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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Experiences with Karma

92 replies

Chocolatelover254 · 09/05/2020 15:11

Not really an AIBU at all - feel free to tell me off! Wasn’t sure where to post this.
I am desperately frustrated with a situation in my life and the only thing keeping me going is the idea that life isn’t always this unfair and being the bigger person will serve me in the long term. But some days that’s hard to believe.
So, what are your experiences with karma? Do you believe in it? Please share your story with me!

OP posts:
Windyatthebeach · 09/05/2020 15:22

Took me 2 long hard years to make plans to leave abusive dh. He refused to let me take any of dc baby pics. Or anything I had brought to the marriage..
He stashed all photos and pic cds in his car.
Car broke some and was left at the local garage ..
Car burnt out in an electrical fire on site.

Even better bit was he had no insurance..
Zero pics.
Zero car.
Zero cash.

Bloody amazing.
Imo...

Dozer · 09/05/2020 15:23

Sorry you’ve had a hard time. Flowers

Atheist, so don’t believe in karma.

What do you mean “be the bigger person”?

Thickmuthafuckers · 09/05/2020 15:24

That’s not karma Confused

Fimofriend · 09/05/2020 15:24

I don't really believe in karma, but I have noticed, that people who are unpleasant and selfish tend to have fewer friends.

I had a relative ask me how come I have friends and acquaintances I have known all my life even though I don't even live in the same country anymore and also wonder how come I had gained new friends where I lived after I had only lived in Britain for three months. She said that she only had friends for two years at most. I think I just answered something glib about my and my friends not having anything better to do than to hang out with each other, for what could I say? She is very selfish and always expects her friends and relatives to do a lot for her but acts offended if they ask her to do anything for them. She befriended someone just so she could borrow their car and when she and her DH got a car, she dumped them like a hot potato. She is also very judgemental, whereas it took me several years of rude behavior from her before I could even admit to myself, that she did something wrong.

Windyatthebeach · 09/05/2020 15:25

He was so adamant I could not have any pics he drove round in a photo filled car for weeks!
Then he ended up without any either!!

Original poster
Chocolatelover254 · 09/05/2020 15:27

@Windyatthebeach that’s amazing!! Seems like a pretty nasty person I’m glad karma came around!!

@Dozer I’m trying to co parent with a narcissist who mentally abuses me so much. I never stoop and always remain stable and fall apart when he’s not aware but I can’t understand how he can be so nasty and sail through life the way he does

OP posts:
ChandlerIsTheBestFriend · 09/05/2020 15:32

No. I don’t think there is any such thing as karma. Beyond the logical- if you’ve done a shit thing or lots of shit things people will think badly of you, be wary of engaging with you and you will probably lose out on opportunities in work or socially as a result. Like if someone is know to have cheated on their partner then anyone who knows about that will avoid choosing them as a partner in future. Natural consequences.

My friend is a regular user of “karma will get them” about anyone who has wronged her or me or any of her other friends and it really irritates me. I get it’s a comfort to her but it’s rubbish. She’d also be the first to say “oh he’s a bastard but he didn’t deserve that” if say her abusive ex husband were to be beaten up.

ChandlerIsTheBestFriend · 09/05/2020 15:34

So what would you like to happen to your Ex OP? What would need to happen to him to satisfy you that karma had done its job?

ParkheadParadise · 09/05/2020 15:35

I don't believe in karma.
My dd was murdered and i watched the evil bastard walk free from court with a massive smile on his face. He lived in my hometown I would see him about everytime i went to visit my mum and siblings. I'll be honest i did think about paying someone to do him in.I have never hated anyone as much as i hated him.
Last year our family liaison officer got in touch to tell us he had been found dead(drug overdose). I felt nothing i was more upset no-one had murdered him and he hadn't suffered what my dd did.

Carpathian2 · 09/05/2020 15:38

I will probably sound evil saying this, but I don't care.

My exh was emotionally, sexually and physically abusive alcoholic. When we were together I helped him in rehab, went to every appointment with him, but he didn't want to give up drinking and it got so bad I ended up in a refuge with my ds covered in bruises.

Anyway, he ignored warnings from the doctors about DVT and smoking and ended up having his leg amputated at the knee. So now he can't come to my house and harass me, result!

I know this makes me sound evil, but I don't care. That man broke me and karma has paid him a timely visit. Btw, he's still drinking and smoking like a train Hmm

Carpathian2 · 09/05/2020 15:41

@ParkheadParadise

I'm so sorry to hear that Thanks

ChandlerIsTheBestFriend · 09/05/2020 15:43

Ok so if the bad things that happened to those that wronged you are karma- what is the reason for the bad things that happened to you? Is that your karma for wronging someone else?

slingonashirt · 09/05/2020 15:51

@Carpathian2 pretty similar tale from me, exp, abusive alcoholic, broke me in every way possible, financially, emotionally, physically.
Fast forward 2 years, he has a massive stroke and is now a cripple.
Zero sympathy, huge karma.

Carpathian2 · 09/05/2020 15:54

@slingonashirt I'm sorry to hear you had the same experience. I spent ages trying to get rid of him and now I have. And I'm glad.

ListedBuilding · 09/05/2020 16:08

The Karen on Facebook version of karma isn’t what it actually means.

I’m always astounded by really nasty people wishing ill on others for the “wrongs” they perceive to have been done by them.

All the while oblivious to the possibility that their egregious behaviour just might have an impact on why their lives are so shite.

squiglet111 · 09/05/2020 16:21

Not sure if it's karma because I don't think she has truely got what she deserves...but at least a bit of it...

An aunt of mine many years ago bought my grans house from her with her husband. She managed to get her to pay £20k less than the asking price (20 years ago so a a huge amount. Around 1995 ish) she promised my gran that she would always have a room in her house because of this reduction, for the rest of her life. As soon as she bought the house she told my gran that the house was falling down and would cost loads of money to fix and the house wasn't worth what she paid for it so wanted to borrow £70k of the £100k she paid for it. My gran handed over the money. My aunt spent the money to do up the house. Not too long after my gran decided she couldn't live there as she was just used to baby sit and didn't feel wanted so she moved in with another aunt that lived in a social housing 1 bed flat. The aunt that swindled my gran took about 10 years to pay the money back to my gran that she borrowed. By that time the house was worth over £500k. A few years ago the aunts husband died. When he died it became clear that they were penny less and had lived a luxury lifestyle by borrowing money and remortgaging to the hilt. My aunt stayed with him as she assumed there would be a big life insurance payment but there wasn't. His funeral was paid for by people in the family clubbing together to pay it off. She actually moved into the aunts flat where my gran lived! So she kind of got karma for what she did..... But now she's found a reasonably well off man, married him and moved into his house.... So she's not really had her cumuppance. Only difference is everyone in the family is done with her now and won't have anything to do with her. The story is a lot longer and involves a lot of other situations and money lent/lost over the years and some terrible behaviour when my gran died.... Horrible person

itsnotcakeitsbaby · 09/05/2020 16:25

Yeah I think karma is being confused with a kind of poetic justice concept? Karma is never ending and can't really be measured by single acts/incidents.

BirdieFriendReturns · 09/05/2020 16:26

Two of my old bosses who bullied me are dead now. I’m not sorry either.

ChandlerIsTheBestFriend · 09/05/2020 16:38

Two of my old bosses who bullied me are dead now.

😂😂😂😂

I’m sorry but you can’t be serious? How on earth is them dying any form of karma? You will die too- you know that- yes? So will your death be karma for you being mean to someone once? (Don’t say you’ve never been mean, everyone has)

BirdieFriendReturns · 09/05/2020 16:43

They had an untimely demise, put it that way, quite unpleasant, some might say,

And yes, despite the hype over CV19, we are all going to die one day!

DrunkUnicorn · 09/05/2020 16:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bee222 · 09/05/2020 16:47

The Karen on Facebook version of karma isn’t what it actually means

That’s weird - My name is Karen, I’m on Facebook, and I think Karma is a load of woo bollocks along with LOA.

Honeybee85 · 09/05/2020 16:47

My ex who was a terrible misogenystic dickhead went bankrupt 6 months after I left him and still lives with mummy and daddy at 44 years old whilst I moved on and have a family now.

As a very young worker I was falsely accused of theft by another collegue in front of other collegues, very humiliating experience. I complained about it to my boss but he did nothing and at that time I was afraid to take it further. 4 Years later I had become a teamleader in same company and the collegue who had falsely accused me years before desperately wanted a job that was on my team.
It was my great pleasure to make sure she didn't get it. I left the company 1 month after I rejected her for that job and before I left I warned my boss to never ever give her a job in the team and explained to him what she had done. He told me he would keep her out as well.

ChandlerIsTheBestFriend · 09/05/2020 16:48

They had an untimely demise, put it that way, quite unpleasant, some might say

So do lots of people. A family member died a very painful death trapped in his car while his children, also trapped, watched. Was that karma?

Whatisthisfuckery · 09/05/2020 16:50

My ex didn’t disclose his pension in his court paperwork for our divorce. I ended up stuck in a corner having to sign away my share of the house until his death because he had no money, or so we thought. Before I signed the final consent order we had to submit up to date bank statements. turned out