so they could have it a bit easier now? Is that the right way to do it? I

@VeniceQueen2004 thanks for your reply. I know jealousy achieves nothing and it's not material items. It's that we're so damn time poor. I've just stayed an hour later in the office to get some court documents sent off and I'll probably work on my laptop tonight from 9-11 to get my training database ready to submit. I've just got a promotion but it's at the detriment of my family, who come second. I have £5,000 on a credit card and we live frugally.

Long pause and open wheel, still curious to know what your businesses are, but I guess that would be telling

Yes @listsandbudgets I know what you mean. I do slightly

Inheritance/trust funds
Property income (renting lots of properties out, usually bought through the above means of inheritance)
Sold a house in London for 2mil that they bought when they were 25 for much much less and then pocketed the profit
Had kids much later in life when they’d had chance to do this instead of in their 20s when they were still working on their careers. I know a few families like this and the dads are in their late 50’s / early sixties with 7/8/9 year olds so have literally had a lifetime to earn money

They didn't have kids until they were settled.

Ten years ago, a couple near us had this amazing lifestyle. Lots of the neighbours were envious and kissed arse to get into their social circle.

They didn’t gel with us at all, and we joked that they must be drug dealers to have such an easy life with so much disposable income.

Turns out they were…

MN always surprises me, I thought we were doing ok buying our own house and not being on benefits but apparently we're still not selfless or proactive enough to make sure that we are semi retired by the time we procreate!

'Are bad off' appalling grammar

@littlemeitslyn sorry what?

@BoujiSnail well personally you only have to look at the fertility threads on here to see waiting for the perfect moment to start a family is not a foolproof method

There’s definitely downsides to waiting til you’re 40+ to have kids , some things money can’t buy

Thank you. Also if was raised by my grandparents and I very badly wanted them to have a few years with my dc's. They are incredible people and I needed their emotional support with my DC's. If I had waited till I was 40, they would have been in their eighties.

@BoujiSnail that’s lovely. My parents still work; they’re only in their late 50s. It’s lovely to see how involved they are with their grandkids lives. We socialize together, etc. some of dc’s friends have never known grandparents. And that’s fine, because that isn’t for everyone and we all have different dynamics. But there are up and downsides to everything

Thanks everyone for being so kind.

When it's like that I've found it's usually inheritance or living family have helped them out/old money.

Would you help your family to not work though. If your daughter wanted to be a STAHP but her partner didn't earn enough to financially support that, would you give them money to stay at home? I'm not judging I'm just asking.

I bought my house for half a million. Maybe they made money on a previous house and walked away with a few bob. Often it’s just luck op.

Bought my first house when I was 19 and that gave me a bit of a hand up.

I’m an Accountant.

Yes, I would help my children if I could, that’s the whole point I suppose.

I'm curious to know where are these "huge, £300,000 houses" ?
Certainly nowhere near me.

Is it a typo for £3,000,000 ?

@LockdownLisa where abouts are you in the north east? That’s where I live.

When I say huge I mean a nice sized three or four bed.
We're in the South West.

1. I don't talk about work because talking about work is rude and boring.

1. Work from home by getting up early, spending time assisting the kids where needed - however, encouraging them to be self-driven. Can do a bit in the evening. Choosing your own time.

Many jobs don't insist on full-on 9-6 presentation on Zoom, so you can be more flexible about when the tasks get done. I find my industry is very good with this, trusting staff to crack on, and remote working has been popular for a long time.

A bike ride isn't a big chunk of the day. Nor is getting the children started on a piece of work. That's basically an hour.

@handbagsatdawn33 The North.