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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

'myself and my family....'

139 replies

PrettyLittleBrownEyedMe · 14/05/2020 12:27

Prepared to be flamed here; I know it's not seen as the done thing to care about SPaG. That's why I've started a new thread rather than pick someone up in another conversation.

However, I would really love to know why this 'myself and my family...' construction is everywhere at the moment. It absolutely sets my teeth on edge, and it's not the same as just a general error because no one would ever say 'myself is going to the shops' - so they do know the right phrase is 'I am going to the shops'. Why does adding an extra person in to the sentence mean that they feel the pronoun needs to change? Is this phrase taught in schools? I would genuinely like to know.

Right, here goes; tin hat ready...

OP posts:
OchonAgusOchonO · 14/05/2020 21:48

When people say 'myself' otherwise, they're trying to sound smart.

Or Irish. It's not at all smart in Hiberno Irish. It's a nuanced use of the English language based on Irish grammar.

suchclearwater · 14/05/2020 21:50

Even worse: my good self Confused

connellwaldron · 14/05/2020 22:00

My good self. Fuck sake. That one sends me nuts.

Destroyedpeople · 15/05/2020 09:25

Good one oshun. Honestly there are quite middle aged people who were taught at school that 'and I' is always correct.

One problem is that there are now several generations of English teachers whose knowledge of grammar is limited to 'a verb is a doing word'.

Having said that I think we all get it 'wrong' in everyday speaking.

OchonAgusOchonO · 15/05/2020 09:31

Having said that I think we all get it 'wrong' in everyday speaking.

I never, ever use "and I" incorrectly in everyday speech. It just grates too much. I have it drummed into my kids too so they always use it correctly.

That said, I will quite happily use "me and" or "and me" incorrectly in everyday speech. I would never write it though, even in a text message.

Permanantlypuzzled · 15/05/2020 10:00

“My good self “ is annoying.
“Your good self” is fucking infuriating.

Destroyedpeople · 15/05/2020 10:10

Yes exacty it's the 'and me' that I catch myself saying..(ooh look correct use of reflexive pronoun)... .and I am the child of an English teacher and have taught English myself (!) for many years...
There is no hope for us Brits...but I guess from your username that you are Irish

Moviestar · 15/05/2020 10:50

Im Irish. I don't notice a huge amount of myself/yourself abuse, although perhaps because I work in a field which has more verbal interaction than written.
It is of course like breathing in Ireland to say" What do you think yourself?' Or 'Will you have a cup of tea,yourself?' But that's grammatically correct as far as I know??
Don't see too many atrocious extra 'selfs' (selves) thrown around, but I do feel that text-speak is an abomination and has led to an appalling lack of standards in written English from which we will probably never recover.
If u kno wht I mn hun ?

Moviestar · 15/05/2020 10:53

The word " hun " gives me actual heartburn.
Along with " he's with the angles now "
in facebook sympathy messages .

Chochito · 15/05/2020 10:55

Anyone who writes myself reminds me of an idiotic, pompous bully at work. She regularly sends out diktats that are barely intelligible.

Destroyedpeople · 15/05/2020 11:02

Moviestar that usage 'will you have a cup of tea yourself ' is perfectly correct..

Destroyedpeople · 15/05/2020 11:03

Tell you what I hate..

'Thanking you'

Toothsil · 15/05/2020 11:35

I hate it. When I'm buying something from a pharmacy and they say "is it for yourself?" it sets my teeth on edge!

GrizzlebumsMum · 15/05/2020 11:57

My husband does this. He’s trying to be formal. It drives me potty. His writing is diabolical. The other one that winds me up is when the guard on the train announces “On behalf of myself and First Great Western [...]”. Is it possible to speak on your own behalf?

OchonAgusOchonO · 15/05/2020 13:11

..but I guess from your username that you are Irish

Yes. My username is my homage to Peig Sayers. You know what they say - what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

MumW · 15/05/2020 13:56

Drives me round the bend too, along with "bear with"
Bear with ME or maybe myself Grin

MumW · 15/05/2020 14:01

Along with " he's with the angles now " in facebook sympathy messages .
I always want to say that I hope he's with the right angles and not the acute ones.Hmm

Andylion · 15/05/2020 14:52

@GrizzlebumsMum

“On behalf of myself and First Great Western [...]”. Is it possible to speak on your own behalf?

I think it is possible to speak on your own behalf, particularly if the people to whom you are speaking might reasonably assume that you speak for a group.

I googled it and came up with the same example you gave. Grin I don't know the website. It might be American.

https://english.stackexchange.com/questions/226009/does-on-behalf-of-myself-make-sense/269861

I often hear the following, particularly during announcements when travelling by rail or air:

Footle · 15/05/2020 17:31

One phenomenon,@delphiniumblue. Two phenomena.

Andylion · 15/05/2020 19:32

Just heard this:

"It's really hard for people to understand me and Dave's relationship."
😕

UnaCorda · 16/05/2020 11:24

I say that I is not always right but he says me is always wrong.

That doesn't make any sense. Is your husband claiming that the word "me" doesn't exist? How can it (or any bona fide word) always be wrong? Confused

UnaCorda · 16/05/2020 11:27

Just heard this: "It's really hard for people to understand me and Dave's relationship."

Ugh. I once heard someone exhorting a group of people to "come to Fiona and I's exhibition."

Namechanger4dis · 16/05/2020 11:28

I hate it. Using myself and yourself inappropriately is one of the few things I judge people on.

I once worked with a slimey bastard who thought he was Gods gift to the world. He was in fact thick as shit. Listening to him day in day out use myself/yourself on the phone 100 times a day was the closest I came to murder.

Even now if someone uses it I assume they aren’t as intelligent as those who know the correct usage.

ShinyMe · 16/05/2020 11:49

I bloody hate all the myself/yourself nonsense. And I can't understand why so many educated people do it.

A senior lecturer copied me in to an email to a student the other day where she said "we have a laptop we can lend you and myself have sent you the details..."

UnaCorda · 16/05/2020 13:22

A senior lecturer copied me in to an email to a student the other day where she said "we have a laptop we can lend you and myself have sent you the details..."

Yikes. Is your field totally unrelated to spoken or written language? Presumably this person has a doctorate? Using words?

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