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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think pregnancy means I'll always have a fat belly?

20 replies

PanicOnTheStreets85 · 14/05/2020 17:52

Unless I get very slim of course.

I've been overweight when I was younger pre-pregnancy, but the weight all went to my thighs and bum and my waist measurement through the belly button never went above 32". I'm now only a couple of pounds away from my pre-pregnancy heaviest weight but the same measurement is 4" bigger at 36"! My legs and bum on the other hand look about the size that they did when I was a couple of stone lighter than my current weight.

I knew that pregnancy could lead to a weight gain but I didn't realise that it could change the way fat is distributed on your body.

AIBU to think this is permanent? Now I have these fat cells on my belly the only way to get my waist measurement back to what it once was is to maintain a lower BMI than I did before? I'm aiming for a normal BMI of course (currently BMI 30 down from 36 after the birth) but it might take a while to get there and I think I'm stuck with this belly until I do, and maybe I'll have to get to the lower end of normal BMI and stay there to get rid of it.

OP posts:

Original poster

PanicOnTheStreets85 · 14/05/2020 17:53

I should clarify that I'm not pregnant anymore in case the title is confusing (my boy is a year and a half old now).

OP posts:

TorkTorkBam · 14/05/2020 17:56

For me it was about weakened muscles not fat cell distrubution.

Core strength training, pilates and so on had me back to normal in a few weeks. Same for all three babies.

Menopause, now that's a different matter.

Gimmecaffeine · 14/05/2020 17:58

You will get the MN fad dieticians telling you about calories in/out imminently.

It can be done, but it's hard, especially with a young child.

SiaPR · 14/05/2020 17:59

How old are you? There is no reason anyone pre menopause can’t lose the belly fat.

MoltenLasagne · 14/05/2020 18:06

There's two possible issues.

First as PP states you can get weakened muscles and a separation of stomach muscles due to pregnancy called diastasis recti, this can be corrected (and should if you can feel a gap in your abs) through specific exercises but you'll probably need guidance.

Second, for some women pregnancy can cause a permanent change in your rib cage that will give you a wider mid point which is more common in shorter women. This doesn't really correct itself and is permanent (short of wearing a corset which I am very much not recommending.)

Original poster

PanicOnTheStreets85 · 14/05/2020 18:06

I'm 34 years old. I'm planning to lose the weight - it's just that I think my days of being able to gain weight but still have a small waist are gone as I have lots of belly fat cells just waiting to expand again!

And I'm not sure if my wait will ever be as small as it used to be when I was a normal BMI (~26"). I know it's vain but I miss my waist.

I don't think I have diastasis recti (sp?) I think I have just gained belly flab.

OP posts:

2007Millie · 14/05/2020 18:18

The way my body distributes fat, and it's actual bone structure, has totally change since I had DS. I am slowly accepting that my shape, no matter how much healthy eating or exercise I do, will never be the same

PowerslidePanda · 14/05/2020 18:24

Something I've been wondering about relating to this - hopefully someone knowledgeable can answer...

I know that you can have a healthy BMI, yet still be considered an unhealthy weight based on your waist measurement - because visceral fat is more dangerous than fat stored elsewhere in the body. But do post-pregnancy body changes get taken into account at all? Because otherwise, how would you know whether it's visceral fat or not? (I've had two pregnancies, including a twin one, and two c-sections - my tummy will never be the same again!)

happypoobum · 14/05/2020 18:32

Nope.

After I had my first child I ended up far slimmer than I was when I conceived, with a much flatter stomach. After DC2 I lost weight again really easily. Menopause is what made me get a fat tummy

I did EBF for 14 months each time though so the weight was just falling off me. Agree with PP, from what friends have told me, having CS seems to make it much tougher

Ylvamoon · 14/05/2020 18:59

It depends on a lot of things... after my 1st I managed to get back to my pre pregnancy size and weight within 18 months, with some moderate exercise, like regular swimming.

After my 2nd... well, I have a baby pouch tummy (just loose stretched skin) and my hips are 1.5 sizes wider and don't mention the boobs! I had both naturally.and breastfed for around 6 months.
However much exercise I do, I will never look the same. Which is fine, my body tells the story of my life!

Mmmmycorona · 14/05/2020 19:07

I’m slimmer than I was when I had dd, but my fat definitely sits differently to how it did pre dd.

feelingverylazytoday · 14/05/2020 19:11

No you should be able to 'get your figure back' as we used to say in the olden days. Maybe not quite as small waisted as you used to be but if you work hard at it you should get good results.

Welshcrystal · 14/05/2020 19:15

Feel trapped and suffocated since having my youngest daughter who's 1 my oldest daughter is 21 and my son is 16 i had a miscarriage in 2018 at 16 week's prgnant six months before i got pregnant with my youngest but I regret having my youngest I feel guilty and terrible for admitting it as much as I love her I prefer not to be around her does anyone else feel the same?

Cremebrule · 14/05/2020 19:17

It has been my second child that has screwed my tummy. I am heavier than I’d like but it is really my tummy that is the worst thing. My shape has changed in a way that I wasn’t expecting. I don’t think it helped that I had a prolapse with no.1 that no.2 must have exacerbated and I also had spd with no.2. She’s lucky she’s cute as she’s properly destroyed me. I was just about to start work which would have made it easy for me to drop a stone. Lock-down is not conducive to diet in my house.

SunlightBaby · 14/05/2020 19:24

I think it's luck of the draw. A lot of people do say that their bodies never went back to how they were, but mine is pretty much the same. I've had two DC, both vaginal births.

I've been unlucky in plenty of other areas of life but not this one!

userabcname · 14/05/2020 19:26

My stomach is a huge flabby mess. I have diastasis recti. I had a cs 7 months ago. I never lost the weight I gained from dc1 who was a vb. I breastfed dc1 for 18 months and now onto my 7 month with dc2....can honestly say that "weight falling off" has never ever happened to me! I am not too worried though. I've seen a lot of celebration of the "dad bod" recently in reference to middle aged tubby men, so I say let's celebrate the "mum bod" with our wider waists, stretch marks and c section scars!

madcatladyforever · 14/05/2020 19:26

I had a washboard stomach after I lost my baby weight.
It was the menopause that gave me a fat belly.

Bienentrinkwasser · 14/05/2020 19:27

My shape has deifnitely changed since pregnancy. My ribcage will never be quite as small as it was and as I’m short in the body, that also affects my waist size. Even the I was fairly chunky before pregnancy (30GG/H boobs and 40 inch hips), my waist was never above 26 inches. After pregnancy, even with less body fat and a lower weight it as more like 28. I’m less curvy now and more boxy. However despite having a c section I actually managed to get my tummy pretty much flat again. I’m pregnant again now so it’s all going out the window again 😂

Dg556f · 14/05/2020 19:28

My waist went back to being very small, but my lower belly suffered with a fair bit of loose skin. No amount of exercise is going to get rid if that for me (believe me, I tried!)

It just looks like I have a bit of a belly, despite being very slim unfortunately. I'm pregnant again so my loose skin is filling out again, which is a great, if a little extreme, fix

Colom · 14/05/2020 21:02

With DD1 the weight literally fell off in 10 days and I was back to "normal" with the addition of some stretch marks.

2.5 years on from the birth of DD2 and I'm still a hot mess! I don't know really know why it's been so drastically different the second time round but the weight just won't shift the same way it did? My stomach is ruined and I imagine if I do lose the fat the only way I'll get my stomach even remotely back to way it was would be by having a tummy tuck which I don't think I'd ever be able to go through with... sigh...

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