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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Experiences with Karma

92 replies

Chocolatelover254 · 09/05/2020 15:11

Not really an AIBU at all - feel free to tell me off! Wasn’t sure where to post this.
I am desperately frustrated with a situation in my life and the only thing keeping me going is the idea that life isn’t always this unfair and being the bigger person will serve me in the long term. But some days that’s hard to believe.
So, what are your experiences with karma? Do you believe in it? Please share your story with me!

OP posts:
SharonasCorona · 10/05/2020 01:10

‘ We live in a world where Westerners have taken important religious concepts and turned them into easily mass produced iconography. We live in a world where “karma” is a slang word for retribution for evil deeds, instead of it’s much more complicated place in the reincarnation belief systems of Hinduism and Buddhism.’

thetempest.co/2015/05/28/culture-taste/7-fads-white-people-have-stolen-and-run-off-with/

IgiveupallthenamesIwantedareg0 · 10/05/2020 01:15

I was not aware that this thread was about abusive relationships. I have not claimed anywhere that if your partner abuses you, you must have done something to have earned it. What I am saying is that the "baddie" will get his/her comupance at some time . Please do not put accusatiions to me that are not appropriate.

DimplesToadfoot · 10/05/2020 02:18

I was left permenantly disabled when there was an armed robbery where I worked. I couldn't prove it but I knew without a shadow of doubt it was inside job. Many years later the man involved was shot and killed ... while I wouldn't wish death on anyone I couldn't help but think karma.

ItsABitOfAShitFightMate · 10/05/2020 02:42

I find it a bit bland. I prefer rogan josh.

(Sorry.)

BillHadersNewWife · 10/05/2020 02:46

My friend took a young woman under her wing and mentored her professionally....the young woman responded by having an affair with my friend's husband. 6 months later the young woman injured herself in such a way that she could no longer pursue the profession. The husband got a chronic skin condition.

HavartitoMeetYou · 10/05/2020 03:21

Oops, I must have accidentally typed “ReligiousExpertsDiscussionNet” into my browser by mistake.

Ffs it’s obvious people are using karma as a synonym for “poetic justice” and not in the Buddhist and Hindu meaning. The meanings of words change all the time, and it’s common for words to have a common usage definition that differs from the original definition. Karma is a perfectly common every day word which like many words happens to have a religious origin.

The Oxford English Dictionary defines “Karma” has having two separate meanings: one is the religious meaning, the second definition is, “Good or bad luck, viewed as resulting from one's actions.” So people using the second definition are not using it incorrectly. Unless you’re arguing against the Oxford English Dictionary.

All the snide, spiteful, vindictive jabs: does it actually make you feel good about yourself that you told the mother of a murdered child, or abuse victims, that they must have done something terrible in a former life? Then went to bed giggling about how you really put that awful “using the OED’s informal definition over the formal definition” grammar-vandal in their place?

No grieving mothers will be allowed to get away with anything less than perfect grammar, not on YOUR watch!

Anyway, since you’re all apparently devoted followers of the Buddha: enjoy your next life as a dung beetle.

AdoreTheBeach · 10/05/2020 05:37

@Honeybee85 totally get your point. Some people just like to be obtuse.

WhatInFreshHell · 10/05/2020 06:03

My EXH told a judge in family court that I, and our DS, should live in my parents back bedroom for the rest of our lives because I didn't actually pay the mortgage from my own account, he did...therefore he should get all of the equity from the sale of the house (Just to confirm, I was eventually awarded 60%) He was a vile, financially abusive twat throughout our marriage, accused me of benefit fraud etc, and told me he would make sure DS was taken away from me because I couldn't cope!

In the meantime, whilst he was living with the OW, I managed to rent a lovely little flat through the local Housing Association, still here now.

Anyway, a few months later, the OW dumped him and he had no choice but to...you've guessed it....move into his parents back bedroom! He's still there now...mainly because he spent his share of the equity on a brand new BMW with not much left over! Whilst I have a lovely little flat, a lovely life with DS and a nice healthy savings account. I'm very very happy!

Our DS is quite happy spending his weekends at my Ex MILs house, he adores them and they him.

Honeybee85 · 10/05/2020 06:04

@AdoreTheBeach

Thank you. Yes indeed! At some point ignoring is the best, I think....after all I don't have to attend every argument that I'm invited to Grin

sashh · 10/05/2020 06:50

A friend got pregnant while she was at uni, she left uni, had the baby and then married the baby's father who was a medical student. She started an OU degree.

She looked after the children when he had to study, he would go off to the library.

As a junior Dr they had hoiospital accomodation and he would phone her and ask her to run a bath so he could come home, have a bath, change clothes and go back to work.

Two children later and his career is taking of and so is his affair with a work colleague.

The marriage ended and he remaries very quickly becaous OW is pregnant.

Now my frienbd never resented doing all the child care and running the house, she saw that as being part of a team, Dr husband had never changed a nappy.

OW gives birth and sadly develops PPD, quite seriously, she can't be left at hoime with the baby so her mother is with her during the day but leaving Dr husband to do the night shift.

This is the point he realsises how much his first wife did and starts calling her to say, "I had no idea how hard this was".

Is it Karma? Is it just life? Who knows, but she felt some relief from her ex realising how hard work babies are.

StepAwayFromGoogle · 10/05/2020 07:03

I was bullied horribly at work by my boss and my boss's boss. They bought a made-up disciplinary against me. Despite me having evidence and witness statements that it wasn't true, my work refused to drop it and I had to go through the whole process and accept a verbal warning. It was a horrendous time and had a long-lasting toll on my mental health. A year or so after, my boss's boss was sacked and my boss was reigned in by her new direct leader in a very public way. I remember thinking at the time 'well, that's karma'.

Oysterbabe · 10/05/2020 07:27

I'm a big believer in karma. That's why whenever anything nasty and unfair happens to me I always go out and push over an old lady to even the score.

ALovelyBitOfSquirrel · 10/05/2020 07:49

@Carpathian2 that doesn't make you sound evil at all. It's the least he deserved by the sound of it!

@ParkheadParadise I am so sorry.

day after he crashed his motorbike, probably whilst on drugs, and broke both his legs, shattered part of his rib cage and fractured some discs in his spine

@MumMummyMamaMammy for hurting you and the babies, I'd say he definitely deserved that!

All the snide, spiteful, vindictive jabs: does it actually make you feel good about yourself that you told the mother of a murdered child, or abuse victims, that they must have done something terrible in a former life? Then went to bed giggling about how you really put that awful “using the OED’s informal definition over the formal definition” grammar-vandal in their place?

This! @1555CC Hmm

This is a great idea for a thread could have just been a funny one but the killjoys have to get all whiney about what karma is/isn't Hmm

ChandlerIsTheBestFriend · 10/05/2020 12:07

The philosophy board would probably have been a better place for this than AIBU Hmm if nobody wanted to hear opposing thoughts.

flabbyflabbyflabguts · 10/05/2020 12:23

I was brought up by parents who believed in karma. To me it seemed they just invented odd consequences.
As an atheist, it's all bs to me. Shit happens to everyone.

julybaby32 · 10/05/2020 13:02

Sadly my friend developed a severe degenerative illness, causing her great suffering. She had moved geographically away from her birth family when she married but still remained emotionally close to her family of origin. Her parents asked her to conceal her condition from the family and friends back home lest their neighbours think that the family must have done something bad to have this suffering visited on her daughter. The family of origin and most of the friends are Roman Catholic. Their request added another emotional dimension to the increase suffering of my friend.
I am not asking anyone to alter their beliefs of what they wish to say publicly about them. I am just stating that sometimes talking as if bad things must always have been deserved in some way can cause further suffering. If you feel that I have meanly deprived you of light-hearted entertainment by this, feel free to wish harm on me in revenge, but please do wish harm only on me, and not on anyone else.

BillHadersNewWife · 11/05/2020 09:44

sash I had a n editor call me once to apologize for his lack of understanding when I worked under him at the BBC whilst pregnant and parenting a toddler. He'd had a child with his wife and was regretful of his lack of understanding in the past.

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