How often do you play with your 4/5 year old?

[Losingitihope]

I feel really bad admitting it, but I hate playing with my child, I always have. I do sometimes bake, encourage verbal ‘games’ but don’t often play in the more traditional sense.
He doesn’t like to play alone and loves company, but I find playing so draining. I feel like I always say I can’t when he asks or I’ve got something else to do. But ultimately I just really don’t like it.

I know it’s so horrible and selfish of me and every night I regret that haven’t played that day and worry that will affect our future closeness.
Is anyone else like this? How long do you spend a day roughly playing with your 4/5 year old? His dad is amazing and plays a lot with him. Am I the only terrible mum?

Do you do loto, or snakes and ladders type things with him? How about construction type games such as lego? What sort of things do you do with you child considering not at school at the mo.

Hardly ever. Mines 6 now but I’ve never really sat and played with her. We do crafts and baking etc but I won’t sit and play with her toys or join in her imaginary games. I find it so boring and I honestly can’t be arsed 🤷‍♀️

I hate it too. I don’t mind activities like the poster above but the imaginary play I despise.

If she asks loads I set the timer for 20 minutes then there is an end goal for her to know when time is up.

I spend quite a lot of time playing. The imagination games do get a bit repetitive/ tiresome, but okay if mixed up with other stuff eg jigsaws, lego, craft etc. I find it can be interesting eg today my ds was role playing being me :" dont make a mess daddy" "I'm proud of you baby" "where's my phone?" etc. I liked seeing how he interpreted the roles of different people. a

Every day. But now he’s at the age where he wants to play board games, jigsaws, football, hide and seek, baking, craft/making things etc. I never played cars or trains etc.

Some of my best memories are when my parents sat and played with me. It doesn't have to be for long - could you manage board games or something maybe? I used to love when my dad played scrabble with me as a kid! I was easily pleased

I think it's so sad that a PP "can't be arsed".

I hate the small world role play stuff and avoid that as much as possible, but will do it occasionally because it's her favourite thing.

I'll do role play a bit (shops etc.), but try and limit it.

I'll spend ages doing puzzles, board games, drawing, craft, baking, football/catch though so I don't feel too bad about the other stuff.

I do think you should make the effort to engage with them for a good period everyday, particularly at the moment. Just try and bend it round to something you find tolerable!

Thank you. I’m glad I’m not the only one but also glad others are more proactive. I do play sometimes but feel guilty that it’s not enough, I also have a young baby that takes up a lot of time, but that’s no excuse.

Tomorrow is a new day and I’m going to start new habits, I’d hate for him to feel he’s missed out.

Arghh how do you all manage to get out of it? I'm sat playing 'lego star wars characters celebrate each others birthdays' for literally hours of the day during lockdown. If I don't he whines and moans for snacks and tv. We're just getting to the point where he'll play for an hour independently but that's about it.

It's obviously a lot harder with a young baby home as well but I find having a podcast or something in the background makes it more tolerable.

I hate playing and will only do the things I enjoy too. So I’ve found the things we can do together - board games, jigsaws, baking, bike rides etc.
The role play and toys.. no way

I sometimes just tell her 'no, I don't like that game' and offer her something else. I'll just say 'no, I don't want to play ghost in the dolls house, we can make cupcakes if you like?'. She can choose to either play by herself or do baking with me. I think that's fair!

This morning we played shops for about 30 minutes before I lost the will to live.
Baked some biscuits together.
Dd5 played independently for an hour or so
Had a tea party with alllll of the soft toys and some juice and biscuits. Dd is better at voices then me (her words but true) so she narrates for everyone and I got to sit and cram biscuits in my face.
Made play dough together and spent an hour making various things.
I enjoy spending time with her and I love watching how her brain and her imagination work. If you don’t want to do imagination/role play try board games, simple card games like snap, baking or arts and crafts.

I hate it too. Board games I don't mind but only for an hour or so and baking and crafts but imaginary play - I don't know how anyone does it without losing the will. My biggest nightmAre is the words "do you want to come to my restaurant?"

I can’t bear it. Happily play board games, read books, chat and do outdoor activities (eg we go and catch frogs, long nature walks etc), sometimes join in with crafts but no frigging way am I talking in an American accent and pretending to be “Ellie”
My DD is 5 too

This makes me feel so much better, I thought it was just me I don't know what it is but the role play games Barbie's etc I just cannot do yet her dad will sit and play for hours with her and it makes.me feel like shit. Crafts, jigsaws, colouring in, baking, board games and Lego is much more my style and I will happily play or do those activities but role playing games makes me want to stick a fork in my eye.

I loved playing when my daughter was that age. Younger was taxing but I enjoy being silly and doing voices etc so it was never a chore. Finding the time is difficult but worth it.

I'll happily do puzzles, Lego etc but hate imaginary play.

I dont, I'll play the odd board game, help with jigsaws, talk about her game when she involves me, help woth dolls outfit changes,but my kids know I don't play. I don't think parents are supposed to be their play mates. Mine play independently all day without my input.
I don't ever remember "playing" as a child, nothing with imagination anyway. I had dolls that I dressed up and brushed their hair but I didn't make up things or act things out.

I play games like snap and pairs with mine. Tried to play connect 4 with a 4 year old but he just likes putting the coins in regardless of whose turn it is. We play Lego too but truthfully, I play with him sporadically.

This thread is very reassuring because I find it so draining and I hate it but feel like a terrible mother, particularly at the moment as he has no children to interact with.
Like PP I try to do things that I can enjoy...things that "have a point" like crafts and baking.
Cosmic kids is great as its yoga you can do together and he thinks that is a game.
We've started doing a game where I draw a treasure map of the living room and we take it in turns to hide the 'treasure' and put an X on the map for the other to find and that is quite fun.

Interesting thread. My 4 year old is obsessed with imaginary/role play games and since lockdown has become even more so. I really, really despise it - I will happily do crafts, bake, colour in, puzzles, books etc, but she has zero interest in those right now. Husband is much better at it, and I do feel very guilty and a bit sad that I don’t do it more.

I’ve been trying to just get on with it lately, because she’s clearly very lonely for her friends, and we spend so much time together (husband still going out to work), I don’t want her to feel insecure/neglected (iykwim - obviously she isn’t actually neglected!). I’ve been setting timers and so on, which has helped a bit. It’s hard though, because I’ve a 1.5 year old as well - he has to be supervised constantly or he will climb/fall/eat dirt etc, so we never really get a run of more than 10 minutes, which is not enough for her. But an hour wouldn’t be enough for her, tbh. It’s hard.

I find it sad that people can't stand playing with their children maybe try different games instead? His about dancing or singing surely that's always fun and makes you laugh? Musical statues/bumps or how about sleeping lions or hide n seek or maybe let them do your hair/paint or see what they can make with play dough and guess what it is or go to park and spot flowers/wildlife or pick flowers and press them so many things you can do together there must be something you would enjoy. Even making up crap jokes or doing impressions of animals or pulling faces u don't have to pretend to drink endless cups of pretend tea

I have dd who are 6 and 8 and they do loads of imaginary play with each other with dolls, Playmobil and Sylvanians. I've never had to join in! They are often very busy putting them to bed, which takes hours and involves a lot of arguments about which bed to use.

They do love me to do other things either one to one or as a three - jigsaw, crafts and baking most common. The worst for me is colouring as it's so boring but at Least we chat at the same time.

We are together 24/7 at the mo but it's amazing how the dc clock if I spend less time with them than the sibling. I try to ask them what they want to do with me and we have one to one every day.