Should I be offended?

[doublestriker]

Got this message from someone on bumble! Should I be offended? AIBU?

I wouldn’t take it to heart - but it does makes a difference when you get a message tat is vaguely interesting / catches your attention.

They’re probably just disillusioned and frustrated with the whole process.
Absolutely no need for the rudeness tho so I wouldn’t be responding..

But it is dull. When you get 10s-100s messages, ‘hi, how are you’ is incredibly boring.

Showing that you’ve taken the time to look at someone’s profile makes that person much more interesting. It doesn’t have to be much effort, but it makes you more personable rather than just looking like a bot.

It's unnecessarily unpleasant - he's trying to you put in a position where your next 'line' has to be to apologise or defend yourself. 'Hi, how are you?' is a perfectly acceptable way of starting a conversation and probably better than making a contrived attempt to sound 'quirky' or making a joke that, without knowing the recipient, might be inappropriate.

I couldn't be bothered with someone who felt they had to score cheap points like that from the word go.

I'd be tempted to reply - 'Yes, you're right, I probably am too boring for you. Glad you picked up on it before I wasted any more of my time.'

Him frustrated about that does not mean it's "dull".
I think people have tried to be helpful in giving their own experiences of OLD. If you don't think it's dull, that's fine, carry on, but many, many people do think it's incredibly dull and won't give you a chance I'm afraid.

Not offended but I wouldn’t bother replying

I’d just ignore it. Anyone who’s on such a high horse that they get offended about a perfectly normal greeting is only going to be a tedious headache. Be thankful you got such an early red flag!

I agree with @Pelleas’ reply. Move on OP, it might be dull but it’s not really going to be a great romance if your first message is him criticising you.

He/she is a total arse! Block and move on.

He sounds like a bit of a tit.

I'm guessing he was just trying to be funny and have a bit of banter, but a little too early for that I think!

Are people really saying they like his style?

It’s negging which is really emotionally manipulative and nasty, why would you like that?

Are people really saying they like his style?

I think his style is awful and would warrant an automatic block, but that doesn’t mean what he said isn’t true!

Love @Pelleas reply!! Please do that and let us know what he says

He sounds a bit up his own arse but it’s not exactly an inspired opening either!

This person is rude. Its as if they expect you to entertain them. It's entitled too. Fuck that.

You could answer "You are right! I wasn't enthusiastic about your profile and it shows. I'll move on swiftly to someone I could get excited about."

People who judge others on their first message on a dating app are insufferable pricks.

You've never been in contact with this person before so of course 'hi, how are you?' is fine as an opener - you have to start somewhere. It's where the connection goes from there that counts.

@doublestriker he sounds like a complete twat, and incredibly patronising. I'd probably tell him exactly that, then block him (but that's just me). Good luck with finding someone who isn't a total penis

Agree with the others, it's negging - a trick from the world of "pick up artists".

I'd reply with something pointing that out.

"Nothing more dull than a man who has to rely on twatty PUA tricks to speak to women..."

Two things that would make me disengage:

1. He was rude. Maybe it wasn’t the most exciting conversation starter (what is?!) but he was rude to say that to you.
2. He said girls. Can’t be doing with that. Women. Adults! Do not infantilise or patronise people by calling them a term that refers to children!

He is negging you.

It is a deliberate psychological tactic.

Google how to get a girl to do anything you want using negging.

Do not engage. Do not take it personally. Block immediately.

People who judge others on their first message on a dating app are insufferable pricks.

That’s literally the point of OLD.... judge someone by their photos and messages?!

Rude.

I think it's fine to ask how they are to start, sometimes there is nothing on their profile to ask them about anyway.

That's not really the issue though, the issue is that he has an attitude problem and is probably a big ol'narcissist. Immediately giving it 'impress me' is common with their kind.

Block.

No way he's talked to EVERY "girl" on the site - and even if had HAD, why is his first comment to you insulting not just you but EVERY "girl"? Are you supposed to agree that gIrLs aRe StuP1D n 1cKy now? I'd block him and his amateur red pill schtick - he'll appreciate the extra time to spend with his fingers.

Yup he was rude and who does he think he is? His "I'm disappointed.." line sounds like a teacher telling off students. What a twat he sounds. I would block and move on.

Can't be doing with him calling women "girls" either. It sounds like he expects you all to be on that site simply to entertain him with your witty opening lines.

I didn’t say that did I @TedandJill personally I think the opening message was fine however, if others think it’s dull and would prefer something with a little more effort that’s up to them (and him) but there’s no need to resort to emotionally abusive tactics.

I'd reply with God on then, show me how it's done' 😜 I have seen whole threads on here about how women dislike lazy messages from guys on OLD sites. Give him one more chance.