Best CF Stories

[CupcakesAndCastles]

Lockdown sucks, what’s the best CF stories you’ve read?

CF's can start young......the school fete was approaching, and as part of the fundraising, pupils were encouraged to sell numbered programmes, raffle prizes for winning numbers, small prize for seller of the most programmes. It was drummed into the pupils that they were not to go door to door, or approach strangers, strictly friends and family, possibly mum or dad's work colleagues.
One of my colleagues lived very close to the school, and we had some planning for the next year to discuss, so rather than lingering on in the Staff Room, she kindly invited me back to her house to work in a more peaceful setting.
Then came a knock on the door; two of our pupils, blithely ignoring instructions, were hawking fete programmes door to door. Their faces when they encountered not one but two members of staff, who sternly reminded them of what they had been told about not approaching strangers, were a picture.
Then the bolder of the two recovered himself a little, and replied, "Well we know you, so would you like to buy a fete programme?"

@twoshedsjackson

CF's can start young......the school fete was approaching, and as part of the fundraising, pupils were encouraged to sell numbered programmes, raffle prizes for winning numbers, small prize for seller of the most programmes. It was drummed into the pupils that they were not to go door to door, or approach strangers, strictly friends and family, possibly mum or dad's work colleagues. One of my colleagues lived very close to the school, and we had some planning for the next year to discuss, so rather than lingering on in the Staff Room, she kindly invited me back to her house to work in a more peaceful setting. Then came a knock on the door; two of our pupils, blithely ignoring instructions, were hawking fete programmes door to door. Their faces when they encountered not one but two members of staff, who sternly reminded them of what they had been told about not approaching strangers, were a picture. Then the bolder of the two recovered himself a little, and replied, "Well we know you, so would you like to buy a fete programme?"

Those poor kids - Schools giving prizes (even small ones) and recognition to the students who can extort the most money out family and friends reinforce the class distinctions that already dictate how well kids do. Setting rules that mean they can't even take some initiative to try and compete is kind of brutal.

My ex childminder would often tell me she wasn't showing up to take care of my children on her assigned days with less the 24 hours notice then told me I was 'invading her privacy' when I asked why she wasn't coming last minute... They also then had the cheek to get mad at me when I wouldn't pull my youngest out of nursery so she could have them the whole day.. When she didn't have other offers or something better to do of course .. Sorry is this normal?

Someone earlier said that the ones asking for random childcare from strangers should be taken as a sign and it really rings true. Years ago, mother of one of DS classmates who lives on other end of our road rang me. She was heavily pregnant and there was a problem and her DH needed to take her up to the hospital and could I come look after the other two DC. I was impressed by the fact that she wasn't panicking but assumed she was desperate as I barely knew her and certainly didn't know her children. So of course, off I go. [You'd think that the time I'd had to take a cab to the hospital for a similar situation because DH needed to look after DS would have rang alarm bells. But I'm aware that not everyone is as independent and confident as me.]

Anyway, I do 3 hours of childcare, she comes back and is grateful. All is fine with the baby. Great. But then she asks if I can be added to the list of people who will look after the DC when she goes into labour. Which I couldn't work out - I had assumed first instance was just total panic and no options. I can't even remember what I said but didn't have to do it.

But over the years, there have been endless little examples of CFery from her. The time she asked DH if he'd look after her DS every week and similar.

Most recently, our school had a small outbreak of COVID and two year groups were isolating. DD was in one of the year groups and so was this woman's DD. It was a nightmare as it was half term and we had to cancel the various childcare arrangements and shared playdates we'd arranged and try to cobble together a schedule between my and DH's work. Plus poor DS didn't get to do anything fun as we didn't have capacity for one of us to take him out while the other one stayed in with DD - even to the park or whatever.

As I came out of my office in town one day on my way to get a sandwich, I see her, her DH and all the kids strolling along happy as Larry. They even greeted me enthusiastically. I was livid. Last week she bounced over to chat to me on the school run and I could barely bring myself to say hello.

I'm not sure if I've been misunderstood when u refer to childminder Im not referring to some random person I asked to take care of my child I'm talking about an actual employed childminder who had responded to a job advert had an interview, all necessary checks etc and was employed for over a year on certain days then starts to randomly not show up and/or text less than 24 hours before her paid shifts to say she isn't coming that week and regarding any covid issues on that basis alone I have a right to ask why as any sickness needs to be communicated and if not I still have a right to ask.. You can't just text your boss and say I'm not coming in tomorrow without being expected to give a reason. Childminder was employed for certain days and paid for that I don't just expect free childcare and ask anyone to do it.. Though I can see your frustration as I know some people do behave in a cf fashion dumping their kids on people who offered to help once but this was far from the case with me.

*when i

@HelloBambinos
I don’t think that poster was replying to you, just In general...

Ahh I was thinking that may be the case but wanted to. Clarify just to be sure

@HelloBambinos yes, I was referring to a post pages ago that mentioned inappropriate childcare requests are often first sign. Ie first request is odd but not necessarily cf. but rapidly descends into cf!

The stories here are astonishing! But, as an American, I was surprised to learn that it is common to split the bill? Here, as soon as the server comes to the table for drink orders, the first to order will say “separate checks, please” and there’s no issue at all. Even with just two of us catching up over a meal of the same exact cost, it just comes out of our mouth automatically? The server will ask if we forget to say, or if a group is together, and then someone will say “ Thank you but we are all on one”.

Wish we had this here. It would save so many difficult situations

@twoshedsjackson

CF's can start young......the school fete was approaching, and as part of the fundraising, pupils were encouraged to sell numbered programmes, raffle prizes for winning numbers, small prize for seller of the most programmes. It was drummed into the pupils that they were not to go door to door, or approach strangers, strictly friends and family, possibly mum or dad's work colleagues. One of my colleagues lived very close to the school, and we had some planning for the next year to discuss, so rather than lingering on in the Staff Room, she kindly invited me back to her house to work in a more peaceful setting. Then came a knock on the door; two of our pupils, blithely ignoring instructions, were hawking fete programmes door to door. Their faces when they encountered not one but two members of staff, who sternly reminded them of what they had been told about not approaching strangers, were a picture. Then the bolder of the two recovered himself a little, and replied, "Well we know you, so would you like to buy a fete programme?"

My school does this and it’s absolutely shit. There’s no one left on my oh side of the family, and the only people on my side is my father and uncle serving long sentences for child sex offences. I’m a sahm and oh doesn’t have the sort of colleagues you’re going to ask for money for school raffles. My dd goes in so sad seeing a children with so many donations that they’ve had to request multiple extra sheets with dozens and dozens of names on, where she’s just got the one sheet with her mum and dads names at the top, and that’s it. The school is the cf in this situation as we end up donating far more than we can afford for extra tickets so she has half a chance of winning (which she never does).

Must tell you all about a woman I used to share the reception desk with... Let's call her K.

K would frequently 'forget' her purse when we went for a lunch out or drinks down the pub. Sometimes if she did have her purse, she would stand next to silly senior male members of staff and bemoan the fact that she 'didn't have enough for a glass of champagne' and then they would HO HO HO and buy her some. She stole money from the petty cash which I could never prove but I knew it was her because she made a big song and dance when I confronted her - think 'OH MY GOSH WHAT NO YOU'RE JOKING'. Full on ameteur dramatics.

We were in charge of the secret santa one year and we decided to just get for each other. I got her a beautiful Eve Lom lip balm. She...... got me nothing. About a month later, she handed me some oddly coloured balls of wool (I do like craft but WTF they were dusty).

I sacked her in completely after she joined me and my mates at a gig. She was scamming drinks off all my mates and at the end of the night, she was like 'I lost my wallet I can't get home!' and one of my pals fell for it and gave her £20, which I only found out after.

What a CF.

Also, her reasons for not coming into world were LEGENDARY. Once, because her cat had apparently scratched her eye. The other time because she had cut her labia while shaving. I MEAN COME ON.

I sort of miss it all. It made work interesting!

Hope she's doing well. I bet she's fine!

@Laplanddreams a similar thing happened with us - planned a small home party with 6 friends for DDs birthday but one mum turned up with the invited friend, plus his two sisters AND two more cousins who were visiting them, so this one family doubled the size of the whole party! I had bought personalised cupcakes for the party bags and the 4 extra kids all queued up for cake and a party bag at the end and looked really sad that I didn’t have enough. I gave them balloons and some Kit Kat’s but the mum was never apologetic about it.
Unbelievable!

Funnily enough I am Malaysian and did finance at a London uni ... could easily have been the relatives of several people I know 😂

@Faerysmoke

Got a cm one too. Struggled to find a cm for ds1, there was a shortage locally, but a newly registered one came up. At first all was well, then a few things started up. First her dd needed dental work. That’s ok. But then it emerged that dd was going for cosmetic work. The child was 6. But still ok. Then she needed an afternoon off because she needed to go to the city to have her modelling portfolio updated. I wasn’t happy as I could see my holidays being eaten away. Clincher was when I got the bill at the end of the month-she’d charged me for it! And we agreed to a 10 min window in case my bus was late when I didn’t get charged. She kept me talking longer and charged me for the hour! Then she tried to charge me for safety equipment when ds started walking. I left and went with a friend who was starting up, but not registered yet. She tried to report me to the council.

Oh wow what is with these cf cm!? I cant actually believe the audacity. They seem to believe they are doing us a favour.. Nope you're employed I don't care if you're self employed you agreed to specific days and times not just when it works around your social life. I was informed that as she's self employed she can just pick and drop at last minute when she feels like it.. The thing is self employed cm need to be very careful loyalty is a huge thing when it comes to cm and word of mouth is powerful. Not to say I would go out of my way to give a negative review but I certainly wouldn't make recommendations and would be honest if a friend asked and refuse a reference which in itself speaks volumes. At one point she even had the cheek to say (with less than 24 hours notice) that she weren't coming (and got offended when I asked why as I was 'invading her privacy') and said 'well can't your mum do it' unfortunately she was very immature and a massive CF. I'm very wary of cm as a result unfortunately.

@Justsaynonow

I should also add that my DH and I were doing hundreds of volunteer hours that her child benefitted from. Guess how much she did?

While I was volunteering recently at a huge event, I ran into her. She said "Are you STILL volunteering?!".

"And are you still NOT volunteering?"

@WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll

We had a neighbour steal our garden bin once. He's otherwise a genuinely nice chap, which made it even more bizarre. He must have grabbed our bin as soon as the bin men had emptied it, furtively kept it in his back garden or garage for a fortnight (one garden bin cycle) to fill and then, come bin day, sneaked over at 3am and left it, full, in front of our house, so that the bin men would empty his rubbish and leave it empty for us to take back for our future use. He wasn't as quiet as he thought, as he woke us up and we saw clearly that it was him. It was annoying (as well as being woken), as we would have had some of our own garden waste that we'd had to leave unmown and unpruned with nowhere to dispose of it - and we have to pay extra to have a garden waste bin - but ironically, if he'd just asked us if we had any extra capacity, we would have gladly let him have the remaining 80% and, jumping in the bin if necessary, easily have fitted all of his excess in as well, as he's always (apart from then) such a nice neighbour.

Instead of challenging him and then letting it blow over straightaway, we made a point of painting our house number massive on all three of our bins. We don't bear him any ill will at all - just find it amusing, really - but there's now that clear little reminder to him of his naughty deed every single week

I'd have emptied the contents into his front garden.

@twoshedsjackson

radness75 Giving your name as a referee without the courtesy of prepping the supporter beforehand is CF in itself and when I've been asked to give a reference in that way, the resulting reference has been very much "the letter of the law", as in "I worked with this colleague from xdate to ydate" - you were right to be clear that you were not in a position to answer some of the questions being asked. You could damage your own career by making false statements on her behalf. A canny employer will pick up on this, and the real killer can be "Feel free to get in touch", which roughly translates as "I'm prepared to say things in a phone call that I wouldn't put in writing". Wondering whether she got the job or not is very apt; it can take a long time for reality to catch up with duckers and divers, but eventually she will run out of sensible people like you who get her measure. The bigger the fibs, the greater the crash; I heard of the rise and fall of a "dynamic" (tr. "talks a good game") headteacher who actually thought they could claim academic qualifications falsely, and that nobody would check! I think they begin to believe their own lies, and the dread of their lives can be people who have met them connecting and comparing notes.

I don't know if it was on here or Reddit, but I saw a story where someone claimed to have been doing the job of his interviewer at a previous business, at the exact time the interviewer had the job.

This happened to friends of mine.

They invited a couple to their wedding. On the day the woman was ill so her DP came on his own. He brought a gift - a vase.

Later that year the couple also got married and invited my friends. They both went and gave a gift - a small glass bowl.

A week later the couple sent my friends an email.

Basically saying "only one of us came to your wedding and we brought a gift worth £50. You both came to our wedding. We have looked up the value of your gift. We believe it is about £30. So please can you send us the difference ( £20 ) plus the cost of the extra wedding breakfast meal which is £30per head. Total invoice £50"

Unsurprisingly my friends clicked shift+delete on the email and never spoke to the couple again.

My grandmother agreed to take in her sister, brother in law, their forty year old son and his huge dog when they had become homeless due to their son's ineptitude and bad luck running a business. He had always lived with them on the other side of the country. They packed their things up and quickly moved in with her, on what was meant to be a somewhat short term solution. As they were so hard up and family, she didn't ask for contributions towards food or bills. The dog scoffed his way through a fortune. After over a year and them being there, the son not working, and having no firm exit strategy, my very fed up grandmother gingerly raised the subject with them and enquired as to how long they intended to stay. Well they didn't like that one bit!! They accused her of throwing her own flesh and blood out on the streets. Three days later she woke to find them loading up their car. And off they drove.... Back to their old house where they lived out the rest of their days. It still leaves us scratching our heads!

Mines not too bad but here goes,

When I was about 19 I did a work placement with my then boyfriend for a few months in America. We were put in a student house along with 4 other Brits, we got on quite well with them and it was a bit of a laugh.

Anyway when it came to the end of our stay, for some reason the 4 other students were scheduled to leave a few days before me and my boyfriend and the night before they left they threw a massive house party.

They left the next morning leaving so much mess it was unreal. My boyfriend and I were left to clear it all up. Not only that when we were about to leave the landlord reviewed the property and claimed there was damage so therefore retained half our our deposits. We think he conned us as we had cleaned the place and there had been no damage but we had no choice. Doubly annoying that this 'damage cost' was only split between me and my boyfriend and the others got away with it. They had long gone so there was nothing we could do. Total stitch up job though.

It did teach us a small lesson though - always take photos when you first move into a rental property!

@HelloBambinos

My ex childminder would often tell me she wasn't showing up to take care of my children on her assigned days with less the 24 hours notice then told me I was 'invading her privacy' when I asked why she wasn't coming last minute... They also then had the cheek to get mad at me when I wouldn't pull my youngest out of nursery so she could have them the whole day.. When she didn't have other offers or something better to do of course .. Sorry is this normal?

This happened more than once?

Why would you even out your child with somone like that