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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Single parent using delivery slots

125 replies

NellMangel · 07/05/2020 14:19

I have a 5yo who I have been too scared to take to the supernarket. I recently managed to get an online delivery. Since then my friend has made a few remarks about how delivery slots should be used for vulnerable or elderly.

I feel guilty, but also a bit defensive. What do you all think?

YABU - get to the shop with DC
YANBU - get a delivery if you can

OP posts:
Truthpact · 07/05/2020 14:38

Meh I managed to get a click and collect slot for next Thursday last night. I havent seen any slots since February. Hell yeah I took it.

No one else gives a toss about anyone else around here. There's still no flour on the shelves. Often no toilet roll, still. It's everyone for themselves in this area it seems sadly.

YappityYapYap · 07/05/2020 14:39

Tell your friend to fuck off

SporadicNamechange · 07/05/2020 14:40

You should shop in whatever way suits you OP. You don’t need any justification at all.

If you can get a slot, it means it’s going spare. Looking right now, I can book a Sainsbury delivery for Monday if I fancy it. Pretty much any time slot too. If I look on a weekday usually, I can get next day slots easily (it’s only full up to Monday because of the bank holiday weekend right now).

People who have enough time to get judgemental about how people shop need to get a hobby. I’ve heard cycling is a good one. If extremely outing.

30daysoflight · 07/05/2020 14:41

Please dont feel guilty about this, you and your little one are as important as anyone else.
I have a guaranteed slot every fortnight from Ocado. I am not in the shielding group but my DH and I have numerous health issues. We all want to be safe, it's human nature.

CodenameVillanelle · 07/05/2020 14:41

I can't believe people are still sniping about people getting online food shops 7 weeks into lockdown. There were issues the first couple of weeks but they have pretty much sorted them out now and if I have managed to get a slot every week between two different supermarkets then anybody should be able to tbh.

LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett · 07/05/2020 14:43

Most of the supermarkets, most of the time, have finally sorted out priority slots. We could have got one next day the last time I looked. So that means that the normal slots are fair game, imho.

CheshireDing · 07/05/2020 14:44

YANBU
As pp said, if the slots there then use it, less adults and children in the shops then
I have been using slots (only 2 so far) and will continue to do so, we have 3 small children and DH keyworker

Original poster
NellMangel · 07/05/2020 14:45

Thanks for the reassurance, I couldn't step back and see if I was being selfish.

She's usually fantastic and that's what's made me wobble. However she has a relative with special diet, but who is not on shielding list, so my friend is having to do their shopping and its added stress for her at a time when she was already down - so I'll not make a big thing of it.

OP posts:
Ilovechinese · 07/05/2020 14:47

Tell your friend to STFU and mind her own business! She doesn't sound like much of a friend anyway

SporadicNamechange · 07/05/2020 14:50

In any case, the original instruction was that everyone should use delivery services where possible. The supermarkets didn’t (and don’t) have capacity for that, so they decided to prioritise the groups identified as most vulnerable. As they got a handle on it, they’ve opened them up to anyone.

Somehow some people have decided to translate this into the slots only being for the vulnerable. They just aren’t.

AnneOfCloves · 07/05/2020 14:51

Your friend is being an arse. Ignore that pettiness and definitely use the slot.

Waxonwaxoff0 · 07/05/2020 14:51

YANBU at all, but it is fine to take your DC to the shop, I'm a single parent and go twice a week with DS, no one has batted an eyelid.

SporadicNamechange · 07/05/2020 14:53

@NellMangel Her relative could almost certainly get a delivery slot as easily as the rest of us now. Your friend is still doing her shopping, presumably because neither of them have actually tried to get one.

Personally, I suspect the odds of getting flour are higher if I didn’t do an online shop. There’s never even a possibility of trying to order flour from Sainsbury’s. But DH said they had loads in M&S (when I sent him for GF flour for our coeliac children).

CeibaTree · 07/05/2020 14:53

I think at the beginning of lockdown all of the slots were being reserved for elderly and vulnerable, but that doesn't seem to be the case now. If there are slots available to book then book one! We have continued to get deliveries when slots become available. Your friend sounds like a interfering busy body.

Hopeisnotastrategy · 07/05/2020 14:53

If they were all needed for the vulnerable or elderly, you wouldn’t be getting one. It’s fine as long as you’re being reasonable.

OneandTwenty · 07/05/2020 14:55

huh?!? I am not single, and I am getting delivery slots. There seem to be plenty available, we no longer need to stay up all night to get one at midnight or 3 am, so why on earth wouldn't I!

Don't discuss your life with your "friend", and make the most of what is available. You are doing absolutely nothing wrong.

Onthebrink87 · 07/05/2020 14:55

You'll get judged either way, we all know at this point that it's impossible to please everyone... so please yourself and do what's best for your family!

Probably doing your friend a favour, she may well be one of those people who aren't happy unless they have something to whinge and feel superior.

P1nkHeartLovesCake · 07/05/2020 14:57

Just use the slot. Most supermarkets do appear to have more slots available now, I think they have started to sort the system out anyway

kirinm · 07/05/2020 14:57

This virus has really brought out the nasty in some people. If you need a delivery slot, you need a delivery slot. You are allowed them regardless of whether you're vulnerable or not.

It seems there is a competition to be as considerate of "those at risk" as possible even if that means actually behaving like an arsehole to prove how considerate you are.

Pipandmum · 07/05/2020 14:58

As most online deliveries are priortising the vulnerable already if you find one available grab it. Tesco deliveries near be are widely available suddenly so I have no qualms about booking.

TinRoofRusty · 07/05/2020 14:58

She's not a friend. She's one of those miserable tits who use this to judge and sneer at other people. Fuck her. Ignore her shitty remarks. Feel no guilt. I've pulled back from people like this.

Bathonian2020 · 07/05/2020 14:59
  1. Definitely take the slot. As others have said it will be a slot left over after providing slots to vulnerable people in your area.
  1. It is not necessary to discuss this or indeed any details of your life with your "friend" again so she will not have a clue what you have done. None of her business.
meercat23 · 07/05/2020 14:59

I am in the shielded group and have been able and grateful to get delivery slots throughout. However range of people who need to use delivery services is much broader than those officially described as vulnerable and if you can access slots you absolutely should feel as entitled to use them as anyone else.

It is my impression that slots are becoming more readily available now, in this area anyway.

I think the worst aspect of this virus is that it seems to have allowed those of a judgmental frame of mind more opportunity than usual.

OP if I was in your situation with a small child I would not be wanting to take them into a supermarket unnecessarily either. Ignore your friend and use the slots as you can get them.

Inthemuckheap · 07/05/2020 15:00

Tell your friend to fuck off. I'm not vulnerable, I don't have kids at home anymore, I have a husband who is perfectly able as am I and have my food orders delivered every week. Always have done and always will do. If you can get a delivery slot take it.

(and before the "Oh you're so selfish" brigade jump on me, we're both keyworkers working f-t with C19 positive people but that's irrelevant)

BearSoFair · 07/05/2020 15:01

YANBU. Aren't most supermarkets prioritising the vulnerable first anyway so if the slot is available for you it isn't causing someone at risk to miss out.