'myself and my family....'

[PrettyLittleBrownEyedMe]

Prepared to be flamed here; I know it's not seen as the done thing to care about SPaG. That's why I've started a new thread rather than pick someone up in another conversation.

However, I would really love to know why this 'myself and my family...' construction is everywhere at the moment. It absolutely sets my teeth on edge, and it's not the same as just a general error because no one would ever say 'myself is going to the shops' - so they do know the right phrase is 'I am going to the shops'. Why does adding an extra person in to the sentence mean that they feel the pronoun needs to change? Is this phrase taught in schools? I would genuinely like to know.

Right, here goes; tin hat ready...

[cardibach]

Jings in terms of politeness you might be right there! What I was responding to, though, was the idea that ‘and I’ was always correct. It isn’t. Sometimes it’s ‘and me’.

[cardibach]

Jings nobody is teaching it. It’s a colloquialism. It’s not bad grammar so much as slightly poor manners. As I said, it’s the assumption in the post I replied to that ‘and I’ was always correct to which I responded.

[mynamesmrdiggety]

It's everywhere

[cardibach]

Not to harp on Jings but it really isn’t a grammatical issue to put yourself first, just a courtesy one (and mild at that).
The difference between "I and my friends" and "my friends and I" is purely a matter of courtesy - they are both grammatically correct. I would tend to stick to the latter though, as it a) is more commonplace, b) is considered more polite, c) seems to flow better

Copied from this site english.stackexchange.com/ as the whole address wouldn’t copy correctly for some reason.

So you aren’t the grammar guru you think.

[BobbinThreadbare123]

Misuse of the reflexive pronoun is one of my biggest bugbears. One of my colleagues is particularly bad; his emails are littered with rogue 'myselfs' and 'yourselfs'.
It is taught at school.
These misusers are in the same category as those who begin every sentence with "so" and people who smush words together and think it's a word i.e. the execrable 'alot' and 'aswel'. Absolute bunkum. See also: bare with me. No thanks, we don't need to get naked to make a point.

[Nanny0gg]

I quite like 'yourself' when used in Irish or Scots vernacular. Otherwise I cannot bear it.

My other little irritant is the misuse of it's when it should be its.

[MrsKoala]

‘The waitress brought milkshakes to my friend and me’

Would that be correct then?as it’s something H tells me off for. He says I should use I instead of me. I say that I is not always right but he says me is always wrong. So if I said H and I argue about it, is that right? I really need a refresher course - I can’t believe how much of this has disappeared from my brain.

[MrsKoala]

Was also going to say about the Irish way of saying yourself is quite charming. I grew up in west London with a huge second generation of Irish population and yourself is often used.

[JingsMahBucket]

@MrsKoala your way is correct in that case.

[JingsMahBucket]

@cardibach sorry, stackexchange.com isn’t the most reliable for certain answers.

[cardibach]

Jings how about teaching English for 30 years? It’s not the most polite, but grammar doesn’t care about manners.
It might not be the best way to say it, but it’s not grammatically incorrect.

[cardibach]

@MrsKoala imagine the other person/people aren’t with you. Which would you use?
Eg. I went to town, so My friend and I went to town
He threw the ball at me, so he threw the ball at my friend and me (or me and my friend, whatever some other posters think...)

[BruceAndNosh]

Although my Ma is Irish so we have lots of yourself/myself going on anyway
I'm Northern Irish so it's yersell a lot of the time

[BruceAndNosh]

@KevinsCarter that ramble of selfs made my head spin!

[handbagsatdawn33]

"people who smush words together"

Is that the same as Jamie Oliver "smooshing" an avocado?

[rosamacrose]

JingsMahBucket to MrsKoala
I agree
Depressing that the use of 'myself' in place of 'me' and 'yourself' in place of' 'you' has been used by people in our company.
Main culprits are in internal and external communication teams.
I like my colleagues but makes me grit my teeth each time.

[MrsKoala]

Thanks. :)

[ILikeyourHairyHands]

Mrs Koala

I mentioned the rhyme I taught my children earlier.

You and I are we.
Us is you and ME.

So if you'd use 'we' in a sentence, 'We went to the park', it would be 'You and I, Harry and I, Mother and I' etc. If you'd use 'us' in a sentence, 'Dad gave us a lift to the park' it would be 'You and me, Harry and me, Mother and me' etc.

It's a nice easy way to remember if you're unsure.

[OchonAgusOchonO]

@Westfacing - I'm not bothered by I and me being used incorrectly as it's easily done

I disagree completely. It is no more easily done than using myself incorrectly. In fact, I think the I/me error is much easier to avoid. You simply remove the other person from the sentence. So if you wouldn't say Give that to I, then you wouldn't say Give that to John and I.

I think using I incorrectly is much worse than using myself incorrectly and is generally done by people trying to sound posh.

[MrsKoala]

Thanks. I am now remembering and laughing at ‘myself’.

[OchonAgusOchonO]

Although my Ma is Irish so we have lots of yourself/myself going on anyway

It's hard to beat "Is it yourself that's in it" as a greeting when you haven't seen someone in a while and you come across them unexpectedly.

[connellwaldron]

All of the above properly rips my knitting. Also, the fact that it doesn't get taught, no good reason why not as far as I can see. Include "less or fewer" in this rage.

[OchonAgusOchonO]

@MrsKoala

‘The waitress brought milkshakes to my friend and me’

You are correct, your dh is wrong. Repeat the sentence without the other person to figure out which to use. "The waitress brought milkshakes to I" is incorrect. Therefore,"The waitress brought milkshakes to my friend and I" is also wrong.

Nothing worse than someone being an incorrect pedant.

[WillAshton]

'I' is the subject and 'me' is the object. It depends on who is carrying out the action. the action. I think.... Contact me...

'Myself' is reflexive. It's not an alternative, but when you are the subject and object. I drag myself out of bed. I wash myself.

When people say 'myself' otherwise, they're trying to sound smart.

It's also bloody annoying when they try to be polite/formal by saying 'yourself' instead of 'you'...

[WillAshton]

@MrsKoala

‘The waitress brought milkshakes to my friend and me’

You're right. The waitress is the subject; you and the friend are the object. That's how you decide 'I' or 'me'.

Would he also expect you o say 'The waitress brought my milkshake to I'?!