Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

To delay my return to work after maternity leave due to Covid?

88 replies

ilikebigbuttsandicannotlie · 08/05/2020 19:38

I had planned to go back at work after my second maternity leave when ds2 was 10 months old in September. Ds2 is now 5 months and to the lockdown and ds1 being home from nursery, he hadn’t had much one on one time. We also haven’t been able to attend his various classes, go to the farm/zoo together, baby play dates etc.

I just feel like he has missed out on a lot if fun stuff I was able to do with ds1. Due to the nature of my job, I’m being asked to confirm now when I will return (not entirely legal but I understand why). I’m not sure whether to return in September or go back after the full year in November.

I’m hoping that by the autumn, things will be a bit more normal so we can have a couple of fun months just the two of us before I return to work (I do 3 days of that makes a difference). The money isn’t an issue as such so, whilst it would be nice, it’s not a dealbreaker. Please help!!

YABU- stick to your plans and return in September.
YANBU - take the extra 2 months

Tia

OP posts:

madroid · 08/05/2020 19:42

YABU

Babies don't need 121 all the time. It's perfectly normal for your baby to spend time with her family, not just you. You are being v precious imo.

On the other hand if you fancy longer and can afford it, stay off. But are you sure of all your employment/finances in this time? Eg is your DH' job secure?

Frozenfan2019 · 08/05/2020 19:46

I agree with the pp that your baby isn't missing out really but I think you probably feel you are and that's understandable. I would feel the same. You can take it so take it. I took longer with my second as I had a toddler who started pre school during my maternity leave and I wanted a bit of time just me and her so I think it's a perfectly normal thing to want.

Rebelwithallthecause · 08/05/2020 19:51

Baby’s don’t really find those things fun but if you want to do it for yourself then I see no reason

Everyone has the right to 12 months off if they want it.

Just take a few extra months and go back just before or after Christmas

Bluntness100 · 08/05/2020 19:53

I think maybe you get more from those things than your baby at this age.

Your call but do admit you are doing it for you.

Babycrackers · 08/05/2020 19:54

Your baby really won't care but I would feel I had missed out in your position so I would 100% take the extra 2 months

Pixiefringe · 08/05/2020 19:55

I would postpone going back to work. Not so much for the baby classes etc but just for the fact we are in a pandemic and if you can afford not to work right now and therefore decrease the risk if bringing the virus home to your baby that seems the sensible thing to do.

Soontobe60 · 08/05/2020 19:56

Stay off til November if you can afford to, but don't kid yourself that you'll be able to do any of the things you've missed out on. Post lockdown, lots of social things will still be off limits.
Also, a 5 month old baby doesn't need play dates or any of the other classes that have sprung up over the last few years. Save your money and play with her at home!

HarrietM87 · 08/05/2020 19:58

Agreed your baby isn’t missing out at all, but I still think they’d benefit from more time with you. And as it would be unpaid it presumably wouldn’t affect your employer too much. If you can afford then do it.

I’m pregnant and due in November and hoping things are bit more normal by then, but also worry there’ll be a winter resurgence and we’ll be back in lockdown again.

TenerifeGrief · 08/05/2020 19:59

I have to return to work in September as I will have been off a year by then. If I could take an extra couple of months I’d do it in a heartbeat.

Wolfgirrl · 08/05/2020 20:11

Do it! Dont listen to the 'entitled and precious' brigade. Most of them have had their maternity leave thank you very much, and now want to go back to acting like it is an all inclusive holiday or something.

heartsonacake · 08/05/2020 20:15

YABU. It’s a baby. It’s not missing out on anything.

I agree with pp and think you’re being precious.

Pixiefringe · 08/05/2020 20:22

Ignore the nay sayers they're probably just jealous of your time off work. Do it!

AdriannaP · 08/05/2020 20:26

Just take more time off if you can afford it. You won’t regret it. I wish I had taken my full maternity leave

millymoo1202 · 08/05/2020 20:28

I’d do it due to pandemic not my babies missing out as they don’t give a jot, that’s more for you.

wowbutter · 08/05/2020 20:29

None of that stuff is for the baby.
If you can afford it, go for it. Just please don't be one of those people petitioning the government for three months extra paid leave.

recycledteenager24 · 08/05/2020 21:10

babies don't care about yoga classes and play dates [wtf] just take the time off and enjoy it, you know you want to and why not ?

Rebelwithallthecause · 08/05/2020 21:11

My first baby I went back after 10 months thinking I couldn’t afford the last months unpaid but I regret that now.

It’s only 2 months. We would have managed fine.
And that was not in a pandemic

I’m on mat leave again (just begun) and will be taking as long off as possible as this is last baby and I want as much time as possible

Original poster

ilikebigbuttsandicannotlie · 08/05/2020 21:11

Hi all. Thanks for the responses. I know that a lot of the activities mentioned are for my enjoyment. Baby clases are fun though and ds1 loved baby sensory. I do, however, think that all babies benefit from one on one undivided attention. Ds1 is 2 and so I feel guilty that I’m sometimes not giving the baby enough. It is a tough decision.

OP posts:

Rebelwithallthecause · 08/05/2020 21:12

My ds1 is also 2 and just being on lockdown I’ve see how happy he is with me being there the whole time

Really made me realise how much he isn’t happy in daycare

Take the time
It’s precious. It’s yours to take.

LaurieMarlow · 08/05/2020 21:42

If you can afford it, absolutely do it. Not necessarily for the reasons you’ve given, but he’s only this small once.

It’s very uncertain times right now. The longer you have off, the longer you can just hunker down with the kids, not exposing anyone to unnecessary risk, not changing your routine radically. I’d do it.

LaurieMarlow · 08/05/2020 21:44

My ds1 is also 2 and just being on lockdown I’ve see how happy he is with me being there the whole time

I can relate to this. DS 2 is almost two. He’s loving lockdown.

Beckyboom · 08/05/2020 22:20

The idea of keeping an older child in nursery so you can have 1 on 1 time with a younger one is a fairly new thing for our generation; I wonder how many people now in their 30s/40s ever had that 1 on 1 time? It’s not vital or necessary; nice to have sure.

If you want to take longer then you should but it’s by no means vital to your baby’s development in any way.

Beckyboom · 08/05/2020 22:23

(I say that as someone who had two under two at home full time for 18 months until I went back to work - as far as I can tell, my little one didn’t suffer from not having my undivided attention - I know it is hard not to feel guilty about it)

minettechatouette · 08/05/2020 22:23

If money’s not an issue, work are fine with it and you want to, why wouldn’t you? Go for it I say! It’s only a couple of extra months, it won’t make a difference to your career but you might make some very happy memories.

minettechatouette · 08/05/2020 22:24

I also think babies and toddlers do benefit from one on one time.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Swipe left for the next trending thread