Sexism/racism

[VivienScott]

A male friend of mine pasted the following on FB to which I responded, that while I totally agree with the sentiment, the first sentence should be amended to “I have privilege as a white male...” on the grounds that women of all ethnicities will think twice about going for a jog, leaving a party, partying on NYE etc because of the heightened threat of violence we face. I’m now being told to check my privilege and that by making that comment I’m racist by making it all about me. Was I being unreasonable? To reiterate, I just said the first sentence needed changing, I wholeheartedly agreed with the sentiment.

I have privilege as a white person because I can do all of these things without thinking twice about it...
I can go jogging (#AmaudArbery).
I can relax in the comfort of my own home (#BothemSean and #AtatianaJefferson).
I can ask for help after being in a car crash (#JonathanFerrell and #RenishaMcBride).
I can have a cellphone (#StephonClark).
I can leave a party to get to safety (#JordanEdwards).
I can play loud music (#JordanDavis).
I can sell CD's (#AltonSterling).
I can sleep (#AiyanaJones)
I can walk from the corner store (#MikeBrown).
I can play cops and robbers (#TamirRice).
I can go to church (#Charleston9).
I can walk home with Skittles (#TrayvonMartin).
I can hold a hair brush while leaving my own bachelor party (#SeanBell).
I can party on New Years (#OscarGrant).
I can get a normal traffic ticket (#SandraBland).
I can lawfully carry a weapon (#PhilandoCastile).
I can break down on a public road with car problems (#CoreyJones).
I can shop at Walmart (#JohnCrawford) .
I can have a disabled vehicle (#TerrenceCrutcher).
I can read a book in my own car (#KeithScott).
I can be a 10yr old walking with our grandfather (#CliffordGlover).
I can decorate for a party (#ClaudeReese).
I can ask a cop a question (#RandyEvans).
I can cash a check in peace (#YvonneSmallwood).
I can take out my wallet (#AmadouDiallo).
I can run (#WalterScott).
I can breathe (#EricGarner).
I can live (#FreddieGray).

White privilege is real. Take the time to consider someone else's experience today. Take action as an ally in your daily life.

It's about race. Simple as that. Things don't have to be about everything.

And not all women "women of all ethnicities will think twice about going for a jog, leaving a party, partying on NYE etc because of the heightened threat of violence we face" you know...

I agree op.

OP, yes YABU and were making it all about you. Sometimes the topic is just not about white women - and that is OK sometimes. This Facebook post was about race, not sex.

I think you should consider why you thought the post should only refer to white men - do you not think white women have privilege? Please look up every single one of those names and consider whether those incidents would have happened to a white woman in the same situation.

Well the post said "going for a jog". I personally can go for a jog without fear of being shot dead. If it was dark out, I would think twice.

But the post is about how black people are persecuted just for being black. You inserting your correction was a bit out of order. All females experience sexism, but it's not to the extent of being gunned down for merely existing.

women of all ethnicities will think twice about going for a jog, leaving a party, partying on NYE etc because of the heightened threat of violence we face

Not true, it depends where you live, SOME women might but I don't think twice about doing any of these things, but I know I'm privileged.

You turned a racism discussion into a sexism discussion. You are part of the reason that feminists get a bad rep.

It's not all about women.

YABU.

Why did you have to comment and take over the post he made? It’s about race not sex. Women can go for jog without being shot. Some of the examples don’t fit with me because they weren’t only a race issue but that’s not the point. The post isn’t about women. You can't change every argument about an issue to ‘but women’ !

YABU.
Plenty of the names on that list are women. Women who were murdered by the police because they did not have the protection of whiteness.

I guess it grates because a lot of that applies to white males specifically. Being able to feel safe going for a jog isn’t a white privilege, it’s a white male privilege. So is everything on that list that involves going from A to B alone. I’m not saying that people shouldn’t highlight white privilege, they absolutely should but if you are highlighting your white privilege while completely ignoring your Male privilege/straight privilege/class privilege etc. then you’re being hypocritical.

YABU.

There are both men and women on that list. The post is specifically about race and racism.

You did the equivalent of saying “what about the men” on a post about violence against women.

I think you have to take it that the post is about that individual's experience of white privilege - there are plenty of things on there that other individuals, regardless of race or sex, might not be able to do because of their particular circumstances (e.g. 'I can lawfully carry a weapon' - very few people in the UK of any race can do that) - and see the post as encouraging others to 'check their privilege' generally rather than treating the list as a tick-list.

YABU. Some of those things a white woman might feel worried about doing, but not most, eg getting a parking ticket; asking a cop a question, etc. And that's because it's a post about racism. That's the experience of black people (not just black men). In you posting as you did you are not listening to that experience, or understanding it. You're dismissing it and lessening it. Because you dont understand it. Because of your privilege.

I’m sure I’ve read that men are 4x more likely to be randomly attacked

Men are more likely to be attacked because many women actively avoid putting themselves into situations that they fear would get them attacked - eg walking along the canal at night, confronting a man who bumps into them in a bar.

@TorqueWrench81 Where did you get the information that Tamir Rice pulled his replica gun on police? He did not. I saw the footage. He was pointing it at various things BEFORE the polica came. When they arrived they just shot at him.
It's dangerous to spread such misinformation.

YABU to comment on a post talking about racism asking for them to “correct” it.

However, you would not be unreasonable to make your own sexism post with examples of women killed doing the same activities. I disagree with many posters that women don’t have to worry about going for a jog or interacting with police. Especially in the US which is where these examples are drawn from. There are women attacked, raped and killed while out for a jog every month in the US. And some of them are white so it’s not racism, but sex based violence. They also just caught a police serial killer that is responsible for kidnapping, raping and killing several women (mostly white ones).

Men are more likely to be attacked because many women actively avoid putting themselves into situations that they fear would get them attacked - eg walking along the canal at night, confronting a man who bumps into them in a bar.

Nice bit of victim blaming there

The only example on there that is wrong is the church example. If you look at US mass church shootings, 9 in 10 are in majority white, Christian churches.

some ethnicities do commit significantly more crime - of course the reason behind this is likely socio economic in origin but it doesn’t change the statistics.

No, some ethnicities are convicted of crime more than others. When you add in unreported and unrecorded crimes, especially corporate crimes (a white MC speciality), the picture changes.

I was thinking victim blaming too snoozy. Many men also actively try and avoid dangerous situations. Imagine saying more women get raped than men because men actively avoid rapey situations unlike women. Terrible.

Sorry, should have said “white collar crime”, which also includes corporate.

I'm not blaming the victims, merely explaining one reason why more men than women are attacked, but the level of fear is far higher amongst women to a level where they are simply not present in a situation to be attacked.

Eg, there has been a few mostly young men drowning in the Manchester canals after disappearing following a night out in the city centre. There are rumours of the 'Manchester Pusher' an attacker who pushes the victims into the canal.

All the victims have been male, because the number of women who would walk along the canal alone in the early hours of the morning is vanishingly small, whereas many men would do this without thinking twice about it. A significant difference in risk assessment between the sexes.

If you never walk along the canal, you will never be there to be pushed into it.

Teastory,
And how can you add in “unreported and unrecorded crimes” when there is no report or record of them? It is essentially someone’s wild guess pulled out of thin air.

It is true that certain races do disproportionally commit more crimes than others. Whites disproportionally commit mass murder/serial killing for example. Unless you are saying there are “unreported and unrecorded” missing people that were definitely killed by black mass murderers/serial killers?

Barbara,
So it’s their fault for going by a canal path at night? Sorry still victim blaming.

No of course it's not their fault FFS. Everyone should be able to go about their daily business and do whatever they want without fear of attack.

But the reality is that there is a risk of attack in some situations, eg being alone at night in isolated locations where, should an attacker wish to strike, they would have more chance of committing the crime and getting away undetected, and rightly or wrongly some people modify their behavior for this reason, and rightly or wrongly, there is a significant difference between the sexes.

If you asked 100 men and 100 women if they would walk along the canal alone at night, far more men than women would do this.