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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Going back to work or school and social distancing

56 replies

whoosit · 17/05/2020 20:10

I'm going back to work, my child is due to go back to school. I will need to get public transport for some of these journies. So should I still be socially distancing and not seeing my family or friends? It seems like I'm getting all the rubbish parts of life like work and school, the drudgery of it all, but none of the positives. So if they're opening schools and work places why cant we have some of the good parts of life? If my kid is exposed to people at school and I'm exposed to people at work why not just allow us to flow free?

Test, track and trace is not in place so why am I safer at work, my kid and his teachers safer at school than I am with my family?

OP posts:
starrynight19 · 17/05/2020 20:13

I don’t know the answer but I feel exactly the same op

ChablisandCrisps · 17/05/2020 20:13

DH and I both key workers so we have been working and children have been in childcare the whole time. We still aren't seeing family, bar mu MIL from the field she owns next to her house and we chat over the fence from about 10m away. I get what you are saying, and maybe if MIL wasn't vulnerable it might be different and we would properly visit I don't know, but I don't think working means the restrictions end for us.

cardibach · 17/05/2020 20:14

I know how you feel, but actually the fact you’re exposed to more people and more chances of infection is a very good argument for avoiding your loved ones for a bit...

Original poster
whoosit · 17/05/2020 20:16

Do you think this will mean people will start doing what they want from 1st june? I'f you're back at work and kids are mixing why cant they play together in the park or family meer for a cup of tea. It surely cant be one rule for work and one for social life.

OP posts:
Original poster
whoosit · 17/05/2020 20:17

Do you think this will mean people will start doing what they want from 1st june? If you're back at work and kids are mixing why cant they play together in the park or family meer for a cup of tea. It surely cant be one rule for work and one for social life.

OP posts:
GrimmsFairytales · 17/05/2020 20:18

Do you think this will mean people will start doing what they want from 1st june?

A lot of people round my way aren't even waiting for the 1st June. There's been a noticeable increase in mixed gatherings and children playing together since before VE day. More people going back to work / school will definitely increase the amount even further.

ScarletFever · 17/05/2020 20:20

I'm getting all the rubbish parts of life like work and school, oh you are so right, its all a bit shit right now.

MIL has been taken to hospital, heart problems, DH wants to be there to help, obviously.

Hang in there, stay doing the right thing, and we will get through to the other side!

Rainycloudyday · 17/05/2020 20:21

I think there’s a very strong common sense argument to visit family before going back to school/work/nursery, if you’re thinking of doing it soon. Surely now, when we’ve been locked down for weeks, we’re as ‘safe’ as we’re going to be for a long time? I have been following all the rules but honestly I will not contemplate not seeing my family for months more (and they feel the same) so if the official guidance doesn’t allow it, we will make our own assessment of risk and do as we see fit. And I would rather do that at the point that is genuinely safest, which in my book is before 1st June.

sst1234 · 17/05/2020 20:40

There are hundreds of thousands who have been doing this since start of lockdown. Going to work everyday to keep the economy going and paying taxes so you could be furloughed.

Original poster
whoosit · 17/05/2020 20:46

Yeah, I appreciate that and have family members furloughed and redundant. My husband, brother and sister in law for example But I was wondering about why I couldn't see them (and my mom, or friends) if I am back at work and my kid is back in school. In terms of passing on infection etc...

OP posts:
Original poster
whoosit · 17/05/2020 20:48

I've actually been working from home 8-6 and will now be back in work 8-6 so no furlough pay for me.

OP posts:
Generallybewildered · 17/05/2020 20:53

Because this isn’t about you as an individual it’s about all of us as a society.

We are entering a recession. If you want an NHS in 20 years we need to work. In order to work children need to be in school.
S

Original poster
whoosit · 17/05/2020 20:55

My kids dont need to be in school because my husband is at home. It's more about the infection rate etc that I'm asking. Is it safe to go about our business now if we are all back at work or school? Because I'd really like to see my friends and family!

OP posts:
ChablisandCrisps · 17/05/2020 21:01

Is it safe to go about our business now if we are all back at work or school? Because I'd really like to see my friends and family! you don't think the millions of us who have not stopped going to work don't feel like this too?! Grow up OP!

Original poster
whoosit · 17/05/2020 21:06

Can you explain why one is safe and the other isn't? I am genuinely interested to hear the point of view.

OP posts:
Rainycloudyday · 17/05/2020 21:08

It isn’t that one is safe and the other isn’t. It’s that both carry risk but one also brings economic benefit, the other doesn’t.

Yes there are emotional benefits to seeing family but the government is prioritising allowing what will stop economic collapse.

Ginfilledcats · 17/05/2020 21:14

Because if you go to work you're already mixing with x amount of people, as necessary. If you then add your family in too, it's x + y. Therefore more people mixing therefore more risk of infection. Simple maths.

Not that I agree; but seeing family is less necessary than school and work (and I desperately want to see family) but as pp said, if you want your child to socialise and be educated, if you want to earn money and keep the economy going you need to go to work!

Artesia · 17/05/2020 21:14

As PP said, on a societal level we need to start working, but we also need to limit interactions as far as possible, hence going back to work but not socialising. Also, you are way less likely to hug or kiss fellow commuters or coworkers than you are when you see close family.

ifonly4 · 17/05/2020 21:19

I've been working part-time during lockdown. I'll be going back to my second job at a school, feeling very uncomfortable about but has to be done. Especially with going back to the school, I definitely can't see my Mum properly for another few weeks as I'd never forgive myself if I passed it on. Also would love to see my lovely Aunt and Uncle but no chance. It's hard.

howrudeforme · 17/05/2020 21:29

@sst1234 - paying for furlough? Yup and many of those people will not have a job to go back to.

I thought this country had a chance to get back on the same page now Brexit is ‘buried’.

But it’s really about the economy.

zafferana · 17/05/2020 21:37

The more people you come into contact with and the closer that contact, the more likely it is to pass on the virus. At school and at work you shouldn't be touching other people and where possible you should maintain 2m distance. If you can't do this (e.g. on public transport) you should wear a face mask. People are being told not to see family and friends, because the chance they will be able to stay 2m apart is much lower than with strangers/colleagues. It really isn't that hard to understand!

Original poster
whoosit · 17/05/2020 21:47

What about when my kids are back at school? I'm sure they said there would be no 2m distancing there? And when I pick him up wont there be loads of parents milling around. With the people I will see at work, the parents at school pick up, the people on the bus, the kids and their associated family he will mix with at school plus the weekly supermarket shop I'll be mixing with everyone apart from my own family and friends. I'm not talking about vulnerable family or friends of course, but just the healthy ones who are living their lives in the same way I will be. Really, it seems like social distancing wont in lots of places so coming home and living like a hermit is ridiculous.

OP posts:
Original poster
whoosit · 17/05/2020 21:48

And I'm sure I can control myself and not kiss or hug them. We just want a chat and a a catch up!

OP posts:
Lovelydovey · 17/05/2020 21:50

Surely it’s the other way around - if you are in more contact with others through work and school, then it makes sense to avoid others to minimise the risk of passing it on. Slightly counterintuitive I know - but we’ve said that we won’t meet my mum - even with social distancing in parks as we are now - once we are in contact with others.

zafferana · 17/05/2020 21:50

You're allowed to chat to them and catch up outside with 2m between you, so go ahead. Just one at a time.

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