Sexism/racism

[VivienScott]

A male friend of mine pasted the following on FB to which I responded, that while I totally agree with the sentiment, the first sentence should be amended to “I have privilege as a white male...” on the grounds that women of all ethnicities will think twice about going for a jog, leaving a party, partying on NYE etc because of the heightened threat of violence we face. I’m now being told to check my privilege and that by making that comment I’m racist by making it all about me. Was I being unreasonable? To reiterate, I just said the first sentence needed changing, I wholeheartedly agreed with the sentiment.

I have privilege as a white person because I can do all of these things without thinking twice about it...
I can go jogging (#AmaudArbery).
I can relax in the comfort of my own home (#BothemSean and #AtatianaJefferson).
I can ask for help after being in a car crash (#JonathanFerrell and #RenishaMcBride).
I can have a cellphone (#StephonClark).
I can leave a party to get to safety (#JordanEdwards).
I can play loud music (#JordanDavis).
I can sell CD's (#AltonSterling).
I can sleep (#AiyanaJones)
I can walk from the corner store (#MikeBrown).
I can play cops and robbers (#TamirRice).
I can go to church (#Charleston9).
I can walk home with Skittles (#TrayvonMartin).
I can hold a hair brush while leaving my own bachelor party (#SeanBell).
I can party on New Years (#OscarGrant).
I can get a normal traffic ticket (#SandraBland).
I can lawfully carry a weapon (#PhilandoCastile).
I can break down on a public road with car problems (#CoreyJones).
I can shop at Walmart (#JohnCrawford) .
I can have a disabled vehicle (#TerrenceCrutcher).
I can read a book in my own car (#KeithScott).
I can be a 10yr old walking with our grandfather (#CliffordGlover).
I can decorate for a party (#ClaudeReese).
I can ask a cop a question (#RandyEvans).
I can cash a check in peace (#YvonneSmallwood).
I can take out my wallet (#AmadouDiallo).
I can run (#WalterScott).
I can breathe (#EricGarner).
I can live (#FreddieGray).

White privilege is real. Take the time to consider someone else's experience today. Take action as an ally in your daily life.

The post was about race, and you’ve made it all about you.

Yes, white women have extra problems because they are women.

Black women have extra problems because they are women AND because they are black.

The post focussed on the racial discrimination aspect.

In the same way that men (regardless of race) can go out jogging without fearing rape, so can white people (regardless of gender) go out jogging without fearing that (in the US) they will be shot.

If your friend was telling her story about being raped while jogging it would be absolutely inappropriate for a man to try to suggest it had nothing to do with gender because men are victims of street violence too. Even though street violence against men is a story worthy of telling, its existence does not negate the specific problem of violence against women.

In the same way, it was really wrong of you to try to shoehorn the issue of violence against white women into a discussion about racial violence.

Given how horrific and how recent the Amaud Arbery case is I think it's really insensitive and even a bit sick to start picking holes in it and saying oh but we have it just as bad.... The murder of Amaud Arbery COULD NOT have happened to a white woman. He was murdered because he was black and his murder is part of a history of public murders in the US South committed against black victims. Have some respect.

I can imagine how hard everyone reading your replies to that rolled their eyes. I bet you there is a talk about it somewhere...

OP why not turn it round and see how you’d feel if you did a post about how women can’t do certain things, and a black male wanted to amend it to point out they face discrimination/have issues too?

Just let a post be about what they’re writing it about.

You have got this so wrong and in your hideously tone-deaf response to your friend's Facebook post you have embarrassed yourself in front of all of his friends. And everybody here, but at least you can name-change here and remain anonymous.
Your 'but what about us white women' reply to this Facebook post was obnoxious. Women (even though there are what I assume are women's names in that post) don't have to be acknowledged in everything. I can imagine you kicking off because women aren't typically mentioned when names of war heroes are read out at remembrance services. You're doing nobody any favours at all.

Tone-deaf, OP. Yes, the safety of women is important, but this isn't the thread to make that point.

You're basically doing #AllLivesMatter.

Admit you misjudged it to your FB friend and move on.