Who should get our house?

[Tinkerbellanne]

Hello, I posted on here yesterday asking for some relationship advice. I'm now looking for advice about what happens with our house. My partner has cheated on me several times over our seven year relationship. He has messaged other girls, and been on swingers websites and sent indecent images of himself to my sister and other people. I dont trust him anymore and I'm trying to figure out if I can afford to run this house on my own. I put down a £16,000 deposit on a house of £160,000. We are tenants in common with 50 50 share even though he put nothing. He does pay a lot more monthly repayments though. I still have the receipt of the deposit coming out of my account as evidence if that helps. I'm a supply teacher and only earn about £1000 a year as I do all the child care I then get topped up with a bit of tax credits and I also have the child benefit to. I have worked out if I get a 16 hour week job I would be able to be there for my children, receive a bit more working and child tax credit, child benefit and £400 a month child maintenance for our 2 children. About £1,500 a month to get by. My question is will the bank accept all of these incomes and how likely is it the bank will accept me? After all the stress he has put me though and no contribution to the deposit I would like to be the one to stay in the house. Does anyone have any advice?

Hi,
Just a suggestion that you ask your husband to pay the mortgage in lieu of maintenance (he can pay it directly) with a agreement that the house is sold and the proceeds split in half at a certain point such as when your youngest turns 18 or 21.

You would get to stay in the house in the medium term and he would get half of the house in future for his payments but at the price that he will probably have to rent as his name will remain on the mortgage and likely make it impossible for him to buy anywhere else.

If you get into a position to buy him out e.g. new relationship you could agree to halve the proceeds and he would then pay maintenance instead.

Just to update everyone on how things are. My partner has agreed to separate. He is going to try to buy me out and if he can I will stay at my mums with my 2 little ones and save what i get back from the house to use towards another property in the future. Thankyou for everyone's advice. I'm going to get the house valued and call the bank in the morning to start the ball rolling

He also said if he can afford to give me my £16,000 back he will do so. It's almost like he has been waiting for me to say this so he didnt look like the bad one for leaving his Mrs and 2 kids. I see a much harder but brighter future

@Tinkerbellanne Im so glad that he seems to be accepting this and not playing the ass card. I wish you and your family luck on this sometimes hard, and new journey but you will be all the better for it.

Good job on you for sticking up for yourself and your kids.

That's great, well done for taking control of a very difficult situation.

Get that in writing if you can...about the £16000 as that might change .

You could keep a % in the house to cover it, until paid off

Is your tax credits a joint claim? Please be aware when calculating your finances that going to a single claim will trigger a move to universal credit.

I wish you the best of luck with your brighter future OP. Leaving was the best decision I have ever made for myself and my children.

Could you stay and save?

Abbazed I could do. Everything is up in the air again. I found messages on his phone 2 days ago saying he was going to see another women tonight when he finishes work at 9:50pm. Hes just told me he is going to see his dad after work. Now I know he is with someone else

Use that to your advantage. You want out ,he will want to carry on his selfish life . Make sure the children are protected by getting as much as you can out of him.