To tell my dads new gf he's abusive

[Teaandbiscuitsdaily]

So a year and a half ago my dads wife had an affair, they tried to work it would be 6 weeks later he ended up loosing his temper and released an attack on her breaking her nose and causing injury to her face which resulted to 5 months in prison. He stopped because my little sisters barged in. He even admitted himself that if my sisters didn't barge in he could've ended up killing her because he had flipped into a fit of rage and only snapped out of it when the kids disrupted him

This is not an isolated incident tho, 10 years earlier he has broken my step mums arm and beat her up a few times but seemed to have changed and nothing for 10 years

Before that he had inficlicted serious domestic violence on my mum including strangling in front of us children, he ran her over and multiple other incidents of pure torture.

It's really hard for me as I have a lot of emotional issues myself possibly caused by the violence and mind games I endured from my father myself

He is proud to admit he is the master of mind games. Although I am now realising there are many things I do not like about my dad and he has even tried to ruin my own relationship.

He has been in a new relationship with a women for around 2 months. He has admitted to her about the incident a year and a half ago that lead to his incarceration but nothing else and they seem so happy...may I add he was in prison 23 years ago for cutting someone up with a Stanley blade.

I feel so torn as to whether I should tell her and rein holy hell on my own life because I know my father is capable of it and will she even take note or act on love is blind.

I want to protect her but I will admit part of this is for me to dish him what he's done.

Should I leave well alone or should I tell her?

Thanks

An anonymous letter seems a good halfway house. Make sure there is nothing not in the public domain otherwise he will trace it back to the 'insider'. Also mention she should contact the police and invoke Clare's law

I think sending the letter let the right thing to do. Yes, she may ignore it, but at least you will have done what you can.

You need to ring his probation officer and explain your concerns and that you feel he hasn't disclosed everything.

They will take it from there.

They are working from home but call the office and state who you are and that you want to talk to his probation officer.

Please do this, this poor woman is highly likely to suffer similar.

Can I just add: If you know more incidents that have taken place that the police and probation don't know about them they are only assessing him based on what they know, which doesn't sound like a lot.

If there is more to the storey they may prevent him from living with her and can get other agencies involved.

Their job is to prevent him reoffending and support the family, including you. Don't write a letter as there is no evidence of this and if he finds it he may be angry and take it out on her.

Presumably ss are happy foir your sister to live with him? And you are as well?
What do you want to happen.? For his new gf to leave?

You can inform his probation officer of your concerns.
Anonymous letters will look badly on you. He will surely know who is the origin if these are events only you witnessed.

Social Services and his probation officer.

Then cut him out of your life.

The police should have details of all call outs to his address, not just those prosecuted which will give them a complete picture. They can then decíde which to disclose under Claires law so I'd still recommend that over other options. Then it's not linkable to you if they disclose incidents not in the public domain.

Sorry to contradict a pp, but you absolutely can ask for a Claires Law disclosure for someone else, BUT only if you have reason to believe there is something amiss, which you do. I believe you need to give your details to the police, but can ask for these not to be disclosed to her.