To ask what age you started feeling ‘adulty’?

[sunflowery]

Because I’m 27 and I still don’t! I feel like I’m pretending and on the inside I’m still that insecure teenager worrying whether or not people like me. I have a job, a mortgage, bills etc.

I watch my friends having kids and am often broody myself but then I think oh my god that’s something ADULTS do, I’m not an adult yet!

Where am I going wrong? When did you all start feeling like a proper adult?

25. I was walking through a park and some kids approached me as one of their friends had an accident at the skate park and they wanted an ‘adult’ to help.

42 and nowhere near, I still feel like I’m playing at it. I am married with a child, have a senior job and am a landlord. None of this has mad any difference.

We all feel like this I think. Even the Queen!

Sometime in my 30s when the kids were little, we bought the big house, careers okay-ish, and travel became easier. There was a realisation that as tempting as freedom sounds, long term stability and happiness was grounded in the marriage, advancing chosen career, and domesticity. I am such a grown up. I never feel not- grown-up.

I’m 32, married with a baby, been a midwife for 10 years & still don’t feel like a proper adult. I have to remind myself sometimes I’m not a particularly young mum, I feel about 20 in my head. Maybe when we buy a house in the next couple of years it’ll sink in that I am a grown up, or maybe when we have the next baby or when this one starts school? Or maybe never, I’m perfectly happy to feel forever young!

32 whilst making packed lunch for my DC the night before she started pre-school. Felt like such a "mum" thing to do and it real hit me that I was someone's mum and how grown up that was! It was only brief though - I still feel like a child most of the time

I moved out at 18 so had an adult life since then really! Got married at 22 and When our DD was born she was in NICU that propelled me even further into the depths of adulthood where I have stayed ever since lol I’m 31

I have never understood responses on these threads. I think some people live with their parents too long, or let their partners make decisions for them. I have never had a problem feeling like a grown up. It is nice to have autonomy, freedom and fun.

I'm 42. I've had phases of adult ness. They usually pass. The first was probably qualifying as a teacher at 25. Then during family court with husbands ex. (28-32) Having a 3rd child (36 somehow more adulty than the other 2) buying a house with a huge mortgage (41) and most recently reacting to lockdown business related issues. (42)

Running a business, going to work, being a mum.....somehow don't make me feel adulty lol

About 30 l reckon....friends were having kids from early 20's and the thought of that filled me with absolute horror!!

32, home owner, professional job and one little boy, I still don’t feel like an adult.

There was an incident around September when my friends baby had a little bump, they asked me what to do as they thought I was a responsible adult as I’m a parent. Instead we phoned someones mum, you know, an actual adult.

I don't think I am there yet but I am getting there. I'm 46 in the summer !

I mean I have a degree and a professional career and a good relationship and two well adjusted kids so I am not doing too bad.

But underneath I was for a long time emotionally very, well not immature as that is pejorative, but undeveloped. I could be quite impulsive, quite moody sometimes, and be childish in some particular areas like just expecting DH to manage the money while I spent too much and didn't take care over it.
Or I would run a car but just not know how to change a wheel or how insurance works really and expect DH to sort that.

I would also not be very good at knowing what I was feeling nor be very good at managing those feelings. So I would sometimes have outbursts. Like a child whose feelings are too big to manage.

It's only recently that I've started feeling the germ of a grown up feeling inside, like a true developed-ness. Like I have what I need inside to be an adult. I think it's a long time in the making.

I was always very intelligent and high achieving but my emotion intelligence was pretty limited. . Nowadays I find it much easier to know I am feeling X or Y and to be able to think about that and tell someone about it, rather than try an act it out and make everyone else around me feel it too.

16. Sadly

It was during lockdown when my children were playing in the garden and my oldest DD2.5 said " mum, I need a drink please". She'd never called me mum before and I felt like a real grown up!

I'm 36 and don't yet. 3 kids, mortgage, good job. I feel like a fraud sometimes, like I'm just 'playing house'.

Probably at 36 when I became a mother for the first time.

TBH, I still don't really. I'm 38, fairly responsible job these days, three dc, been married for ages, tell teenagers to shut up on buses, tut over people having a BBQ when I've hung a wash out etc etc, but inside I don't feel any more of an adult than I did 20 years ago.

34. It was the year my eldest became a teenager, I finally got life insurance, learnt to drive, and bought a house.

I had my first child at 21, but still was a complete imposter adult before I worked out all the responsible stuff.

I moved out when I was 18, buying a house and get married at 22 I think I felt more of an adult. Definitely feel it now I m pregnant.

I don't. I'm 53 and I kinda struggle with adulthood, or the concept of it. I mean, I function OK: run the house, pay the bills, hold down a good full-time job but, in my head, I still feel like a child.

Sometimes when I get in the car, I look around to see if anyone's going to report me to the police for under age driving

It doesn't affect my life but I still get giddy when I come home to my house and realise that it's mine, even though I bought it in 1993.

I had a really lovely childhood and I wonder if that's why I've got a touch of the Peter Pan syndrome

When I was about 22 and working in a shop, I was referred to as “the lady” to a small child throwing a tantrum by their parent. As in “the lady will kick you out the shop if you don’t stop”. That was a low point.
But overall I think the older you get the more you realise most people are just winging it.
I’m 31, married, soon to be mother of 2, home owner, hold a full clean driving license, a job, life insurance and a will. Still don’t feel like a real adult

I'm in my late 30's and I have those feelings every day. It is not healthy. makes me feel constantly rubbish, but I just can't get out of the habit of feeling jealous of others and worrying what people think.

Im a 31 year old pregnant mother and wife and i still feel like im an imposter to the adult world 🤣

Same. I’m 33, own my home, live alone - have a good job with a decent amount of responsibility. Still call my dad when my car breaks down and consult my mum for large household purchases

I’m 50 with a responsible job, children, property etc and I still don’t always feel adult.
I think it’s a good thing.
I can be responsible when needed I lost one parent as a teenager and the other a decade ago. I am financially prudent.

However, I hope I don’t take myself too seriously, that I retain my wonder at the world. I hope I never become pompous or too stuck in my ways to learn from my DC.

33 after having my 2nd DC.