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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Social worker visit?

116 replies

rabbitheadlights · 07/05/2020 09:54

Hi all,

I'm much more of a lurker than a poster so hopefully I won't say the wrong thing and get myself into trouble.

Our social worker arranged a visit for yesterday, when we discussed it on the phone she said it may be awkward for the kids as she'd be wearing PPE etc.. However she turned up at 9 am (feeding time at the zoo). My partner went to the door as I was busy in the kitchen and then in she strolled, not a scrap of ppe in sight, no gloves, no face mask!! Kids all saying hi etc . I was so worried I wanted to scream get out!! But she's in now so the damage is done. When she left I asked my DP what in earth he was thinking letting her in like that? He said " I know, I was worried too.but you can't refuse entry to these people because they will just make things difficult for us!!" For context he's a recovering alcoholic and is doing well, she wandered all round the house, went upstairs to chat with my daughter etc ... I just don't know what to do, we have literally been in the house since all this started except for me going to get groceries as my son is vulnerable and all for what? She could have brought anything in especially if she has been visiting other people the same way??

So my aibu is this aibu to think he shouldn't have let her in? Or is he right that with people like SW etc you have to just go with it and keep your mouth shut?

OP posts:
Amatteroftime · 07/05/2020 09:58

Personally, I would be contacting her/her manager to say that you felt under pressure and given the current situation, her lack of PPE was inappropriate. Ask them what measures they will be putting in place for your next visit to ensure that your children's health is safeguarded.

Word it politely of course.

FriedasCarLoad · 07/05/2020 09:59

I can see it would have been better if he'd asked her to put on PPE, but I can also totally understand why he didn't feel comfortable doing so.

I think the only unreasonable person here is the SW, who should have talked to you both about it before entering the house.

Original poster
rabbitheadlights · 07/05/2020 10:01

@FriedasCarLoad when I discussed her visiting on the phone she did say she would be wearing PPE

OP posts:
Waveysnail · 07/05/2020 10:01

Perhaps she hasnt been given any ppe?

Festipal · 07/05/2020 10:03

The SW should have been wearing PPE. Before you make a complaint best to get to the bottom of why she didn't.

If she ran out due to stock levels that's a local authority complaint.
If she ran out because she wasn't organised that's a complaint about her organisational skills.
If she didn't wear it through choice that's a complaint about her not following guidance.

So yes you should complain but first understand why she didn't do the right thing.

Original poster
rabbitheadlights · 07/05/2020 10:04

@Waveysnail maybe not, but my aibu isn't about that, it's about wether or not my DP should have let her in?

OP posts:
calpolatdawn · 07/05/2020 10:05

i would have asked and it would have put them on the spot a bit, just said do you have any PPE to put on? politely, but i would ring up the manager.

Original poster
rabbitheadlights · 07/05/2020 10:05

@Festipal not sure I want to complain, what would be the point? And surely then they would really make things difficult?

OP posts:
catfeets · 07/05/2020 10:06

As far as I know, all authorities are supposed to call you before arriving to check that no one in the household has had symptoms of Covid, no one has a temperature, no one is self isolating and no one is in the at risk category.
We don't have social worker involvement but have had health visitor and infant feeding involvement and they have to follow those guidelines, I would have thought social workers would have to too.
All contact should be minimal and they should only be coming out if they really have to.

aliloandabanana · 07/05/2020 10:07

I disagree - if you're unhappy with her actions you complain to her employer and they find out why she didn't follow guidelines (if she didn't). It's not up to you to find out why!

Amatteroftime · 07/05/2020 10:10

And surely then they would really make things difficult?

No, they should investigate the complaint. Don't forget, the local authority is a government organisation, who should certainly be following central government guidelines. A complaint regarding concerns about lack of PPE shows you being protective of your children, not the opposite.

Festipal · 07/05/2020 10:10

@rabbitheadlights you need to complain because her actions put your family at risk (I work with SW although am not a SW). If you don't complain nothing will change whether that's the local authority getting its act together on PPE or her getting her act together to follow the guidance.

If you don't raise the issue nothing will have been learnt and nothing will change. It doesn't have to be 'I'm making a complaint'. Because the first stage is finding out why it happened.

AvoidingRealHumans · 07/05/2020 10:11

Your aibu is asked about the wrong thing, your partner explained his reasoning for not refusing her entry, why didn't you ask her to leave after seeing she wasn't in ppe?

I would be calling her office and explaining that you are very uncomfortable that she didn't come in ppe and spent time in your home presumably after doing the same in other homes. Ask why and let them know you won't be accommodating anymore visits unless in the correct ppe.
They can't make things difficult for you on the back if this, you are protecting your family.

Festipal · 07/05/2020 10:12

@aliloandabanana what I meant is to understand how to direct the complaint. The sw may not be to blame if she doesn't have sufficient access to PPE.

Original poster
rabbitheadlights · 07/05/2020 10:13

@catfeets yeah she came out as the kids didn't really engage with her in the video zoom meeting and she wanted to chat to them

OP posts:
Original poster
rabbitheadlights · 07/05/2020 10:17

@AvoidingRealHumans because at that point she was in my lounge, sat on my sofa chatting to my kids, so she was already in.

OP posts:
AvoidingRealHumans · 07/05/2020 10:22

So what if she was already on your couch? If you genuinely felt that concerned then you could have asked her for a quick chat in private and asked what she was playing at.

Now you're making out you're annoyed at your partner when he did what you did - Let someone without ppe into your home and didn't question it at the time.

Original poster
rabbitheadlights · 07/05/2020 10:25

@AvoidingRealHumans I just figured the damage was already done to be honest

OP posts:
Mishymoshy78 · 07/05/2020 10:36

You should have asked her why arent you wearing ppe. I dont think you should focus on your dp and blame him. The only wrong here is social worker rocking up without ppe.
Yout partner sounds intimidated as were you so its not fair to make it his fault.

yearinyearout · 07/05/2020 10:39

No, he shouldn't have let her in. She's an idiot for even thinking it's ok to enter people's homes without any PPE.

greenlynx · 07/05/2020 10:42

You don’t want to complain because SS could make your life difficult but at the same time surprised that your partner let her in worried that otherwise SS would make your life difficult.

MissMarks · 07/05/2020 10:42

I am more astounded at her stupidity.

antisupermum · 07/05/2020 10:48

Another one here wondering why you are so keen to pin this on your partner? You are a grown woman and if you were unhappy, you had ample opportunity to question her lack of PPE, or politely request that she vacate the premises and return when she had suitable protection - for not only your families safety but her own. Social workers are not exempt from being questioned if they are acting inappropriately.

CodenameVillanelle · 07/05/2020 10:54

She was very wrong to visit without PPE if it was available to her. I'm a SW and for the few families we do need to visit in the home we are to wear PPE and not sit down, and still try to maintain 6 foot distance if possible.

Don't be intimidated into not bringing this up.

LooseyGoosey · 07/05/2020 10:55

Technically PPE isn't required for anyone who's job doesn't require them to undertake personal care. Social workers in the local authority are wearing PPE if families would prefer them to, but that's only because we have adequate supply. It's been all over the news that there's a national shortage so Councils quite rightly have to prioritise staff in care homes and any workers doing things like changing nappies or giving baths and medication etc.

I can totally understand why it unnerved you, and had you mentioned it, the social worker absolutely should have put on PPE, but provided she just talked to you all from a reasonable distance, you shouldn't be at any risk. Sorry to hear you had such an unsettling experience though from someone who's job it is to do the opposite. It's such a shame there isn't enough PPE to provide everyone undertaking any sort of visits with enough, as I'm sure it would help lots of people feel more comfortable.