Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you hate to attend a Zoom hen party?

67 replies

Coffeeandteach · 14/05/2020 19:08

Less of an AIBU and more what do you think?

My hen party, that I planned myself, was meant to be next weekend. Today, a friend asked if I want a hen party on Zoom. I appreciate the sentiment but is it a bit shit for all involved? They don't all know each other and it has the potential to be really awkward. I've been told I should be more open minded but all I can think about is how much everyone else will hate it and I'll just end up feeling even shitter.

YANBU- I would hate to attend
YABU- I would attend

OP posts:
styleseeker72 · 14/05/2020 19:43

A work friend of mine 'attended' one last weekend and said it was great! I think they got dolled up and then did lots of drinking games/quizzes. Might be a bit of light-hearted fun?

Abbccc · 14/05/2020 19:44

I would attend a "virtual" party, but not on Zoom.

AnnaNimmity · 14/05/2020 19:48

yes i would for a good friend who I really cared about.

Why wouldn't your friends want to see you?

I have drinks evenings and book clubs with my friends on zoom and really like it. Just connecting with people a little bit. It's nice.

singme · 14/05/2020 19:49

I “attended” one at the weekend. At first it wasn’t great due to too many people but a quiz got it started. By the end a few of us were just chatting and it was nice. Most people in the garden with a drink. And I didn’t know many people but it was fine.

Flowers2020bloom · 14/05/2020 19:50

I think go for it - it doesn't have to be for hours on end. Just a chance to get everyone together, have a couple of little games and a toast to you. I'd be one to sit in the background and not say much as it's difficult to chat as normal on zoom but that doesn't mean I wouldn't enjoy it! You probably do need a couple of outgoing people to keep the chat going though!

MummBraTheEverLeaking · 14/05/2020 19:50

I'd do it on request, but if I didn't really know anyone it'd be quite awkward.

Oh and if you do, password protect it! DH had a catch up zoom meeting with some people yesterday and some random jumped in and started playing a video, DH won't tell me what it was and I don't want to know but he said it was horrific Sad

They had to all leave and do another one and the one who set up the initial call has forwarded the details to the police.

So password protect!

GlummyMcGlummerson · 14/05/2020 19:50

I would attend out of courtesy but sounds like a logistical nightmare TBH. I don't rate zoom for casual group chats at all

IDontLikeMondays88 · 14/05/2020 19:52

I think it will be good as long as there is a focus eg games or a quiz not just “chatting”

OwlBasket · 14/05/2020 19:52

I’d do it and I’d hate it. Just like the zoom ‘gender reveal party’ I attended last month. Once invited I’d have hated not to attend much, much more though.

GinWithASplashOfTonic · 14/05/2020 19:53

Depends on who else was there and how well I knew them.

OwlBasket · 14/05/2020 19:53

OTOH DP isn’t a natural zoomer and has had some genuinely enjoyable works’ drinks over zoom.

itssquidstella · 14/05/2020 19:55

I'd hate it, sorry op. DH and I went to a zoom birthday party a couple of weeks ago; it was excruciating and we bowed out after about ten minutes! It's not like a normal party where you can strike up a conversation with one or two new people at a time; you're essentially all forced to listen to whoever is bold/confident enough to monopolise the airwaves and everyone ends up speaking over one another so there's no flow to the conversation.

redcarbluecar · 14/05/2020 19:58

I wouldn’t like to spend time on Zoom with people I didn’t know. I’d go with your gut on this.

Original poster
Coffeeandteach · 14/05/2020 19:58

Thanks for the opinions- most confirm what I was thinking. I think I will say no and just rearrange for a real party in the future.

OP posts:
footprintsintheslow · 14/05/2020 19:59

As long as everyone had a fair bit of alcohol and some games it'll be fine.

Put a time limit on it so it doesn't drag on.

JasonPollack · 14/05/2020 19:59

I would maybe cut it down to your best besties? If they all know each other? And then make everyone get very drunk Grin

Set roles! Music, quiz, drinking games? If that's not your vibe tho maybe not.

Aquamarine1029 · 14/05/2020 20:02

Sounds like a total nightmare.

AdaStarkadder · 14/05/2020 20:15

It'll be whoever's loudest chatting and everyone else twiddling their thumbs and wishing they'd not bothered, if the Zoom birthday tea party thing l was part of last week is anything to go by ...

Washyourhandsyoufilthyanimal · 14/05/2020 20:20

I would attend but I would think it would be shit...

Purpleartichoke · 14/05/2020 20:23

My 11 year old attended a zoom birthday party last week. The birthday family dropped off a treat at everyone’s house and then the girls chatted and played games online. I think if you added cocktails to the mix instead of cookies it could be quite fun. Just have some games at the ready. There are tons of lists circulating of games that can be played while chatting online.

ColonelNobbyNobbs · 14/05/2020 20:24

When is your wedding? Will that be going ahead?

ZigZagIntoTheBlue · 14/05/2020 20:24

It would be ok if you had an external focus, play the evil apples app or something?

ColonelNobbyNobbs · 14/05/2020 20:24

Also I would hate it. Totally over zoom parties now.

MrsKypp · 14/05/2020 20:27

I would go for it.

Just keep the group small enough so it stays fun.

SanFrancisco49er · 14/05/2020 20:46

The question is, do YOU want to do it? It doesnt sound like it so if thats the case, thank the friend for being kind and thinking of it but decline.
You're the common denominator amongst people who dont know each other so it'll be most stressful for you, plus you'll have the pressure of trying to look like you're having an amazing time.
Really sorry your real hen can't happen but maybe do a post wedding hen - whenever you have your wedding.