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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you hate to attend a Zoom hen party?

67 replies

Coffeeandteach · 14/05/2020 19:08

Less of an AIBU and more what do you think?

My hen party, that I planned myself, was meant to be next weekend. Today, a friend asked if I want a hen party on Zoom. I appreciate the sentiment but is it a bit shit for all involved? They don't all know each other and it has the potential to be really awkward. I've been told I should be more open minded but all I can think about is how much everyone else will hate it and I'll just end up feeling even shitter.

YANBU- I would hate to attend
YABU- I would attend

OP posts:
TabbyMumz · 14/05/2020 19:18

I wouldnt attend. What does everyone do, just sit and look at each other? Would feel a bit like a work meeting.

zscaler · 14/05/2020 19:22

I would attend to be supportive but I agree that it will probably be awkward if they don’t all know each other.

I’m so sorry your hen party has been cancelled Sad

NailsNeedDoing · 14/05/2020 19:22

I’d do it for a friend if they wanted me to, but because Id hate to let them down rather than because I think it would be fun. If your friend wants to do something, maybe encourage her to organise your hens to make a video for you.

chipsandpeas · 14/05/2020 19:23

id do it for a friend but would hate every moment

Bertucci · 14/05/2020 19:23

Noooo. Awful idea.

OhioOhioOhio · 14/05/2020 19:24

I'd hate it.

AGoodDay · 14/05/2020 19:24

It would need to have a LOT of organised fun. Or a pamper type could work.
It would really depend on who else was there though. But since someone else wants to organise it just go with it, it sounds like multiple people are already interested.

arethereanyleftatall · 14/05/2020 19:24

I would hate it.

AriadnesFilament · 14/05/2020 19:24

It sounds hideous tbh

Kenworthington · 14/05/2020 19:25

It doesn’t sound much fun does it? I wouldn’t join I’m afraid but then I don’t enjoy group chats or anything like that. I’d go to a hen party for a very very close friend. But I choose not to go on hen dos either if I can get away with it. Hmmm. Perhaps I’m not your target audience!

Didntwanttochangemyname · 14/05/2020 19:25

I'm in a similar boat but no, I'd hate to have or attend a zoom hen. By all means have a zoom with a couple of friends, but the minute you make it into a hen thing it'll get really awkward.

Cynara · 14/05/2020 19:25

I would do it out of a sense of duty but I would hate it. I'm really sorry your hen party has been caught up in these times.Flowers

AndMyHairWillShineLikeTheSea · 14/05/2020 19:26

I would attend but I wouldn't enjoy it. Sorry op.

HollowTalk · 14/05/2020 19:27

Just make it nearer to your new wedding date.

sonjadog · 14/05/2020 19:28

How many people and do they know each other well? I do a Zoom online activity each week and it only really works for social chat with 4-5 people. Any more than that and someone if left out and it is hard for everyone to be included. If you don´t know everyone from before, it will be even harder to create a fun atmosphere.

But if you are a small group and know each other well, then drinking wine and chatting on Zoom can be a fun way to spend an evening. My friends and I have done this a few times.

user1519475227 · 14/05/2020 19:28

My friend had 1 as lockdown happened the week before we were due to have it. It lasted around 4 hours, different friendship groups so no one really knew each other. By then end everyone was pretty much drunk. We played 2 truths and a lie.

It was a good night.

EnthusiasmIsDisturbed · 14/05/2020 19:31

Of course I would for a friend

I wouldn’t particularly enjoy it I don’t like being on camera it makes me feel uncomfortable

Notverygrownup · 14/05/2020 19:31

Depends how it is organised. If friend is putting the time in, to think it through, it could be fun. And if there's no pressure to stay for hours, it would be better. You could take the pressure off and say that instead of having a hen party, you would just love everyone to bring along a glass and say hello.

I'd go along for a friend and probably enjoy chatting/meeting people/drinking wine - after all, folks can always leave a Zoom meeting and blame a dodgy connection!

DS had a Zoom birthday party last week, which involved quiz style games. There was a lot of laughter and although it was planned to last an hour and a half, they were still going strong three hours later.

SinglePringle · 14/05/2020 19:32

It’s the perfect Hen! No money, no travel, no hideous activities! Grin

Friends and I meet on Zoom every week for a bottle of wine and a ‘pub quiz’. It lasts around 2 hours and then some stay on for a few more drinks, some leave.

If you / your MOH did a quiz and accept that people can leave when they want, can’t see the issue. Also, a colleague had her Hen on Zoom and dances till 3am. It work if your friends buy in. I would absolutely do this for a friend and I would make it my business to enjoy it for her.

Pinkblueberry · 14/05/2020 19:33

If you were my friend I would do it for you, but I wouldn’t look forward to it. How many would it be? Usually if you had ten or so at a hen do and not everyone knows each other there would be opportunities for people to have conversations in smaller groups - that wouldn’t work on Zoom, I can imagine it being awkward if only one person is talking or the conversation is between a few who know each other and some people are just sat in their living rooms listening to a bunch of bffs they don’t know having a catch up...
as a pp said you’d have to have some good fun and games organised.

OhCaptain · 14/05/2020 19:36

I’d probably make up an excuse and not log in.

My family keep having quizzes on zoom. All the fucking time!!! It’s so annoying. Nobody quizzed that much when things were normal! 😂

But anyway, if it does go ahead I’d (ironically) recommend a quiz or something. Not just everyone making awkward/stilted conversation with connections lagging and people not hearing properly etc (shudder)

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 14/05/2020 19:36

It would depend on who was involved. If I knew everyone well, I would probably join but if I didn’t, I’d hate every second. It would also depend what activities were planned.

newwnamme · 14/05/2020 19:37

Not everything can be re-imagined as an online event. I saw a screenshot of somebody's zoom stag night the other day and, honestly, it looked like the saddest thing in the world. Cut your losses. Its shit that your hen is cancelled, along with a million other things. Dont make a shit situation even worse by replacing a once enjoyable event with something so lame.

merryhouse · 14/05/2020 19:37

You could have a silly quiz maybe? Or get someone to show everyone how to make an origami flower or something (obviously would have to find out first Grin)

I mean, obviously it's not ideal; but at least one of your friends wants to do something for you, so half an hour of slight awkwardness and a nice drink of ones own choice isn't going to ruin anyone's day.

PervyMuskrat · 14/05/2020 19:40

I’d do it and I’d enjoy it but I’m a gobby cow who is happy to fill any awkward conversation gaps with open questions to get people talking.

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