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AIBU?

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Original poster

My child has been selected for a Covid test!

408 replies

Livingmybestliferight · 13/05/2020 13:26

He's 10. Does not want to do it. Am wondering why they are doing this and whether it has anything to do with schools opening or not?! Would I be unreasonable to refuse this opportunity?

OP posts:
LondonJax · 13/05/2020 16:41

@Livingmybestliferight. Do what you think is right by your child. He's not been summoned, you've been asked if you're happy for him take part. It's not compulsory and they will have more people to send to if they don't get enough in the first roll out.

Yes, it's important for him to understand that sometimes you step up to the mark. But it's also important that he knows he can trust you to have his back.

If you think it's important for him to take part, explain the procedure, explain what it's going to be used for and let him think on it. DS will often say 'no' to something, then think about it and change his mind.

If he doesn't decide to do it, it's not the end of the world. There are millions of children in this country so I'm pretty sure they'll find a replacement.

NearlyGranny · 13/05/2020 16:42

A 10yo in Y5 or Y6 is perfectly capable of grasping the scientific significance of a random sampling of virus status across the country, and how valuable the data gathered will be. Does he join in with the clapping on Thursday evenings? Does he understand what the NHS has been doing? Is he aware of all the different ways people are helping to save lives? I'm sure if he thinks about it, a moment or two's discomfort is a small sacrifice to generate valuable data. Look - he matters! Of course it's his prerogative and he can withhold his consent, but it would be a pity. In a few years, when he's in secondary school learning about statistics, he may regret passing up the chance to be part of the answer to a pandemic.

ludothedog · 13/05/2020 16:45

It's good for us all to do things that we are scared of, especially when it's nothing more than a wee swab up the nose. I would be having a good chat with him about how important it is, what's involved and try and persuade him to do it.

If he really can't stomach the idea of it then decline the invite.

Lweji · 13/05/2020 16:48

I do research, and as much as I'd want a child to participate in this study, I'm not shocked that a child might not want to participate in it.

Those conducting the study will have taken into account a certain degree of non participation, so will have sent letters to many more people than they need.

OP, do your best to convince him, but most and foremost, ensure that he feels free to say yes or no.
Children can develop fears and worries without their parents contributing to them.

Ignore the appalled pps.

Porcupineinwaiting · 13/05/2020 16:48

A "wee swab up the nose" is a good way to get a negative result even if you do have COVID. The bit you're aiming for is the back of the nasal sinus, that's about 2" in in an adult.

ghostyslovesheets · 13/05/2020 16:48

@JustOneSquareofDarkChocolate Thanks I’m feeling okay just a bit run down but headachy and tired - probably just a stupid everyday virus

Mulhollandmagoo · 13/05/2020 16:50

Absolutely don't force him, it's important that he learns he's able to control what happens to his own body and that he can say no to anything if he's uncomfortable with it. But you could definitely have an age appropriate conversation with him about how important this is and how much it will help, also get to the bottom of his fears, as a couple of other posters have said, things like this could become an important part of our society for the foreseeable future.

It would be really beneficial for as many people to partake as possible, but I imagine of your son doesn't do it (and he won't be the only one who doesn't) and they don't meet the targets for his age range they'll just send a letter to another 10yo somewhere else in the country so of he really doesn't want to don't worry about it too much

lilgreen · 13/05/2020 16:51

You should get him to do it. He’s not a baby! It’s important.

Sedlescombe · 13/05/2020 16:52

Science needs data. Without understanding the population they cant either manage the virus' progress or ultimately find a vaccine. Just as we have benefited from people being tested in the past it is our turn now. You are perfectly within your rights to not agreeing to take part - but as others have said. Why would you? Is your son feeding off your concerns or has he got it into his head that he is being GIVEN the virus? I don't see why someone wouldn't help collect the data.

Windyatthebeach · 13/05/2020 16:53

It's important that your ds understands that sometimes the grown ups do know best..
He is a minor. Legally unable to decide anything for himself because he is a child!! Would you allow him to travel without a seat belt for example because he didn't want to?

MissConductUS · 13/05/2020 16:55

@Laney79

I'm assuming the antibody testing is a blood sample one? Desperate to get my mom tester as she's In the shielding group but is certain she had it earlier in the year (symptoms all match and still not recovered sense of smell/taste)

The antibody test requires a blood sample. Some use a drop of blood from a finger prick, the most accurate antibody tests require a blood draw from a vein. Based on what you say, she's very likely had it and will test positive for the antibodies.

I had blood drawn for the antibody test yesterday as part of my annual physical exam. I had the PCR test because I'm a front line HCP.

MrsFezziwig · 13/05/2020 16:55

There are a lot of experts on here who haven’t got the least idea what they are talking about.

@Tuemay
Have you seen what they do when they do the test?
They push a swab AS FAR BACK AS IT CAN GO before reaching brain.

I have the instructions with me from the test I took a couple of weeks ago. The swab should be pushed into your nose approximately one inch, or until it meets resistance. If your brain is only one inch from the outside of your nose you’ve got bigger problems than Covid-19.

YouTheCat · 13/05/2020 16:56

Lweji, it is swabs delivered for you to do at home. It would be different if it was to be done at a testing centre by people who are trained. The data will be completely irrelevant as it will be full of false negatives anyway with no way to tell who did the swabs correctly.

popsydoodle4444 · 13/05/2020 16:57

It's says it voluntary.He doesn't want to do it.So don't do it.

pigoons · 13/05/2020 16:57

NRFT but I think it should be your son's decision. At 10 he is old enough to make the decision. He shouldn't be pressurised into doing it - no matter what anyone on here has said

LilacTree1 · 13/05/2020 16:57

Thank you fir this thread, I had no idea this was even happening.

I think it’s a grim test to “persuade” a child to take.

It’s really important to underline consent

I’m also wondering why he hasn’t left the house more.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 13/05/2020 16:58

It's important that your ds understands that sometimes the grown ups do know best..
He is a minor. Legally unable to decide anything for himself because he is a child!! Would you allow him to travel without a seat belt for example because he didn't want to?

This is an entirely different situation.

  1. Wearing a seatbelt is a legal requirement. This test is not.
  2. Wearing a seatbelt in a car will keep him alive in an accident. This test will not.
  3. Wearing a seatbelt is not an invasive medical exam carried out on your body. This test is.
  4. The alternative to him refusing to wear his seatbelt is that he is not taken in the car. Not "forced down and it thrust upon him".
Lweji · 13/05/2020 16:59

The data will be completely irrelevant as it will be full of false negatives anyway with no way to tell who did the swabs correctly.

Exactly. I wouldn't plan a study like this.

Jux · 13/05/2020 17:01

I think it would be a shame if he turned this down. Can you see it as a great opportunity to be part of terribly important scientific research which will help the whole country - and, in fact, the entire world?

The chances are that you'll never know the results of his test anyway; usually these things are blind and it's a bit of an inconvenience if someone wants to know their personal results. There may even not be a mechanism in the study design to allow for individual results to be married up to personal data; sometimes there just isn't a way to do it.

Windyatthebeach · 13/05/2020 17:01

The point was he needs to just accept his dm has told him to do something...
My ds 11 would..

Sedlescombe · 13/05/2020 17:03

Lweji can you advise what scientific studies you have planned. As it would be helpful to understand what the debate is between types of testing within the scientific community

MrsFezziwig · 13/05/2020 17:08

But to reply to some other points:

The swab is taken from the back of the throat and the nasal cavity. Instructions are to swab each area for 10 and 10-15 seconds respectively. So if it “only lasted a second” it wasn’t done correctly.

Mine was done for research and to get the testing numbers up to 100k a day I was going to ask for someone to administer it as I’m a bit gippy but although that was offered in advance it wasn’t offered on the day. My gag reflex didn’t allow me to keep the throat swab in place for 10 seconds, and I’m wondering how many others who had to self test had similar issues - so I wouldn’t be surprised if there were a lot of false negatives.

I worked in medical research and am shocked by how many people are suggesting OP just tries to force him to have the test. Have you never heard of consent?

And this is large scale research - it’s not like there are only 3 children in the U.K. who can take the test - if he doesn’t want to do it they will just find another 10 year old.

Lweji · 13/05/2020 17:12

Lweji can you advise what scientific studies you have planned.

GrinGrin no!

But it's well known that the quality of the swabs obtained impacts on the sensitivity of the tests. Even by health professionals.
Swabs collected by people who are not trained are not likely to yield accurate results. The rate of false negatives will be high.
I don't think even the people who planned this study will disagree with me on this.

I'd say more, but that might well out me among some people who know me, although that ship may well have sailed.

GabriellaMontez · 13/05/2020 17:12

Windy I'd be far more concerned about teaching him bodily autonomy and consent than using this as an opportunity to assert my authority as the parent.

Sedlescombe · 13/05/2020 17:17

Lweji By the way apologies for what probably came across as an arsy comment which wasn't intended.

Its just that the people who's job it is to carry out the test use that method probably as a compromise in terms of numbers and cost. It just strikes me that if they think it helps them we should support them.