This is so difficult. I was married to a man with high probability of autism for decades. He was abusive and he couldn't see why. It was his way of trying to control his environment so his life was predictable and stable. This included an element of controlling me as I was a less predictable element.
If he is autistic it doesn't make him an abuser. It does make the way he sees the world different.
Two of my children are autistic, one is now an adult the other is nearly an adult.
I'd say my daughter takes after her dad And has to control her environment at all costs, she's demand avoidant too so it's jolly hard work.
My eldest son on the other hand is able to embrace the world in his own way. He's less disabled by his diagnosis of Aspergers. At times I even question his diagnosis until something out of the ordinary happens and he has a melt down.
I would say a few things to my former self, this is my reflection.
These are generalisations and won't fit all!
Someone with autism will love very very deeply to the end of their days.
They will be loyal, trustworthy and predictable.
They do not have the social filters I have so a blunt comment will be the truth, without thought to a kinder comment. I celebrated when my eldest learnt to socially lie as it's a life skill.
They will endeavour to control their environment to prevent change.
They can struggle with showing affection.
They can struggle with eye contact and physical contact.
They can struggle with smells and textures.
They can struggle with peoples faces and recognition. My exH relied on number plates and would be cross if someone changed their car.
They can become very depressed living in a world that is a constant stress.
So much to balance. You are in the early stages, I think if I was back in that place I would want to have a friend for life, and support that friend, but I don't think I'd have married and had children.