'myself and my family....'

[PrettyLittleBrownEyedMe]

Prepared to be flamed here; I know it's not seen as the done thing to care about SPaG. That's why I've started a new thread rather than pick someone up in another conversation.

However, I would really love to know why this 'myself and my family...' construction is everywhere at the moment. It absolutely sets my teeth on edge, and it's not the same as just a general error because no one would ever say 'myself is going to the shops' - so they do know the right phrase is 'I am going to the shops'. Why does adding an extra person in to the sentence mean that they feel the pronoun needs to change? Is this phrase taught in schools? I would genuinely like to know.

Right, here goes; tin hat ready...

[dontgobaconmyheart]

YANBU OP but you know why they do it, as people have pointed out it's a grasping way to sound 'clever' by sounding more 'formal' for those that don't know how it actually works.

It doesn't annoy me but it is embarrassing.

[ThanosSavedMe]

Thank god it’s not just me that is irritate by this. It’s stupid is what it is.

[ThanosSavedMe]

Irritated even

[MulticolourMophead]

People use "myself" because they think it sounds more intelligent than "me" or "I", but the opposite is true.

It's not just about seeming intelligent. I think, having seen how people use it in work situations, that some people are seeing this as a way of being formal and polite.

[massistar]

It always makes me think of The Apprentice. They use it all the bloody time. " That was myself Lord Sugar" . Grrrr.

[DelurkingAJ]

DH does this. I correct him (when asked to proof read emails for him) but he cannot help himself. His grammar and vocab were horrible when we met...his vocab is now much wider but his grammar. He went to a rubbish school (his was the top result with 9 passes at GCSE) whereas I’m a spoilt public school brat and this is where it shows.

[ILikeyourHairyHands]

I taught my children this very effective rhyme when they were small.

You and I are We.
Us is you and ME.

So if they're ever confused, just substitute 'we' or 'us' in the sentence and they'll get it right.

As for myself, I think people probably think it sounds more formal than more intelligent, which is why it's often found in business or sales environments when dealing with clients/customers.

[SerenDippitty]

Gets on my nerves too. My father was an old school English teacher.

[Destroyedpeople]

I once got annoyed by a sales person on the phone saying...
'Ms destroyed...myself is phoning yorself. ..'
And started giving them a quick grammar lesson on the correct use of reflexive pronoun s....
There was a confused silence on the phone and I realised that not only was I pissing in the wind but I also sounded like a complete dick head. ....
So Yeh it grates but what can you do....

[EWAB]

I hate it when people use ‘I’ when they should use ‘me’. I think they think it is somehow more polite.
Another thing, while I am at it. If you have more than one brother-in-law it’s brothers-in-law not brother-in-laws.... and the plural doesn’t need an apostrophe.

[PrettyLittleBrownEyedMe]

museumum but why doesn't 'my family and I' roll off the tongue, do you think?

I went to the museum
My family and I went to the museum

Why are they perceived as different?

lockheart that's such a good summary, and just shows why it's really not difficult and, importantly, not something that's outside of people's normal useage. Creating new 'rules' around 'myself' or different patterns of phrase when there are many people in the sentence seems to be MORE difficult that just following the singular rules that people already know.

Thanks for all your lovely replies so far!

[PleasantVille]

you're all overthinking this. It’s a line from a popular film that’s caught on....and that’s all

I have no idea what film you're talking about but I do know that the use of myslef/yourslef is nothing to do with any film.

Imo it's very often used by people who are aware that their education may have been lacking and try to compensate for that by using what they think is correct wording because it sounds more correct that me/I/you

It totally grates on me but I don't think we can always blame the person saying it.

[Lobsterquadrille2]

I agree completely. I once answered the telephone to someone from a different department, same company, who began: "I was told that myself should speak to yourself". I suspected that we would have our differences.

[peperethecat]

They’ve been told at school not to say “me and jimmy went to wherever” but “my family and I” doesn’t really roll off the tongue.

It rolls off the tongue a hell of a lot better than "myself and".

In fact, that is a good rule to learn. If you are thinking of using the word "myself" or "yourself" next to "and", don't. It's wrong.

[peperethecat]

(Unless you're saying something like "I hate it when people misuse the words "yourself" and "myself".")

[Cam2020]

This really grates on my nerves too; as does people incorrectly using '[insert person's name] and I' instead of '[insert name] and me'. It's like they've had it drummed into them that this is some sort of 'polite' speak when it's just incorrect nonsense!!

[Cam2020]

Urgh, and don't get me started on the bizarre use of 'yourself'!!

[cstaff]

I worked with a bloke who was so far up his own arse. He was giving a talk one day and started a sentence with I myself personally - I almost laughed. What a fucking arsehole...

[namechangetheworld]

It's thickos trying to sound intelligent.

[St0pTryingT0MakeFetchHappen]

Doesn't annoy me as much as telephone salespeople referring to me as "Yourself".

[ChampagneTruffles]

This drives me utterly mad as well!!
I am on a one-woman mission to educate my entire workplace on this but not having much success.
I will continue to correct every single email that comes my way with the improper use of the word though!
God knows why it seems to have become so prolific in recent years?

[GoatyGoatyMingeMinge]

If you are thinking of using the word "myself" or "yourself" next to "and", don't. It's wrong.

Sorry to spoil the consensus, but this is not true!

• "I fed my mother and myself."

• "You ought to look after your children and yourself."

What matters is whether it's a reflexive verb.

[peperethecat]

I would say "you ought to look after your children as well as yourself", but I take your point on the first one.

It's wrong most of the times people say it though.

[suggestionsplease1]

Just to point out that 'myself', 'yourself' etc can be used correctly as emphatic pronouns at times.

[PissOffStayAtHomeDogMum]

Myself couldn't agree more, OP.