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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not have bunting up?

113 replies

Magicra84 · 07/05/2020 16:20

Neighbour a few doors down has put up some plastic bunting in hers and and her next door neighbour's garden. I don't mind it at all but when she came to me and asked if I wanted some up and I turned it down she took great offence and questioned why. I told her the truth I don't want it in my garden because my garden is the one place that looks nice and plastic bunting will make it look untidy for me. I just don't want it to be honest.

Well, she said I was a spoil sport and had a go at me for not being a part of the community and she had also noticed I don't clap on Thursdays. I just tilted my head confused and told her I was going to leave her to enjoy the rest of the day. She flounced off and slammed my gate. Aibu to think she's a cf?

OP posts:
CHIRIBAYA · 07/05/2020 17:43

Good for you! I really hope nobody approaches us to put bunting up or there could be fur flying. Does she do the same for Christmas lights? Halloween decs? Or maybe she doesn't bother and YOU could go knocking on HER door, see how she likes it? Live and let live as long as you live by MY rules.

PuzzledObserver · 07/05/2020 17:45

Meh.

Let it go, OP. Fine for her to offer bunting, not fine for her to take umbrage or to try to shame you about not clapping. But by stewing on it, you prolong it, which is pointless.

Let her put up her bunting. Just get on with doing whatever you were planning tomorrow.

joydivisionovengloves1 · 07/05/2020 17:46

I'm wondering if our street will do the VE party thing. They're big on the clapping, and we've gone out a few times to save face as we've just moved here. Last week, a couple over the road brought out a massive NHS flag on 2 poles singing happy birthday to Tom it was very cringeworthy!!

trappedsincesundaymorn · 07/05/2020 17:52

I had some bunting and a note left by my door

"We notice that you have not put any bunting up in preparation for tomorrow's VE celebration. We have left this for you to use with our compliments.
Neighbour from house xx

P.S It has been washed and we were wearing gloves and a mask when we left it for you.

It has been returned with another note.

I have returned your bunting, I am not taking part due to personal reasons. Enjoy your day.

Oliversmumsarmy · 07/05/2020 17:54

You need to come and live in my road.

No bunting in sight and no one has ever clapped.

CoronaMoaner · 07/05/2020 17:57

Our neighbourhood WhatsApp group sent a message yesterday with the timetable of activities and asking who would be participating.

Zero replies.

Divebar · 07/05/2020 17:58

Wow. I don’t think I would object to someone wanting to put bunting up - I personally don’t have any but I wouldn’t mind it. It’s only one day and people need to find positive things to focus on. ( I think VE Day deserves to be commemorated). It’s not like you’re having to make an actual sacrifice.

StellaDelMare · 07/05/2020 18:03

YANBU.
We don't have bunting up and we've not been clapping on Thursdays. I think what the NHS needs is funding from our government and not a clap!

That's not to say I don't fully support and appreciate our key workers for doing a fantastic job!

Maybelatte · 07/05/2020 18:05

Never any obligation to join in. I think more people are going to town with it this year to cheer themselves up and I don’t blame them, whatever works really.

sHREDDIES19 · 07/05/2020 18:06

Sounds like you’ve got a friendly neighbourhood plus it’s only a bit of harmless bunting. I’m personally enjoying our street becoming more friendly and getting into the spirit. Each to their own though I guess. We’ve also got a grump on our street.

SuckingDieselFella · 07/05/2020 18:09

For those who are sneering at VE day, it's a public holiday every year in a number of EU countries. It's nothing to do with nationalism, "aren't we great" or any of the other nonsense on this thread. It's a commemoration of the end of WW2.

We only make a big deal of it every 25 years or so. If you don't like it you are being very unreasonable. It isn't going to inconvenience you at all.

EatsShootsAndRuns · 07/05/2020 18:12

We don't do the clapping and neither will we be marking the anniversary of VE Day. It strikes me as sanctimonious, "oh what a good citizen am I" while pretty much most people I know that will be marking VE Day and clap on their doorsteps are the people we've seen regularly breaking lockdown.

Don't do as I do, do as I say. Hmm

DoTheNextRightThing · 07/05/2020 18:12

Oh god. I live in a grumpy Scottish neighbourhood where everyone hates each other and celebrates nothing - so there is not a scrap of bunting here. Thank god. I would've told her to sling her hook too.

SuckingDieselFella · 07/05/2020 18:12

"We don't have bunting up and we've not been clapping on Thursdays. I think what the NHS needs is funding from our government and not a clap! "

Why are they mutually exclusive? I've seen this comment shared on social media by Labour supporters and I don't get the logic at all. It's just faux moral superiority and sneering at Captain Tom. Not a good look in my opinion.

EatsShootsAndRuns · 07/05/2020 18:15

It's a commemoration of the end of WW2

Except the war against Japan had not yet been won.

SquidwardTennisballs · 07/05/2020 18:22

🙃

To not have bunting up?
itispersonal · 07/05/2020 18:27

People are getting uppity over nothing! Verging on spoil sports.

I remember celebrating the 50th anniversary with special events. Don't know why people are so affronted with celebrating the 75th anniversary, especially with all the sh*t going off!

Don't want bunting up. Don't put it up. But having it or not having doesn't make you better than anyone.

In a time when our neighbours are isolated and we can't go out, why not encourage people to talk and get to know each other (with social distancing).

LemonadeAndDaisyChains · 07/05/2020 18:29

I've voted YANBU as sounds like she was being an utter knob, ignore her!
Nothing to do with her whether you clap or have bunting up, you do you and let her carry on stewing lol

SuckingDieselFella · 07/05/2020 18:31

@EatsShootsAndRuns

If you think the date is wrong, e-mail the head of state of every European country where the end of WW2 is commemorated and tell them May 8th makes you unhappy.

I'm sure they'll change it.

Terralee · 07/05/2020 18:40

I think WW2 ended on August 15th with victory over Japan.
My Grandad was fighting the Japanese in Burma on VE Day & his comrades were still being killed.

My Gran lied about her age & was in the ARP aged 15 in the Salford & Manchester Blitz, delivering messages during the bombing raids protected only by a tin helmet.
She liked dancing to Big Band & Swing music.
She hated 'we'll meet again' and thought it was too miserable as did most youngsters at the time.

Next door are putting up bunting & there's going to be a street party but I'll be at work in the hospital. I don't mind because they're all sharing food & drinks... sounds like a recipe for catching covid to me.

maddiemookins16mum · 07/05/2020 18:49

No bunting here but I am doing an Afternoon Tea in the garden for DD and MIL (who moved in with us for lockdown the night it was announced). She was 11 on VE day and remembers it very well.

jessycake · 07/05/2020 18:51

My daughter works for the nhs and we don't clap , we are not having bunting , my poor mum the only one left in my family who actually celebrated VE day , is in a care home where they had to take covid patients and I haven't seen her for weeks . My dad and MIL died last year and although I don't want to spoil anyone else's fun , I don't feel I want to join in at the moment .

Selfsettling3 · 07/05/2020 18:55

On a personal level I find celebrating ‘Victory in Europe’ abhorrent. I will happily observe the 2 minute silence but glorifying something which led to the death of between 15 to 20 million people is very wrong.

I do understand why people are looking for something to celebrate at the moment and if people want to celebrate it and have a shared positive experience that’s fine by me.

I do think you were rude about your neighbours garden.

DishingOutDone · 07/05/2020 18:58

Misery. Spoil sport. Uppity. I think we should have a MN bingo of names to call people who don't want to be involved in street clapping and other crap.

SuckingDieselFella · 07/05/2020 19:23

"On a personal level I find celebrating ‘Victory in Europe’ abhorrent. I will happily observe the 2 minute silence but glorifying something which led to the death of between 15 to 20 million people is very wrong."

VE Day didn't lead to the death(s) of between 15 to 20 million people. That would have been World War 2, not VE Day. I have no idea how anybody could get them confused.

And you think celebrating the end of WW2 is abhorrent, do you? Now I come to think of it, you're right. Life would have been far better if we hadn't defeated the Nazis.