To have called them all selfish idiots?

[finneganlikesvinnegan]

There is a FB group for my DD8's school class parent's. I'd say around half of the mum's (including me) are in the group but the group is massively dominated by 6/7 mums who are all friends and frequently make plans with each other. Anybody else who posts or asks a question often gets ignored but that's beside the point.

One particular mum, will call her L, lives on a huge farm with lots of land and a big cottage. I know this as DD went to a whole class party there last year.

Now, naturally since Covid-19 shut the school the FB group has gone silent but today L posted pictures of her DD along with the DC of some of the other people in the group saying what a lovely time the children had having a campout on their farmland on Saturday night. From what I gather, she invited around 6 DC and they turned up. There's pictures of them all eating in the house, playing on the fields (in close proximity) and having a campfire with tents etc.

A close friend of mine recently lost her lovely mum to Covid-19 so I saw red and wrote quite a long-winded rant calling them selfish and stating how they are putting their DC in danger. Now I'm not a curtain twitcher and certainly don't give a flying fuck about Carol down the road walking her dog 3 times a day as an excuse to get out, but this seemed to be really taking the piss. Logged off to have a bath and calm down. Log on again just a few minutes ago to see that I've been removed from the group and blocked by L.

Now I'm dreading DD going back to school and having to face them in the playground. Did I overreact? Surely I didn't? It just doesn't half piss me off that I'm following lockdown in a tiny fucking terrace with 2 primary aged kids, a toddler and a garden the size of a bath, and yet these people with all of their lovely land and money can't even adhere to the restrictions slightly.

Having an argument on FB is like having an argument in the street. It's best not to, even if you are right.

Perhaps it might have been better to have kept your thoughts to yourself. You can think them but it was never going to work out expressing them in the group chat now, was it?

I hear you! It seems that some landed and monied people seem to think they're immune. I heard of something quite similar this afternoon, a party held by someone who really ought to know better and attended by some people whose professions really made me raise my eyebrows considering the circumstances.
There's no accounting for stupid and all the money and land in the world won't make a jot of difference if one of those visitors was contagious.
All graves are the same size.

How did you think she'd react? You can't have thought she'd have apologised, agreed and things would have been hunky dory?

I guess what really gets to me is that I know a couple of these mums are very snobby and I'm willing to bet they are discussing between themselves that I'm just 'jealous'.

Disgusts me, thinking the rules don't apply to them.

What actually bothers you?

Is it that they're selfish idiots?

That they think the rules dont apply to them?

Or that you're not part of their gang?

Yanbu to put what you like on fb. But as a pp said yabu to think you'll get an apology.

You can’t hope to have any control over what other people do at this strange time. Making school mum enemies over it certainly won’t change their behaviour.

YANBU to be annoyed. That was an idiotic move on their behalf - I'm amazed numerous mums agreed to it! Surely some of them have vulnerable family members?

Anyway you weren't wrong but like a PP said - arguing on FB is a pointless endeavor. But you're human and they were asking for it posting photographs on a public forum. You'd think they'd have some shame and would have a private WhatsApp group between themselves - unless they're the insufferable kind of people who never grew up and evolved beyond the playground and are trying to show off?

Anyway I would just ignore them when your DD goes back to school. Act like it never happened. Don't let them get to you

I think you should have minded your own business. What did you expect your rant to achieve? They neither asked for or care about your opinion

I agree it is infuriating. My dsis lives on a nice street they had a VE day gathering, rules agreed beforehand that it would be 10 minutes, people with a glass in their hands, then all sitting in their own gardens. Apparently people turned up at the meeting point with tables, chairs, coolboxes, bottles of wine, and the party went on for 4 hours. Dsis and her dh absented themselves after the agreed 10 minutes. Now lots of people in the street are not talking to them.

The rules apply to everybody. Don't understand why people don't get it.

She blocked you because she didn’t like what you said about her.
You may not be the only person who has voiced their disapproval, and many other parents may agree with what you have said.
You have every right to say how you feel, but I would leave it now and not engage with her further or give any more thought to the matter.
I am sure your daughter will be fine, children rarely have the same issues that the parents stress over.

You are right to be annoyed but ranting in a fb group was never going to end well. You can't argue with stupid.

I would have just ignored.

You were in the right by the law of the land but she will have thought she was right or she wouldn't have done it. You shamed her (rightly so) and her reaction to shame is spite and anger.

Incidentally it's pretty crass of her to share photos to a group which show not all of the kids were invited. Very poor manners so clearly not that upper class.

It's obviously not a particularly active FB group if only those 6/7 mums bother to have a conversation

(because, let's face it, if 6 people will talk when FarmQueen posts and no-one talks when TerraceMum posts it means FarmQueen has some friends and 23 people never bother to answer anyone, doesn't it?)

Obviously they are going against the guidelines. Presumably they have heard the guidelines and have (for whatever reasons) decided not to adhere to them. What on earth makes you think that they will change their minds because they were harangued by an acquaintance (who is showing every indication of indeed being jealous)?

If you are not their mum or their priest, you have no business harping on at them.

Yanbu OP and this is the reason I dont post or go on Facebook anymore because I know I would lose my temper and offend some friends.
When school goes back ignore the mean girls. Nobody needs friends like that.

I don’t disagree with your point of view and also agree with a previous poster that it was crass to share photos on the school chat of an event that not everyone was invited to, just as a basic.
But you know how it goes... you often find that Queen Bees are not the brightest bee in the hive, just the biggest. She doesn’t give a shit what you think of her. She’ll be pissed off at you for calling her out in public though. It wasn’t worth making trouble for yourself over.

Yes you overacted. You overacted because the event had already happened and it's not up to you to teach them a valuable lesson or to tell them off. What did you think they were going to say? 'Oh yes, now you've explained it we see the error of our ways'

Obviously they shouldn't have done it, you know it, we know it they know it. But 'seeing red' and writing 'long winded rants' isn't going to change that.

The only good thing that has come from this is you aren't in the messaging group any more as it doesn't sound particularly healthy.

It's unbelievable how stupid people are. Sod their bloody group. You are quite correct OP and well done. I'd have done the same. Sod them.

I can understand how you feel having seen covid effect your friends family and yes they were going against the guidelines but I think I would have just scrolled past rather than start drama with people you have to see daily in the school yard and who could cause friendship problems for your DD.
What’s done is done now though, no point worrying about it.

I think you should have minded your own business. They were hardly going to apologise and agree they were selfish. I’m sick of hearing people whinging about what other people are doing. Ok they aren’t right and are selfish but people are getting involved in what other people are doing and I don’t think it’s necessary.

😂👌 I would say that most people on the group were thinking the exact same thing as you but just didn’t have the balls to say it. So I wouldn’t worry about L and her little cronies, it just shows that money can’t buy you brains!🙂

I would have felt exactly the same as you do but I wouldn't have said anything. You'll never change their minds.

You won’t change people like that with their obnoxious behaviour. People tend to run in packs and turn on anyone who sticks their neck out, even when they are right.

Hold your head up and be glad not be part of that group any more, the other parents are probably silently cheering you.