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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Single parent using delivery slots

125 replies

NellMangel · 07/05/2020 14:19

I have a 5yo who I have been too scared to take to the supernarket. I recently managed to get an online delivery. Since then my friend has made a few remarks about how delivery slots should be used for vulnerable or elderly.

I feel guilty, but also a bit defensive. What do you all think?

YABU - get to the shop with DC
YANBU - get a delivery if you can

OP posts:

ifonly4 · 07/05/2020 16:48

Delivery slots have definitely eased up, so if you can get one, do. If you both go to the supermarket that'll double your chances as a family of getting CV. Also, I've noticed that early on some couples were going to our two local supermarkets, I know one has banned more than one person, but I noticed at the other today it was people queuing on their own.

GinnyStrupac · 07/05/2020 16:52

We are shielding a loved one who does not quite make it onto the government's extremely vulnerable list, and so there is no help or priority slots. We have been unable to get a delivery slot or click and collect with any supermarket delivering around here - rural - since lockdown began. It is frustrating but we are getting by with deliveries of just the essentials from a local small shop, a friend and the milkman. We are not going hungry. I have no problem at all with people like the OP having a supermarket delivery. I do have a problem with people who could easily go to the shops but choose not to. I realise that especially if you have always had a weekly delivery, then you might feel entitled to them, but we are in the middle of a global pandemic and need to show some community spirit that goes beyond Thursday night pot banging and putting up rainbows and bunting. We see the vans going regularly to the same houses of people like that, and I have considered putting my tights over my head and staging The Great Grocery Robbery - if you see this reported in the news, it will be me, and you read it here first.

Nixen · 07/05/2020 16:56

I’m not a single mum and neither DH or I have stepped foot in a supermarket since this began. We’ve used hello fresh / Morrison’s food boxes / Tesco click and collect and Ocado. If anyone has a problem with that they can kiss my arse frankly.

Iflyaway · 07/05/2020 16:59

Hey! It's hard enough being a single mum (I am one) without so-called "friends" undermining you.

Tell her to fuck off in your mind and carry on.

LOALM · 07/05/2020 16:59

My family has to rely on delivery slots because DS is classed as extremely vulnerable so the whole household must shield. I understand some people not within that category - your case for example, OP - also need to use them. It does annoy me a little bit that families who can do their shopping in person choose not to and take delivery slots (regardless of everyone else's argument on here that those in that category get early access to slots trust me, that is not always the case). Having said that, I've accepted its beyond my control and I certainly wouldn't actually make any passive aggressive remarks to a friend using it. Particularly one who has decent justification to do so!

beesthatbuzz · 07/05/2020 17:01

This virtue signaling about not using supermarket delivery slots is starting to bug me now!
If you can get one then bloody well take it. Don't presume that if you don't then it will go to someone more deserving.

Kickanxietyinthebeanbag · 07/05/2020 17:13

Iceland and Tesco and Sainsburys all have slots free every time I log on .i had left them for the vulnerable,but as now there are always plenty ,I back to using home delivery as I normally did

TheEmojiFormerlyKnownAsPrince · 07/05/2020 17:15

My Sainsbury has all slots fully open and easily booked.

Howaboutanewname · 07/05/2020 17:21

Honestly, OP, this is typical of my experience as a single mum for 10 years now. Just about everyone thinks they have an absolute god given right to comment on how you manage your life. Proceed as you see fit. Do what is right for you and your family. Remove this kind of ‘friend’ from your life. And next time, look the cow in the eye and say ‘would you have said that to me if I had had a ring on my finger’ and make it clear you expect a response. You don’t have to apologise for being single and trying to do your best by your children so don’t let anyone put you in that position.

Coronabored · 07/05/2020 17:22

We have had a recurring delivery slot for over 3 years. I could easily get to the shops but why would I give that up? Everyone had the choice to do this pre-pandemic.

GlummyMcGlummerson · 07/05/2020 17:23

YANBU.

People on here a few weeks ago were having tantrums about healthy people having delivery ally's, utter pathetic virtue signalling. I was told that, as a single parent, I should be taking my asthmatic children to the supermarket rather than having a delivery slot because I should be putting complete strangers first

vodkaredbullgirl · 07/05/2020 17:24

I have had deliveries either very early in the morning, 6am or late at night 10pm.

daytriptovulcan · 07/05/2020 17:30

Your friends a tosser

HandfulOfFlowers · 07/05/2020 17:32

Tell your friend to jog on and find something useful to do.

myself2020 · 07/05/2020 17:37

I use delivery - not a single parent, but we both still work fulltime with 2 kids at home. i have no time to get to the shops!

Ilovecats14 · 07/05/2020 18:12

Tescos in my area have loads. My friends and family have all managed to get them. I have one coming tomorrow. I assumed people on the vulnerable list get first priority then they get offered to others?

SpiritEssence · 07/05/2020 18:40

Take it and dont worry

princesstwinkle · 07/05/2020 18:45

YANBU

Rover83 · 07/05/2020 18:48

If supermarkets wanted to save slots for vulnerable or elderly then they are perfectly capable of doing so. They arent so I take them if I find them and I'm not a single parent, I found a click and collect order for this Monday and booked it.

tillyteatowel · 07/05/2020 18:54

Keep the slot and bin the friend

Jasmin82 · 07/05/2020 19:03

YANBU. You do what you need to and what works for you. I have a slot booked next week. If people want to criticise me, let them. They'll likely be the same ones complaining about me holding them up in a queue as I shuffle slowly forwards leaning on a trolley, or moaning that I'm queue jumping if, having booked a click and collect, I end up having to go in store to get my order when the previous slot order is still in the lockers needed for my order.
I can't be doing with judgey people. I apologise for holding people up, nothing I can do about it while my legs are on their current temper tantrum and refusing to do as they're told. I don't have much choice when I live alone with a dog. I have joked about sending the dog with a shopping list and my card, I just don't trust her not to come back with 20 boxes of bonios and nothing else!

Coffeecak3 · 07/05/2020 19:05

Keep the slot and bin the friend

^^
This.

Hippofrog · 07/05/2020 19:07

I’m a single parent and have by some strange chance managed to get a recurring slot! Happy days 😊

megletthesecond · 07/05/2020 19:18

Yanbu. I'm a LP and haven't been in a shop for 7 weeks. I've managed click and collects, a couple of deliveries and my milkman tops it up.

GabsAlot · 08/05/2020 10:55

ive just started booking them im not in a vulnerable catgegory but am at higher risk-you go ahead theyve sorted out the shielded slots so anything else is for the general public

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