To ask what age you started feeling ‘adulty’?

[sunflowery]

Because I’m 27 and I still don’t! I feel like I’m pretending and on the inside I’m still that insecure teenager worrying whether or not people like me. I have a job, a mortgage, bills etc.

I watch my friends having kids and am often broody myself but then I think oh my god that’s something ADULTS do, I’m not an adult yet!

Where am I going wrong? When did you all start feeling like a proper adult?

I’m 32.. I have a mortgage, bills, kids, blah blah blah blah.. sometimes I go to the supermarket at night time and think “Hahahaha I’m out by myself in the dark and I’m ALLOWED”.

Yeah I’m pretty sure I’m still 14 on the inside.

Varies.
I remember one Saturday morning in my first year at University when I woke up and thought "I can do what the hell I like. Get up when I want with nobody nagging me. Do exactly what I want to all day." It was a sort of revelation and I will never forget the feeling of freedom of that moment.

But adulthood I suppose came on incrementally really.
Buying my first house at 23 felt very grown up (sorry guys but this was 1985 and the North of England so £18k got you a mid terrace property then)
More sobering I guess was losing my Dad when I was 25 and realising how much emotional support Mum would need.
Undoubtedly biggest adult thing was becoming a parent - 33.
If I am honest there are still times now when I am late 50s when I don't feel fully prepared for things. My mother's death I took in my stride but it still vaguely shocks me that I have copies of both my sisters wills. No I don't feel grown up enough to cope with being an executor of a will,

I’m still winging it....age 40, partner, 2 kids, dogs, mortgage...I’m not sure I’m ever going to feel ‘adulty’. The trick is making others think you know what the hell you're doing, mostly the kids. If the kids ever realise that their parents don’t have a clue, we’re truly fucked. 🤣

I was the first of my friends to have a baby and we all went out for dinner not long after she was born. Part way through one of my friends suddenly went “oh god, she’s going to think of us like we think of our parents friends” and it blew all our minds that we were the parents and grown ups now!

I also felt really grown up when I employed a window cleaner for the first time!

Absolutely making it all up as I go along......look at others and think wow they are real grown ups in complete amazement....I am a mum, have a dog, mortgage and all that shizzle but it still blows my mind I am responsible for keeping small humans alive.
I have power of attorney for someone.......me the person who spends her life looking for the house keys and wrestling kids. 34......I think maybe this is as grown up as it gets!!

35 though I still enjoy childish behaviour if you like. I don't think I'll ever be a fully responsible adult.

Oh you have about another 5-10 years, try to enjoy the lack of adulty.

38 and still waiting

The day of my 30th 21st birthday
I woke up made dc breakfast, took them to school. Then made my way to currys to 'treat myself' to a new hoover.

Only happens occasionally. I'm 53.

30 and still feel like a child inside!

It comes & goes! Being a Nanny & in charge of a baby at 17 was one time. Getting my first rented flat at University. Then being a primary Teacher. Also, supporting a lot of young grads when I was a PA, I was v protective of them as some colleagues exploited their naivety & that gets my goat. But sometimes I still feel like I'm pretending & I'm 50.

I am 55 and still feel 15, quite a shock when I walk past a mirror

Now and then. Usually when other people look at me expecting me to be one. I'm 54. Or something has happened which requires me to fake being The Grown Up.

My DM told me the other day I don't count as an adult until I turn 30. I'm 29, have a DS, a house, am married, been working for years in a high pressured job, cared for ageing family members. I feel adulty!

47 here. Have a proper job, a mortgage and a husband. Been driving for 30 years! Still look at other women of similar age and wonder how they got to be so grown up. I think I got stuck around 23 mentally, I don't think I'll ever feel like a proper adult even when I'm 90.

I don't feel remotely grown up.

I'm in my 50s, and suspect it'll never happen for me

Mid-30s I'd say, but even then only rarely and when doing 'adulty' things. Mostly I feel the same in my head as when I was a teenager, just with more life knowledge and much less concern about what other people think.

Most people are making it up as we go along, don't worry!

38 with a child, an executive career and a bloody stock portfolio.

I still don't even know what I want to be when I grow up.

I'm 60 and still far from feeling it

In fact I told someone at my medical practice last week that I am young - didn't realise at the time, but had a huge laugh after I put down the phone

Never. You never do really. You just add the years on. So at 27 you are still 7,8,9,16, etc.

Ok you will get weighed down with responsibility and experience at some point. But when I'm clearing up after a roast dinner I still feel like an unlucky 12-yr-old, targeted for chores just because I'm quite competent.

Probably around 30 as I was starting to get bored of partying and going out as much. I was independent and settled with a good job etc a few years before that point, but there was a period where I lived for the weekend and my work and home life felt like two different conflicting existences.

Now in my late 30s I feel like a proper adult though and much more comfortable with who I am, and I know my mind much better than I did at 30. I feel like I change much less every few years now, whilst before my perspective on life and tastes in many things changed a fair bit every few years.

Late thirties when dc were nearly teenagers and I was in a much more senior job. My house is organised and stylish and I’m much more comfortable in my own skin. After years of anxiety and trying to be invincible, I went to my gp, went on ADs for 6 months and got expensive therapy for a year. Fell back in love with dh who was my childhood sweetheart and we had grown apart a bit after having dc quite young. I still don’t feel adulty all the time though and now I’m more relaxed I’m more fun than I’ve been in years!

Wow - it was incredibly therapeutic and uplifting to write that post. Thanks for the thread @sunflowery