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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Single parent using delivery slots

125 replies

NellMangel · 07/05/2020 14:19

I have a 5yo who I have been too scared to take to the supernarket. I recently managed to get an online delivery. Since then my friend has made a few remarks about how delivery slots should be used for vulnerable or elderly.

I feel guilty, but also a bit defensive. What do you all think?

YABU - get to the shop with DC
YANBU - get a delivery if you can

OP posts:
LemonadeAndDaisyChains · 07/05/2020 15:42

What a previous poster said - you can't bloody win!
If you were to take your kids out, you'd get people hoicking their pants up at "people taking the family out shopping"
Also, seeing as a lot of shops are only letting one person from a family in at a time, what are you supposed to do, just leave them outside?!
Much more sensible to get a delivery slot as you need one.
I swear, some people have gone bonkers with the judgy pantness, ignore your "friend".

Legoandloldolls · 07/05/2020 15:45

You cant win. So many nasty posts on my local FB page telling mums to lick babies in the car.

Do what you need to do to survive. Also dont over share with your friend. She sounds like a knob

Legoandloldolls · 07/05/2020 15:45

Lick? Lock. Fecking phone

Legoandloldolls · 07/05/2020 15:47

Dont lick your DC btw, they are covered in germs and harbingers of death ( according to FB community boards)

AcrossthePond55 · 07/05/2020 15:53

One of the main things I've learnt during this lockdown (FWIW I'm in the US) is to keep one's mouth shut about what one is doing.

I don't mean to violate the shutdown willy nilly and not say anything, I mean that if you make a thoughtful, considered decision whilst trying your best to stay within the guidelines there will always be someone to cry "Shame!!" for some reason or other.

So, if you've considered from all angles and there is no one who can watch your child and you don't feel it's suitable (or allowed) to take him with you, then book a delivery with no feelings of guilt. Just keep it to yourself.

CantSayJack · 07/05/2020 16:03

YANBU

If the slots are available then you are allowed to book because if you don’t someone else will and the supermarkets are supposed to have a list of those who need delivery slots. If slots are still showing then they are for use by everyone.

Also, we are ALL vulnerable to some extent because until we actually get the virus, we don’t know how our bodies will react.

There are plenty slots available where we live so we use them.

Legoandloldolls · 07/05/2020 16:08

I'm doing click and collect. I have a disabled child. There are no end of slots available so I no longer feel any guilt I am taking up a slot every ten or so days from a vunerable shielded person. Because its simply not true. They are there in plenty and available, even for two days from now still

TheOrigBrave · 07/05/2020 16:11

I am a single parent, but I can leave my kids at home.
However, I am WFH full time and have time-consuming care responsibilities for a relative.

Groc shopping takes SO much time. My younger son is really struggling emotionally. I could spend all w/e catching up with chores (mine and the relative) or I could use an available delivery slot (click and collect actually) and spend that time nurturing my son while I can.

I did offer my ocado slot to a vulnerable person in my village, but they never got back to me so I tried.

I'm doing my bit, but buggered if I'm going to martyr myself. The slots are available.

SuperrHann · 07/05/2020 16:15

Around me delivery slots are now readily available. I've had one for the last few weeks and have had c 20-30 slots to choose from each time - so I've had zero guilt about taking one as it's as easy to get as it was before, and I used to get a delivery every week before all this.

I wouldn't worry about it, there are now special provisions for the vulnerable in addition to more freely available supermarket deliveries!

Devlesko · 07/05/2020 16:18

You have nothing to feel guilty about. The shielded and elderly are offered slots first, then it's a free for all.
People like me aren't using delivery slots so people like you can take them.
I don't want a medal, btw, it's what you do as a decent human being.
We are going to have deliveries for the second wave as me and dh are vulnerable, but not shielded.
It's hard enough, so I'm told, (dh has been going) without trying to cope with a child too.

Maybelatte · 07/05/2020 16:19

Your ‘friend’ sounds like a twat.

my2bundles · 07/05/2020 16:20

You are on your own with a young child. Please don't feel guilty and dont let others make you feel that way. Do what you need to do to keep your child safe.

TitsInAbsentia · 07/05/2020 16:22

YANBU!

For the first time in 8 weeks I have managed to get a delivery slot (there were loads) so I've taken it. I've been working non stop even though at home and am tired, when I'm not working there's still house work and cooking etc, so I'm not apologising to anyone for copping a break a having stuff delivered.

LemonadeAndDaisyChains · 07/05/2020 16:23

So many nasty posts on my local FB page telling mums to lick babies in the car

Grin
Topsy44 · 07/05/2020 16:27

YANBU. I am a lone parent and I take any slot I can get!

VladmirsPoutine · 07/05/2020 16:28

I can't understand why so many posters make life so hard for themselves. I would have booked a slot and thought no more about it - single parent or not.

Needtosleep4days · 07/05/2020 16:30

Tell her to bugger off. Not all vunerable people have internet access. If you get a slot then it's fine! Otherwise the company would make sure it wasn't for you. Iceland have done it only for vunerable. Morrisons have loads of slots.
I'm 32 and healthy. But I have two kids and no car. I can't do a week's shop and I also don't want to take my kids to shops to be eviled. So I've had a good delivery every week for the last three weeks. Before then if was every ten daysish.

I also use milk and more.

I've always online shopped. We have as much right as anyone else. Alot of places have helped the vunerable. I get it's hard. It's hard for everyone. People should keep their opinions to themselves.

Original poster
NellMangel · 07/05/2020 16:36

Well the mumsnet moral compass is pointing in my favour so I will dispense with the guilt x

OP posts:
Glittertwins · 07/05/2020 16:38

Do what is best for you and get the delivery.
I've had regular deliveries for 13 years now and I'm not about to stop them either

JessicaDay · 07/05/2020 16:40

All the supermarkets have massively expanded their delivery capacity so there are a lot more slots to go round than in March.

mrpumblechook · 07/05/2020 16:41

I get priority access because I am vulnerable. I thought most supermarkets did that in which case it's fine to take a slot of it's there.

Mulhollandmagoo · 07/05/2020 16:44

People who are vulnerable/shielding are able to get slots before they're released I think, so if they have them available then use it definitely, would be more beneficial all of the delivery and click and collect slots being used to keep people out of the supermarkets so social distancing inside is easier.

Don't feel guilty what you've done is absolutely fine, and you're kind to factor in that she's got a lot on at the minute even if she hasn't done the same for you

YouAreTheEggManIAmTheWalrus · 07/05/2020 16:45

I’d ask her what, exactly she suggests you do?

Humina · 07/05/2020 16:45

I've noticed there are loads more slots available the past 2 weeks than before. Go for it. Your friend is not really a friend.

Dk20 · 07/05/2020 16:46

I was told by a Tesco delivery driver that slots are reserved for those who are on the vulnerable list, then any that aren't used are released to everyone else.
So don't feel guilty and use the slots if you can get them.
I am using them when I can.

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